A little light on the subject

"The reconciliation of equals is way more beautiful than any victory."

-- Violeta Barrios De Chamorro

"Failure (and losing) is rarely fatal; victory (and winning) is rarely success."

-- Tony Richardson

"It must be peace without victory, for only a peace between equals can really last."

-- Woodrow T. Wilson

"The aim of argument or conflict should not be victory or escape for one, but progress for all."

-- Joseph Joubert

"If you live long enough, you’ll see that worldly victory inevitably turns into bitter defeat and vice versa."

-- Simone de Beauvoir

"When we pray for the Spirit’s help, we simply fall down at the Lord’s feet in our weakness and total overwhelm. There, and there alone, will we find true and lasting victory, as well as the peace and power that comes from His relentless love."

-- Andrew Murray

We live in a world and a culture that has been addicted to winning and being right and staying safe in our own minds, even while we have learned that these are so often fleeting, hollow, shallow, and worthless prizes. I am watching (and, OK, yes, igniting and stoking) a total revolution in this area, where people with seemingly so little to gain and everything to lose (at least based on their previous ego-centric views) risk everything to complete and connect with each other, while communing humbly with their Maker, and I stand by in awe, so honored to stand firm, to guard, and to hold their fragile candle of hope and possibility.

Inspired by their boldness and courage, I am also humbled by His gentle guidance into such relationally unknown territory, never before even to be considered by so many. The notions of completion, forgiveness, making amends, reconciliation, redemption are such huge distinctions, so daunting in their full ramifications, especially when the pain of infidelity is involved, that in this conflict-avoiding, fairness-focused, pain-averse, retribution-minded world they were almost considered insignificant and silly, until now, in a growing circle of people who are recognizing that what does not get healed gets infected, and they are now ready to spit out the poison and accept the possibility of true life and true love, that is only available on the other side of relational death and rejection.

I now recognize my only "job" in this arena is to boldly and firmly hold another's candle for them while they wrestle with the winds of their own internal mental conflict and emotional turmoil (that is always stirred up when any notion of hate, hurt, or vengeance enter the scene), so that they can choose their actions and their attitude with their eyes wide open and a little light on the subject.

And what a fragile, precious, and yet soooooo persistent light it is.