Revolution Consulting

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2010-04-20T13:37:00.001-05:00

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2010-04-20T06:59:00.003-05:00

Lightening up!

�The one important thing I have learned over the years is the difference between taking one's work (or vocation) seriously and taking one's self seriously. The first is imperative and the second can be totally disastrous.�

-- Margot Fonteyn

"Don't take yourself too seriously, and for God�s sake don't be too serious about not taking yourself too seriously."

-- Howard Ogden

"He is a sane man who can hold pain and tragedy in his heart and comedy and mirth in his head."

-- G.K. Chesterton, in Tremendous Trifles, 1909

"The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool."

-- As You Like It

"Deny your (lower) �self� for your (Higher) �Self's� sake."

-- Benjamin Franklin

I am sitting here shivering in 33-degree weather in a very big house with no heat, feeling my lower self very denied. I barely slept last night, warmed only by a fireplace I had to keep going all night, while snoozing for short periods on the sofa, and I can�t help but laugh at myself about all this. And there aren�t many daffodils out there this morning, so I won�t be doing any counting or musing on them as I suggested the other day. In fact, there�s not much out there moving this morning. It�s way too cold for me to kayak to my favorite breakfast spot. Maybe I�ll just sit here and whimper and sulk a little bit. Nah, there�s nobody here that�s willing to give me any attention or feel sorry for me, so why bother? I don�t feel particularly loved by God right now, and I even hear Him laughing as I can�t take that joke very seriously. We�re having a ball (almost, anyway), as I learn to roll with it and go with this thing, as just another new adventure. I think I�ll go get on some warm boots (my feet will have to do the warming since they�re very cold right now) and walk over to see Phil for some coffee and eggs. Where things go from there is anybody�s guess, but suffice it to say I am very aware of my totally ridiculous situation.

I am slowly learning that not only do I not have to be physically and emotionally comfortable to experience Him, it often (both the zealous pursuit and the actual experience of comfort) gets in the way. Right now it�s not, though, and I see His goofy smile smirking at me. �You asked to get up here so that you could feel closer to Me,� He teased. �Well, here you are. Come give Me a big hug, and I�ll warm you right up!� �How�s that going to work exactly?� I complain unappreciatively. �Let�s just use our imaginations, OK, and while we�re at it you can thank Me for the trees and the fire and the air, and you for the very smart notion of a fireplace. I keep trying to tell you � I mean I even came and showed you - that this place ain�t built for your comfort and relaxation along with your total understanding of it, but for your growth and transcendence along with your total acceptance of it for what it is, as it is, but you just don�t seem to want to listen to any of that. You keep trying to fix up the place to be perfect � to understand, improve, manage, and relax into it as your totally reliable and trustworthy home. Good luck with that. This is another wake-up call, Jimmy. I am your Home and all you can ever fully and truly relax into, and here I am � Home Sweet Home!

2010-04-19T06:15:00.001-05:00

Resting in true freedom

I�m in Connecticut this morning, after driving up from the Philly area late last night. I�m off to New Hampshire and some peaceful replenishment later this morning or early afternoon. I�ve received so many good wishes for a nice trip, so many curious interrogatories, and a few funny observations or complaints about pending assignments, all delightful. So many loose ends, so many little things to review, so little to worry about. My Mom and I spent a good amount of time over the weekend talking about worry, and how useless it is. It only exists in a state of bondage or slavery. In the Kingdom, nada. Freedom rules. Because God rules, and the rest is His Story.

Growing Into Our True Freedom

True freedom is the freedom of the children of God. To reach that freedom requires a lifelong discipline since so much in our world militates against it. The political, economic, social, and even religious powers surrounding us all want to keep us in bondage so that we will obey their commands and be dependent on their rewards. But the spiritual truth that leads to freedom is the truth that we belong not to the world but to God, whose beloved children we are. By living lives in which we keep returning to that truth in word and deed, we will gradually grow into our true freedom.

The Spirit Will Speak in Us

When we are spiritually free, we do not have to worry about what to say or do in unexpected, difficult circumstances. When we are not concerned about what others think of us or what we will get for what we do, the right words and actions will emerge from the center of our beings because the Spirit of God, who makes us children of God and sets us free, will speak and act through us. Jesus says: "When you are handed over, do not worry about how to speak or what to say; what you are to say will be given to you when the time comes, because it is not you who will be speaking; the Spirit of your Father will be speaking in you" (Matthew 10:19-20).
Let's keep trusting the Spirit of God living within us, so that we can live freely in a world that keeps handing us over to judges and evaluators.

Freedom Attracts

When you are interiorly free you call others to freedom, whether you know it or not. Freedom attracts wherever it appears. A free man or a free woman creates a space where others feel safe and want to dwell. Our world is so full of conditions, demands, requirements, and obligations that we often wonder what is expected of us. But when we meet a truly free person, there are no expectations, only an invitation to reach into ourselves and discover there our own freedom. Where true inner freedom is, there is God. And where God is, there we want to be.

Leave it to Henri (Nouwen) to set the tone for my trip to the lake, with the three above coming in over the last three days. How perfect! While living and breathing my disciplined obedience, I am off to savor my freedom, in God�s arms. There is no �love language� needed to be learned or understood with Him in the center. He speaks and offers the language of the soul of all of us. It drives and nourishes everything. Nothing else matters but this.

I will write a little over the week, maybe, and will live and love and learn a lot, to be sure. Enjoy your freedom!

2010-04-15T05:20:00.002-05:00

Asking for help

Many have questioned me about how I could possibly survive financially doing what I�ve been doing for these last 12 years. They cannot fathom how �I� (and there�s the main fallacy in the question) can possibly make ends meet with a young family and no stockpile of cash or paychecks coming in or corporate benefits of any kind and not charging people for my services (that�s just ridiculous, Jim), and by just asking for help and requesting support every so often when things start to feel crazy and impossible, and I think it mostly has to do with how embarrassing and frustrating it can be for most people to ask people for money (or anything, for that matter) for themselves. It strikes them as being or looking embarrassingly needy, desperate, dependent, etc., which feels like a fate worse than death. There appears to be a lot of pain and scarcity and shame and a real stigma around that subject of dependence and neediness for so many.

The answer I would offer is really very simple. �I� don�t do anything but what I�m told, and it�s not my job to �make my ends meet� (to �know my ends,� yes, but not to �make them meet�) only to do what I�m told, trusting that He has a plan for me that is far better than any I might have. I�ve run the full race before trying to do things my way, on my own and not needing Him or help from any others, and I collapsed under the weight of that independence in sheer and utter exhaustion. In truth, I don�t ever ask particular people (so-called customers) for specific amounts of money anymore (the price for my product or service), expecting those specific them to provide it. I simply ask (and thank) God for my sustenance (even before I feel as if I�ve really received it), so I can continue being all of Jim and doing this work that I love, believing with my whole heart that He wants me to and therefore will provide what I very specifically need (vs. amounts and things I think I might want), and I share that sincere belief in and request of Him with many people, some or one of whom He will use as He sees fit to provide it.

In other words, and only after having followed my very specific instructions, I thankfully express specific needs without having any specific expectations regarding how they will be met (while also knowing deep down that they already have and will continue to be over the duration), and I trust Him to do whatever He determines is best for me, even if it seeming to ignore me or punish me in some way. I trust His proven (time and time again), all-encompassing, drawing-close intent for me way more than I believe my largely unfounded (especially when I can see how much of my life�s pain and suffering I�ve projected onto Him) very specific and very isolating fears about Him and others. I have joyfully moved from �rich young ruler� status (blindly seeking what �I� can do better) to �blind beggar� non-status (seeing and understanding that He can do better and will, if I only ask and believe).

And, if you are looking for a one-word answer:

2010-04-14T05:23:00.002-05:00

Authority and obedience - a delicate balance

�A person with great authority who has no place in or person with which to be humbly obedient is in great spiritual danger. Similarly, a very obedient person who has no place in or people with which to act with genuine authority is equally in danger. Jesus spoke with great authority, but his whole life was lived in complete obedience to his Father, and Jesus, who said to his Father, �Let it be as you, not I, would have it� (Matthew 26:39), has been given all authority in heaven and on earth (see Matthew 28:18). Let us ask ourselves: Do we live our authority in obedience and do we live our obedience with authority? Both are equally important, if not required.�

-- Henri Nouwen Society

"Please take note that Satan is not afraid of our sharing the word of Christ, yet how very much he is in fear of our being truly obedient and deeply subject to him� We share the gospel in order to invite people into God's authority� We do not obey man but God's authority in that man� Before a man can subject himself to God's delegated authority he must first meet God's inherent authority� The work of redemption is to bring us back to the place where we will now find our right and wrong only in God, respecting and obeying and demanding what He says through truly surrendered people, including ourselves."

-- Watchman Nee, in Spiritual Authority

"I tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does. For the Father loves the Son and shows him all he does. Yes, to your amazement He will show him even greater things than these.�

-- John 5:19,20 (NIV)

�Why are we so afraid of the word �Authority?� What is it about this word that causes our stomach to shrink and our pride to rise up? It should be a relief to have someone in genuine (vs. dominating for their own gain) authority over us? Someone to take real and reliable care of us, to make difficult decisions easily? We have had authority over us from the day we were born and will have authority over us throughout all eternity. Shouldn't we then embrace our so-called authorities? We have an awesome opportunity to pray for them, encourage them, and help them become the people God created them to be. When we honor God in obeying His Word and shining His Light we are showing others that God is our ultimate authority. We trust Him with our very lives, our body, our finances, our families, our homes, our vehicles, our hearts and minds. We are surrendering all aspects of our lives to Him for Him to reign over completely. Some of the reasons people fear the word authority is because of their insecurities and the frightful lack of control that seems to come with them, their unwillingness of submission (another word a lot of people are afraid of). Bottom line is people don't trust anyone anymore! How can we say we have surrendered to our God if we don't trust Him with our lives? If we don't submit to those He has placed in temporary authority over us? Our God has put everything in a very specific order for our benefit. We honor God through our obedience to His plan. God's desire is that we are set apart from the world; we are in the world but not of it. We have had many people ask us, �How do you know what God wants you to do?� or they have a desire to know what their purpose in life is. The answer is doing what God has said in His Word to do. He does not want us to blend with the world; He wants us to stand out. We are ambassadors for Christ; we represent Him. We have been given a job to do. And our job is to �Be a light in the world�, to �Be the salt of the earth�.�

-- Judy Merrill

It�s really interesting. I didn�t want to send this message out this morning. After completing it, I didn�t really like it very much. It felt way too heavy-handed, too religious, too serious, and I had just come from time in a courtroom yesterday, where the exercise of authority made me sick to my stomach. I don�t even like the subjects of authority and obedience, anyway. And then I re-examined my heart, and asked Him for instruction, and waited, and it came.

�Here is a chance to practice what you preach, Jim � in other words, to obey Me vs. question yourself, to really respect My authority in your life. I say go with it. Let it rip! Be the light. Be the salt. Let the pots be stirred, starting with your own. And while you�re at it, my child, I want you to pick up the full authority I have delegated to you in your obedience, and wield it with great love and compassion and care. Ask for what is required everywhere you go. You will know what I mean by that. There will be things that need doing, roles that need playing, while you are off giving Me everything every day. Ask. Expect resistance. Notice people. Obey me. Share everything.�

Man, I really didn�t want to share that.

2010-04-12T05:18:00.003-05:00

Observing the signs of a savior complex or co-dependency

�It is crucially important to note that underneath our deep-seated �need to be needed� and our associated �need for things to be OK� often lurks the so-called �savior complex,� which derives from a fear that our lives are insignificant and unimportant, and that we are both powerless and worthless. When we fear the ambiguity, chaos, and mystery that God operates in inside human lives and our closest relationships, we go from a panicky feeling of being alone, helpless, and powerless to attempting to make ourselves gods in order to cope and feel better about ourselves.�

-- Kathleen Bren

�Co-dependency is not about the unhealthy or unresolved relationship one has with an addict or an excessively needy person; it is about the absence of a healthy relationship with oneself, where the excessive concerns about or the covert or overt attempts to control another�s well-being or predicament or possible choices becomes painfully detrimental to the person who has obviously taken �caring� to dangerously counterproductive extremes.�

-- Terry Kellogg

What does it �sound like� - this co-dependence thing - many of you might be asking.

Well, here�s an anonymous posting to a hotline for co-dependents that gives you a good taste of the condition:

�I am so disgusted with myself! I feel like I must be a horrible person, like I am not worth anyone�s time or energy! I feel really lonely! I put other people first in my life, always doing things for them, always helping them out with their problems. I worry about their problems and concerns all the time, and try to help them find the best solutions, and now when I really need them, they all just don�t seem to give a crap about me! And I feel really hurt now, and it feels that no one really seems to care about me on most days. It�s like they don�t want to take time out of their busy day to help me, to make me feel cared for and understood, happy and loved. Does it make me a bad person that I want people to listen to my worries sometimes? Does it make me selfish and bad? I fell like it does. I feel selfish and disgusted with myself! And I need someone to put me first, to listen to me and to help me feel better.�

And here�s an interesting and ironic paradox � when you take full responsibility for taking good care of yourself, and when, in doing so, you focus primarily on the magnificence and the personal touch with which God is taking care of you, inviting others to do the same for themselves, you literally become a �people magnet,� and you will find that you�re not ever alone. People will be clamoring to be around you, seeing the effects of good care. In fact, you will more frequently have to struggle to find solitude than company, in order to maintain that healthy self-care. If instead you insist that others take care of you, and you often insist on taking primary care of them, overlooking the essential role that God plays, you will find that there are few people coming around you and that things can get mighty lonely. Ideally, and most effectively, we are meant to be together, helping each other, through staying primarily focused on our very personal and essential relationship with Him. He is our vital oxygen supply on this �airplane trip called life,� and we must have our own oxygen supply secured before helping another with theirs, and when it�s readily available for all we can go about our business. When we make ourselves too important and needed, out of making ourselves primary and needy, things get very dicey and our tubes can get twisted in a knot.

2010-04-11T06:38:00.003-05:00

It's Not About Me

�My ability to receive and give life and love expands in direct proportion to my understanding of, surrender to, and ability to be with the fact that life and love, my purpose and His truth, really aren't about or centered around me.�

-- Yours Truly

This came to me yesterday in a flash, and I jotted it down as quickly as it arrived, and then I noticed all the areas where it shows up in human life, this invitation to the awareness that things way bigger than my pleasure or even my survival are going on, and that I am not at the epicenter of every movement or event, not by any stretch of overactive imagination. Firstly, in my relationship with myself and God, as indicated in the following two items:

�The purpose of your life is far greater than your own personal fulfillment, your own peace of mind, or even your own happiness. It's far greater than your family, your career, or even your wildest dreams and ambitions. If you want to know why you were placed on this planet, you must begin with God. You were born by His purpose and for His purpose you live.�

-- Rick Warren, simply reflecting the Son

�As Jesus started on his way, a man ran up to him and fell on his knees before him. �Good teacher,� he asked, �what must I do to inherit eternal life?� �Why do you call me good?� Jesus answered. �No one is good�except God alone.��

-- Jesus to the rich young ruler in Mark 10:17-19

And then I noticed it in my relationship with my wife, where I don�t need anything from her in order to see her and love her for who she is. She is more than something I want or someone I want to behave a certain way to make my life better. She is all His, an amazing stroke of pure genius on His part, and I get the privilege to watch Him have His way with her:

�When I say, �I love you,� it's not because I want you for myself or because I am trying to get something from you, all the while thinking I can't have you. In fact, it has nothing to do with me at all. I love who you are, what you do, how you be in the world and how you strive to be. I've seen your kindness and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You are one hell of a woman.�

-- Joss Whedon - Screenwriter, Producer, and Creator of the recent TV Show
�Buffy and the Vampire Slayer� � in a scene where Spike says this to Buffy

And then I saw it in my parenthood, where clearly my children are not mine to stress over and "present" to the world, not just a reflection of my over-stressed parental performance anxiety, but instead are rare gifts to be treasured:

�Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, they belong not to you.�

-- from Kahlil Gibran�s �On Children�

And then I remembered what friendship really is, and that it is not fixing or helping or clinging or coddling, but is purely loving and observing and waiting on Him, together:

�The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing, and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares."

-- Henri Nouwen

And then I remembered what stewardship really is, remembering my days at Johnson & Johnson from 1978 � 1985, including these days while I was getting my MBA and taking Business Ethics when this story went down in late 1982:

�When terrorists laced Tylenol capsules with cyanide in the mid-1980s, the Johnson & Johnson CEO at the time, Jim Burke, understood that his company �Credo� challenged him to always put the needs of customers first. Although J&J was not responsible for the poisoning problem, Burke nevertheless recalled every Tylenol product from the marketplace, risking the company�s financial health to do what Robert Wood Johnson�s vision insisted upon.�

-- William George

And finally, here: let�s step back a moment to gain some startling clarity about and perspective on how big we really are:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YL4cFjmnQT8&feature=related

And then it all sunk in � after all of the above took shape - that He is the amazing Creator of all of it, and He loves me - deeply, personally, and intimately - and that His love for me is not diminished in the least by the fact that He loves every little thing He created, because He is certainly BIG enough for that, and He invites me to actively and enthusiastically participate in HIS BIGNESS (an integrated right brain activity focused on �Oneness� with all that is) vs. wallowing and staying stuck in my smallness (being left only to ruminate and worry about the �needs of my separate identity� in my left brain).

P.S. Being �stuck� in my left brain looks something like this

And then, after completing the above words, this showed up, in perfect harmony, directed by and reflected from Him:

�What might happen if we simply accepted our place as Son reflectors? Such a shift comes so stubbornly, however. We�ve been demanding our way and stamping our feet since infancy. Aren�t we all born with a default drive set on self-centeredness? I want a spouse who makes me happy and coworkers who always ask my opinion. I want weather that suits me and traffic that helps me and a government that serves me. It is all about me. We relate to the advertisement that headlined, �For the man who thinks the world revolves around him.� A prominent actress justified her appearance in a porn magazine by saying, �I wanted to express myself.�

Self-promotion. Self-preservation. Self-centeredness. It�s all about me! They all told us it was, didn�t they? Weren�t we urged to look out for number one? To find our place in the sun? To make a name for ourselves? We thought self-celebration would make us really happy� But how is that working for you? What chaos this philosophy creates. What if a symphony followed such an approach? Can you imagine an orchestra with an �It�s all about me� outlook? Each artist clamoring for self-expression. Tubas blasting nonstop. Percussionists pounding to get attention. The cellist shoving the flutist out of the center-stage chair. The trumpeter standing atop the conductor�s stool tooting his horn. Sheet music disregarded. Conductor ignored. What do you have but an endless tune-up session leading to disaster! Harmony? Hardly. Happiness? Are the musicians happy to be in the group? Not at all. Who enjoys contributing to a cacophony? You don�t. We don�t. We were not made to live this way. But aren�t we guilty of choosing and doing just that?

No wonder our homes are so noisy, businesses so stress-filled, government so cutthroat, and harmony so rare. If you think it�s all about you, and I think it�s all about me, we have no hope for a melody. We�ve chased so many skinny rabbits that we�ve missed the fat one: the God-centered life. What would happen if we took our places and played our parts, trusting the Conductor? If we played the music the Maestro gave us to play? If we made His song our highest priority? Would we see a change in families and relationships. We�d certainly hear a change. Less �Here is what I want!� More �What might God be wanting here?� Knowing that THAT is the way great music occurs.�

-- Max Lucado, in It�s Not About Me

The opposite of the Twelve Step �Ego Prayer� that goes something like this, and is deadly:

Thank You, God, for pulling me out of the swamp of my addiction and restoring me to my self-sufficiency; I got it from here.

is this one, we'll call it the �Spirit�s Prayer� that goes like this, and is life-giving:

Thank You, God, for rescuing me from the pursuit of the life I thought I wanted, that I thought would make me happy. I am so glad that You know better what grows and nourishes and protects me; it�s all Yours from here.

2010-04-10T06:54:00.003-05:00

Comes the Dawn

�For every human problem we can face and name, there is a solution that is understandable, simple, reasonable, orderly, neat, � and dead wrong.�

-- H.L. Mencken

"It is characteristic of all deep human problems that they are not to be approached without some humor and some bewilderment. After this, acting on faith becomes possible, and not before."

-- Freeman John Dyson

�Ask God for help, and very often He will use people, and surprisingly often it will be people we wouldn�t expect it from. Ask people for help, and, if they�re wise, they'll use and rely totally on God (and, very sadly, this is often overlooked or forgotten). Otherwise, they'll be �set up� either to fail you or to be made way too important.�

-- Yours Truly

�Religious leaders, priests, ministers, rabbis, and imams can be admired and revered but also hated and despised. We expect that our spiritual leaders and guides will bring us closer to God through their prayers and teachings and their life experiences and wise words. Therefore, we listen to them and watch their behavior very carefully and often very critically. But precisely because we expect them, often without fully realizing it, to be superhuman and beyond reproach, we are easily disappointed or even feel betrayed when they prove to be just as human as we are. Thus, our unmitigated admiration quickly turns into deep resentment and sometimes unrestrained anger. Let's try to love our leaders, forgive them their faults, and see them simply as courageous brothers and sisters. Let�s stop setting them up to fail us by elevating them above us. Then, after we�ve taken them off the pedestals we put them on, we will enable them, in their equal human brokenness, to lead us closer to the heart of God, which is what we all most desperately need and want.�

-- Henri Nouwen Society, in �Loving Our Spiritual Leaders�

Comes the Dawn

After awhile you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul.
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
And company doesn't mean false security.
And you begin to understand that kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises,
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head held high and your eyes wide open.
With the grace of a wise, seeing adult, not the blind grief of a child.
You learn to build your roads
On today, right under your feet, because tomorrow's ground
Is too uncertain for busy plans, and futures have
A way of falling down in midflight.
After awhile you learn that even sunshine
Burns if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden and decorate
Your own soul, instead of painfully waiting
For someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can not only endure, but thrive,
That you really are strong, beautiful, and enough.
And you really do have tremendous worth.
And you learn and learn ... and you learn,
With every goodbye you learn.

(Veronica A. Shoffstall)
(from Courage to Change: One Day At a Time in Al-Anon, page 63.)

Yes, people are wonderful and beautiful, and yet people can never be enough, ever, and they will leave, and that will hurt you, just as you must leave, and it will certainly hurt others, someday. And these are not callous words of tragedy, but of truth. We must love and honor and help each other, and yet we can never really be enough for each other. This can feel horrible before deeper understanding comes. It is important and life-giving to love and to hurt and to learn, and yet it is just as important not to deify or exalt your lover or your teacher, except, of course, for the only One who is Perfect at both. Experience and growing wisdom about these things delivers joy and peace, right in the midst of our feeble attempts at helping and loving.

2010-04-09T04:56:00.002-05:00

The greatest gift

�Our most painful suffering often comes from those who we expect to love us and those we supposedly love. The relationships between husband and wife, parents and children, brothers and sisters, teachers and students, pastors and parishioners - these are where our deepest wounds occur. Even late in life, yes, even after those who wounded us have long since died, we might still need help to sort out what really happened in these relationships. The great temptation is to keep blaming those who were closest to us for our present condition saying: �You made me who I am now, and I hate who I am.� The greatest challenge is to acknowledge our hurts and claim our true selves as being more than the result of what other people did for or to us. Only when we can claim our God-made selves as the true source of our being will we be free to forgive those who have wounded us and to feel truly forgiven.�

-- Henri Nouwen Society

"When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing, and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares."

-- Henri Nouwen, in The Road to Daybreak; A Spiritual Journey

�To love at all is to be totally vulnerable. Truly love anyone, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket -- safe, dark, motionless, airless -- it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.�

-- C.S. Lewis

"Forgiveness is the name of love practiced among people who love poorly. The hard truth is that all people love poorly. We need to forgive and be forgiven every day, every hour increasingly. That is the great work of love among the fellowship of the weak that is the human family."

-- Henri Nouwen

�When we live at each other's mercy, we had better learn to be merciful. � The world is too dangerous for anything but truth and too small for anything but love.�

-- William Sloane Coffin, Jr.

�The only thing that redeems a gift is the genuine love of the giver.�

-- William Sloane Coffin, Jr.

We are all way too different, and we hurt way too much in way too many ways and for way too many reasons, to ever expect ourselves or each other to �get it right� when it comes to expressing our deepest love. For example, I have discovered in my life experience that the greatest gift ever given to me was a deep and abiding �belief� in me, that I could do it, that I could transcend my own pain and problems with God�s guidance and help, without the interference or intervention of others, to learn to fully be myself and to thrive in that. I have since discovered that what I consider great love and generosity and true blessing from a friend in the form of belief, might be perceived as meaningless by someone who wants me to get involved and solve their problem more actively and/or concretely. And I will not be able to get this right, ever. Actively solving another�s problem is not always the right idea. And believing while doing nothing is not always the right idea. There is no way to always get this right, folks. There will be many missed opportunities, mistakes, oversteps, and under-delivers. All there is, ever, is to be and do what feels right to you in the spirit of love, knowing it will not be enough or will be way too much, and that the spirit of it is more important than the delivery mechanism or quality of performance. Anything, even if the absolute wrong thing, when done in genuine love, is the right thing. And conversely, anything, even if the exact right thing, when done in arrogance or judgment or purely duty or resentment, will be the wrong thing. Loving, and forgiving yourself for your not understanding love enough, and forgiving others for missing your mark, is the key aspect to the human exchange of our greatest gift. �Performing love right� (in your self-righteous assessment) and �expecting it performed right� (in your blind arrogance) in return, is pure folly, producing only mayhem and misunderstanding.

2010-04-08T04:38:00.000-05:00

You gotta want it, and really mean it!

Many people call me every day in some sort of desperate confusion, frustration, loneliness, or sheer terror, but only a very few call with the sincere, passionate, and relentless desire for that which they will often claim to seek. Only a very few are truly committed to discovering and walking in the way of life; most just want short-term pain relief.

I don�t judge people in response to their agonizing pain, and I am there for them completely and for the long-haul, regardless of their motivation or sincerity, for these are my instructions and chosen path, but I know what it takes to acquire, have, and live in the only real Solution to life�s overwhelming conflicts, contradictions, and dilemmas, and it can be daunting, exasperating, and downright intimidating to accept and embrace, before it becomes totally and wondrously liberating and refreshing. It seems we must be close to drowning, desperate to breathe, lungs on fire, and in our last gasp, before we are ready. And that has a perfection to it, like the gasping of a first breath in birth.

�Heartfelt prayer fastens the soul to God.�

-- Julian of Norwich

"The whole point of and the way to come to life is in and through the amazing love letter He has written to us. We have the opportunity to truly live inside this love letter in the midst of a war, if our hearts desire it enough."

-- John Eldredge, in The Sacred Romance

�My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will lead me or where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following Your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the sincere desire to please You does in fact please You. And I hope I have that passionate desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that deep desire. And I know that if I do this You will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust You always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. Faithfully, I will not fear, for You are ever with me, and You will never leave me to face my perils alone.�

-- Thomas Merton, in Thoughts in Solitude

�There is a wonderful story of a young man who sought out a wise, old philosopher. The young man wanted to learn from the sage, so when he found the old man sitting by a lake, he asked, �Sir, I would like to sit at your feet, be your disciple, and learn wisdom from you.� The sage did not reply. Instead, he stood up, approached the young man, and shoved him bodily into the water. Then he jumped in on top of the boy and held his head under water. Taking in water, the lad was surprised and confused. Thoughts swirled in his head. This must be a joke! He will surely let me up in a minute. But as the air escaped in bubbles to the surface and his lungs screamed for oxygen, he suddenly realized this was not a joke! He would soon drown if he did not fight for his life. Arms flaying, he was able to throw the old man off and surface for a gulp of air. But suddenly he was pushed under again. Fear and anger swept over him, and he once again was able to throw off the old man. Screaming, the young man exploded, �You are crazy! I came to learn from you, wanting to be your disciple, and you try to kill me!� Then the sage replied in a soft, but firm voice, �Young man, when you want to learn from me as much as you wanted to stay alive and get out of the water, only then will you be really ready to learn anything.�

Deuteronomy 4:29 states, �if you seek God, you'll be able to find Him if you're serious, looking for Him with your whole heart and soul.� God tells us in Micah 6:8 the manner in which we are to walk with Him: He's already made it plain how to live, what to do, what God is looking for in men and women. It's quite simple: Do what is fair and just to your neighbor, be compassionate and loyal in your love, and don't take yourself too seriously � instead, take God seriously.� God is ready to teach us, to invite us into Him to be with Him and grow, learn, and prosper, to be a true and faithful companion, if we will wholeheartedly desire and seek out such a relationship with everything we are.�

-- Glen Martin, in Drawing Closer

Wake up, Loved One,
Still soaked in the spices of your
three-day sleep.

Stretch into yourself, Firstfruit of a New Eden,
Shaking death from off the budding tendrils
of your fingertips.

Familiar Stranger haunting life�s backroads,
You quicken souls on their way to Emmaus,
And lay an ambush outside Damascus
to rename murderers,
making them holy.

Let your Son-rise breach
The embattled defenses of our hearts,
So that we may witness your awakening�
the miracle of your love
stirring to life within us.

Easter Benediction: Resurrection
by Jayme Yeo of Ecclesia Church
(a prayer for the quickening of our souls
� and to be ambushed by His Spirit)

2010-04-07T05:05:00.003-05:00

Life as Poetry

�The whole journey is my home.�

�Exchange of experiences is creation of life.�

�Breathe-in experiences, breathe-out poetry and music.�
-- remember this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mlI8YsRthG4

�The sources of poetry are in the spirit seeking completeness.�

�The universe is made up of stories and conversations, not of atoms.�

�If there were no poetry on any day in the world, poetry would be invented on that day. For there would be an intolerable hunger for soul-expression.�

�Nourish new beginnings, let us all nourish our beginnings. Not all things are blest, but the seeds of all things are blest. The blessing is actually in the seed. It must break open and die to be born.�

-- all from Muriel Rukeyser

(Known mainly for her political protest poems of the 1930s, Muriel Rukeyser was attacked and criticized throughout her career: by the Left for not being Left enough, and by the Right for being too leftist, by New Critics for writing poems that referred to the social context, by the House Un-American Activities Committee for being a "concealed communist," by Marxists for not believing the party line. She just could not win, it seemed. Man, can I relate! When you put yourself out there openly and unabashedly, you must expect to ruffle some feathers and experience some rejection, or else your heart�ll be totally broken. Your heart will be broken regardless - how much depends on how much you conceal it.)

Here is an example of �life as poetry,� from my own life experience, in the form of a poem that showed up unannounced and unexpected on an all-too-frequent business trip back in 1993, insisting on full expression.

It was a first awareness of the mysterious nature of my journey down the rabbit hole, and I see how sharing it brings me and others life; it is the seed of my earliest conscious co-creation of my life - beautiful and strangely complete in its utter simplicity. This strikes me now, upon retrospection, as the nature of the hole that Alice fell down while chasing the white rabbit, and the mirror that liquefied and dropped down into Neo in the beginning of �The Matrix.�

The Hole in My Heart

The hole in my heart,
Once carefully concealed,
Has burst open,
And I have fallen in. (This was written years before I saw �The Matrix� � 1998 � or �Alice in Wonderland� � 2010.)

The fall leaves me breathless
And frozen in fear -
Not the fear of hitting ground,
But that the fall will never end.

Hands outstretched to help me
I have pushed away.
Don�t rescue me;
I need this.

They say, in dreams of falling,
That if you hit the ground you�re dead.
I�ve been dead.
I must hit the ground to live.

-- Yours Truly, in 1993,
at the first glimpse of awareness of the notion of true freedom:

�� if your first concern is to look after yourself, you'll never find yourself. But if you forget about yourself (being willing to die) and look to me (being willing to truly live), you'll find both yourself and me.�

-- from Matthew 10:39 (The Message)

And, speaking of poetry and of trees, and one�s growing awareness, here�s the poetry and the �tree� that is Jake.

I love being part of this amazing tree that is awakening to discover itself. It is a hard and fascinating discovery, and a fantastic journey, filled with hilarity and horror at every turn, and I am in for the whole ride with him � no editing. Life is delivered as is and needs no artificial �prettying up� by us to protect the little ones. In truth, they are more our protection than we are theirs. If you want to see what I mean, try watching the DVD of �The Road� when it comes out in May. It shows our nonsense and lives pretty accurately. It shows God�s love pretty accurately, too, but only if you�re really looking for it and able to see.

2010-04-06T05:20:00.002-05:00

Freedom or slavery - choose

�Most men don�t want true liberty; they just want a just master.�

-- Martin Buber

�Life without the courage to risk death in order to truly live is a form of slavery.�

-- Seneca

�The moment the slave resolves that he will no longer be a slave, his fetters fall. Freedom and slavery are mental states.�

-- Mahatma Gandhi

�Often we think of discipline and freedom as opposite things, but this is not the case. There is no freedom without discipline or, to put it another way, there is no freedom without faith and constant practice at being free. To play the violin freely, to paint freely, to write freely, to live freely� all these take discipline and relentless practice.�

-- Will Beckingham

�What we make of other people, and what we see in the mirror when we look at ourselves, depends on what we know of the world, what we believe to be possible, what memories we have, and whether are loyalties are to the past, to the present, or the future. Nothing influences our ability to cope with the difficulties of existence so much as the context in which we view them; the more contexts we can see and choose from the less do the difficulties appear to be inevitable and insurmountable. The fact that the world has become fuller than ever of complexity of every kind may suggest at first that it is harder to find a way out of our personal dilemmas, but in reality the more complexities, the more crevices through which we can crawl.�

-- Theodore Zeldin, in An Intimate History of Humanity

Red: [narrating] In 1966, Andy Dufresne escaped from Shawshank prison. All they found of him was a muddy set of prison clothes, a bar of soap, and an old rock hammer, damn near worn down to the nub. I remember thinking it would take a man six hundred years to tunnel through the wall with it. Old Andy did it in less than twenty. Oh, Andy loved geology. I imagine it appealed to his meticulous nature. An ice age here, million years of mountain building there. Geology is the study of pressure and time. That's all it takes really, pressure, and time. That, and a big goddamn poster. Like I said, in prison a man will do most anything to keep his mind occupied. Turns out Andy's favorite hobby was totin' his wall out into the exercise yard, a handful at a time. I guess after Tommy was killed, Andy decided he'd been here just about long enough. Andy did like he was told, buffed those shoes to a high mirror shine. The guards simply didn't notice. Neither did I... I mean, seriously, how often do you really look at a man�s shoes? Andy crawled to freedom through five hundred yards of shit smelling foulness I can't even imagine, or maybe I just don't want to. Five hundred yards... that's the length of five football fields, just shy of half a mile.�

-- from a scene in the movie, �The Shawshank Redemption�

Freedom is an inner state and is not based on our external circumstances. Slavery is a rigid dance of stuck-ness with both the slave and slave-owner equally stuck, equally enslaved, based on fear and the unwillingness to risk death in order to really live. Freedom requires more discipline and practice, more love of and trust in God, and more responsibility (including self-responsibility) than most are willing to commit to, leaving both slave and slave-owner equally committed to their stuck-ness, and with convenient someone�s to blame for it. What a waste of life.

Life is too short to be wastin� complainin� about one�s predicament.

It�s time to either get busy livin� or get busy dyin�.

God�s gift is too precious to waste.

2010-04-05T05:06:00.002-05:00

Genuine happiness is in the roots and trenches of life.

�Trees that grow healthy and tall have deep roots. Great height without great depth is dangerous and short-lived. The greatest spiritual leaders throughout history were all people who could live with public notoriety, influence, and power in a humble way because of their deep spiritual rootedness. Without deep roots we easily let others determine who we are and what we say and do. But as we cling to our popularity, we may lose our true sense of self. Our clinging to the opinion of others reveals how superficial we are. We have little to stand on. We have to be kept alive by adulation and praise. Those who are deeply rooted in the love of God can be genuinely happy in their lives and their work and can both enjoy human praise without being attached to it, as well as be with human criticism without being changed or made miserable by it.�

-- Henri Nouwen Society

�For almost forty years I relied most heavily upon my sense of deductive reasoning and logic, also significantly influenced by the popular appeal of my conclusions. Thankfully, I chose to shift my approach to life and gradually learned to be guided more by my deep-rooted intuitive nature. Today, I consciously operate within 'The Flow' of life. I avoid analyzing and dissecting and then word-smithing to get it right for the masses, at least most of the time, which brings me more happiness and peace than I've ever known.�

-- Chelle Thompson, Editor of Inspiration Line

�I think I began learning long ago that those who are happiest are those who do the most for others, and those who do the most for others always seem most secure in themselves. Caring for others, while understanding (vs. worrying about) ourselves, is the process through which we are most enlivened, fed, and nourished.�

-- Booker T. Washington

�All unhappiness in life comes from the tendency to blame someone else for something bad that�s happening. Happiness comes from encouraging and lifting others up, helping them see and appreciate the good that�s happening.�

-- Brian Tracy

�Happiness consists not in having, but of being, not in acquiring and possessing, but of enjoying and sharing. It is the warm glow of a heart at peace with itself, therefore unconcerned for itself as it serves others.�

-- Norman Vincent Peale

�If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your own estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.�

-- Marcus Aurelius, Roman emperor (121-180)

�The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it�s too low and we reach it.�

-- Michelangelo, Italian Painter, Sculptor, Architect and Poet (1475-1564)

Happiness and pleasure/popularity are not the same thing at all. It is very possible to be happy and not pleased and popular or even smiling, just as it is all-too-common to be very popular and so-called successful and not be happy. Happiness is more an expression of the deep knowledge and fulfillment of one�s purpose - being fully engaged in �the reason I�m here,� right in the midst of the agony and ecstasy of it, and the roots and trenches of it, peaceful and content with the journey in whatever state it�s in at the moment, even if and when its most tumultuous - than it is a momentary response to any particular external circumstance or human/societal reaction. People and the world are like the wind, blowing in out of nowhere one minute, inexplicably gone the next . As the tree you are, your roots better be pretty deep and strong, and your branches flexible and light, to be able to �stay you� in the winds of life, planted firmly in your unique place and station, giving what you�re here to give, always and freely and joyfully.

(Here is the tree that is Jake, created in a 3-rd grade "family tree" project.)

2010-04-04T06:31:00.003-05:00

New Life

A New Life

�Our firm decision is to work from this focused center: One man died for everyone. That puts everyone in the same boat. He included everyone in his death so that everyone could also be included in his life, a resurrection life, a far better life than people ever lived on their own. Because of this decision we don't evaluate people by what they have or how they look. We looked at the Messiah that way once and got it all wrong, as you know. We certainly don't look at him that way anymore. Now we look inside, and what we see is that anyone united with him gets a fresh start for the choosing, is re-created, brand new. The old life is gone; a new life burgeons! Look at it! All this comes from the God who settled the relationship between us and Him, and then called us to settle our relationships with each other. God put the world square with Himself through His son, giving the world a fresh start by offering forgiveness of sins. God has given us the task of telling everyone what He is doing. We're Christ's representatives. God uses us to invite men and women to drop their differences and enter into God's work of making things right between them. We're speaking for Christ himself now: Become friends with God; He's already a friend with you. How? you ask. In Christ. God put the wrong on him who never did anything wrong, so we could be put right with God.�

-- 2 Corinthians 5:14-21 (The Message)

�To live clean and clear every day, each day seizing a new opportunity, even with the conscious knowledge of the shadow of uncertainty, with the knowledge that disaster or tragedy could strike at any time; to be afraid and to know and acknowledge your fear, and still to live creatively and with unstinting love: that is to live with grace.�

-- Peter Henry Abrahams

�Nobody can go back and start again with a brand new beginning (not in a physical sense, at least), but anyone can start today and create a whole new ending (with His �new beginning�).�

-- Maria Robinson

�What you leave behind is not what is captured in print or engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others.�

-- Pericles

What we possess or have been awarded doesn�t really matter; how neatly arranged, organized, and presented our stuff and trophies are doesn�t really matter; how many people feel good about us and our grand achievements or skills or status doesn�t really matter. All that really matters is how much TRUE LIFE springs forth through us and takes root in others, nourishing future generations, and this is only possible through the wellspring of all new life.

Proverbs 16:16-22 (New International Version)

16 How much better to get wisdom than gold,
to choose understanding rather than silver!
17 The highway of the upright avoids evil;
he who guards his way guards his life.
18 Pride goes before destruction,
a haughty spirit before a fall.
19 Better to be lowly in spirit and among the oppressed
than to share plunder with the proud.
20 Whoever gives heed to instruction prospers,
and blessed is he who trusts in the LORD.
21 The wise in heart are called discerning,
and pleasant words promote instruction.
22 Understanding is a fountain of life to those who have it,
but folly brings punishment to fools.

2010-04-03T05:57:00.002-05:00

The importance of receiving

"It takes great generosity to accept another�s generosity."

-- Merle Shain

"Nothing can be given to those who keep their arms crossed and hands closed."

-- African Proverb

"So I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours."

-- Matthew 21:22

"Everything in life is most fundamentally a gift. And you receive it best and you live it best by holding it with very open hands (vs. clenched fists)."

-- Leo O'Donovan

"Each day offers us the gift of being a special occasion if we can simply learn that, as well as giving, it is blessed to receive with grace and a grateful heart."

-- Sarah Ban Breathnach

�It is only through genuinely receiving Him that true giving of myself becomes possible. Otherwise I am only cleverly (and sometimes not so cleverly, but totally transparently) giving in order to get something.�

-- Yours Truly

"Gracious acceptance is an art - an art which most never bother to cultivate. We think that we have to learn how to give, but we forget about accepting things, which can be much harder than giving... Accepting other�s gifts is allowing them to express their deepest feelings for you."

-- Alexander McCall Smith

�Receiving often is much harder than giving. Giving is very important: giving insight, giving hope, giving courage, giving advice, giving support, giving money, and, most of all, giving ourselves. Without giving there is no brotherhood and sisterhood. But receiving is just as important, because by receiving we reveal to the givers that they have gifts to offer. When we say, �Thank you, you gave me hope; thank you, you gave me a reason to live; thank you, you allowed me to realize my dream," we make givers aware of their unique and precious gifts. Sometimes it is only in the eyes of the receivers that givers discover their giftedness.�

-- Henri Nouwen Society

I love to give. I�m not alone in this. It�s a wonderful feeling to see the positive impact of your caring effort, your enthusiastic encouragement, your physical gift of love and/or support. Yes, it�s a truly awesome thing. But I have never seen greater appreciation from another, or felt more humbled and in awe of the power of love, than when I fully and richly received another�s compassion, help, understanding, etc.. It is so beautiful, and so counterintuitive.

And no receiving could be bigger or more life-giving than the full receiving of His precious gift that these three days that we�re right in the middle of commemorate. And no giving on my part could ever be genuine for me without it. Happy Easter, all! What an amazing gift. Here�s hoping that you can fully receive His life-changing gift with great generosity and openness. If you can, it will fill your heart to the overflowing, from which giving becomes effortless and light, with no attachment to any expectations on your part or results �out there,� making both your generous and open receiving and your generous and open giving pure acts of worship.

Open hands can be just another form of prayer.

2010-04-02T05:19:00.002-05:00

Song of emergence

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D_B8-oxUiAc&feature=related

What a breathtaking, stunning, simple little song and beautiful music video to share on Good Friday. It is written and sung during a time of death and resurrection for one stressed-out and struggling human being (her name is Gabriella in the movie), of the inspired (by her choir leader and friend, Daniel, in the background of the photo, who wrote the song just for her, through simply observing her as he was emerging from his own darkness, by listening and �pulling the music down�) and courageous emergence of her soul. It is a song of hope and the unlimited possibility of new life for everyone who faces sadness, hardship, and cruelty. Ultimately it is a song of victory over death, despair, and hopelessness, and it serves as the perfect theme song for the Swedish movie, �As It Is In Heaven� (http://www.amazon.com/Heaven-som-himmelen-Region-DVD/dp/B000ER31LE).

If you get a chance, please watch it over the Easter weekend. It will surely make you cry and celebrate, just like what we�re meant to do at this time of year.

Our Father, who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name.
Thy Kingdom come,
Thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
For Thine is the kingdom,
And the power and the glory,
forever and ever.

Amen

2010-04-01T05:14:00.006-05:00

Prayerful shadow-dance

�It is not my ability, but my awareness of and response to God�s ability, that counts most.�

-- Corrie Ten Boom

�Without fully accepting my own flawed humanity, I can�t fully receive His perfect divinity. Prayer helps me accept me and receive Him.�

-- Yours Truly

�Pray as though everything depended on God. Work as though everything depended on you. As much as possible, do both at the same time.�

-- Saint Augustine

�God loves us the way we are, but way too much to leave us that way. Our prayer is the gateway to our freedom that comes through change and growth.�

-- Leighton Ford

�It is impossible to get exhausted in doing the real work of God. We get exhausted because we try to do what we consider God�s work in our own way, through our own awareness, effort, and power. If you�re getting tired doing it, and you genuinely want it to be of Him, stop and reassess.�

-- Oswald Chambers

�God waits eagerly to respond with new guidance and strength to each little act of our self-awareness, self-control, small disciplines of prayer, feeble searching after Him. And His children shall be filled to bursting if they will only humbly and sincerely hunger and thirst after what He offers freely.�

-- Richard Holloway

It is all available to us, if we simply realize that we can�t create it for ourselves. We live in a world of co-creativity, a dance of daring and delicious denouement, as His sometimes dizzy, often deranged, always totally unpredictable co-authors. We are the darkness of His Story, and the carriers of His Victory flag, but only truly visible as human as the shadow formed by His Light. We so often want to �be� the source of the light � sometimes out of fear of the full depravity of our own darkness, sometimes out of fear of the sheer intensity of His light, often just out of arrogance, ignorance, and neediness � but everything dims and becomes dull when we try. Through our obstinacy and refusal to participate, we are left hiding in the darkness, dying, and through acceptance of our role in His Story, we are brought into the light and included in Him, with full and eternal life. Simple deal, simply delivered. I accept, completely. Let�s dance, Papa and Pardner! Amen.

Shadow and Light Source � Let Them Dance

How does a part of the world leave the world? How does wetness leave water? Don�t try to put out fire by throwing on more fire! Don't wash a wound with blood. No matter how fast you run, your shadow keeps up. Sometimes it's even in front of you! Only full overhead sun diminishes your shadow. But that shadow has been serving you all along. What hurts you, blesses you. Darkness is your candle. Your boundaries are your quest. I could explain this, but it will break the glass cover on your heart, and there's no fixing that. You must have shadow and light source both. Listen, and lay your head under the tree of awe. When from that tree feathers and wings sprout on you, be quieter than a dove. Don't even open your mouth for even a coo.

-- Rumi

2010-03-31T05:28:00.003-05:00

Upside down; inside out

�The Bible�s purpose is not so much to show you how to live a good life. The Bible�s purpose is to show you how God�s grace breaks into your life, sometimes even against your will, and saves you from the darkness and brokenness that otherwise you would never be able to overcome�. Cold religion is �if you obey, then you will be accepted�. But the Gospel is, �if you are absolutely accepted, and sure you�re accepted, only then will you ever begin to choose Him and obey�. And He has come to accept and invite. Those are two utterly different things.�

-- Timothy Keller

�� those who understand the Gospel cannot possibly look down on anyone, since they were saved by sheer grace, not by their perfect doctrine or strong moral character. Another mark of the moral-performance narrative is a constant need to find fault, win arguments, and prove that all opponents are not just mistaken but dishonest sellouts. However, when the Gospel is deeply grasped, our need to win arguments is removed, and our language becomes gracious and accepting. We don�t have to ridicule our opponents (in fact, they are no longer seen as opponents, because there is nothing to oppose), but instead we can engage them respectfully. People who live in the moral-performance narrative use sarcastic, self-righteous putdown humor, or have no sense of humor at all. Lewis speaks of �the unsmiling concentration upon self, which is the mark of hell.� The Gospel, however, creates a gentle sense of irony. We find a lot to laugh at, starting with our own weaknesses. They don�t threaten us anymore because our ultimate worth is not based on our record or ego-based performance.�

-� Timothy Keller

I watch people attempt to destroy themselves every day. And I watch God intervene and save lives every day. And I see the truth of the above in action over a lot of days. It doesn�t fully happen in sound bites or discrete transactions, but in a different dimension altogether � much deeper, more substantial, than is visible on the surface of things or in a snapshot of a life. Just like you don�t really get the vastness of the mind-boggling Love Story that is the Bible in finding a cool verse or a favorite individual story, you don�t get the depth at which God operates in human lives by listening to a person�s struggle in one sitting, or reading an email from them, or even hearing their dramatic �testimony.� Sometimes the visible surface of things or a random time-slice of their lives is grossly misleading and misses the point entirely. You have to wait and watch it all play out, which helps you slow down and explore with eager anticipation and delight, which creates a safe place of acceptance for their own gradual choice of alignment with Him, when it�s time, and the harder choice of surrender and obedience.

When I look at the amazing unfolding story that is my life, and I see the dark and dreary places I had to go to flesh it all out, and to learn, and to cry, and to die, and to laugh, and to sing, I get the full power of the Gospel (because my life shows up in it, bringing it fully alive), and I get a full sense of my own immense value and worth, thanks to Him, and it frees me up to see the beauty and fragile unfolding of each human being, and the awesome tapestry that is �we.�

2010-03-30T05:01:00.006-05:00

Be with what you are and have, with a holy indifference, not looking for comfort in or release from others or the world.

I talk with many single people who desperately want to be married. And I talk with many married people who desperately want out of their marriage or to be single. And all desperately want the condition they don�t have, and therein lies the rub. Our instructions are very simple in this area. We are invited to be content with what we have, to focus on finding the joy in it, in and through Him, knowing that this circumstance is perfectly designed for our spiritual growth, while also waiting with joyful expectancy for the next perfect condition for our ongoing character development and spiritual maturing. And we are not to be seduced into covetousness or desire or envy, believing that some perfect circumstantial condition is what we ultimately need to be happy in life. We are invited into joyful service in the midst of any condition or circumstance, into a holy indifference about the world and its ways and wiles, which are only designed to keep us enslaved to it. Our souls are put in circumstances in order to gain freedom from them in and through Him; all other annoyance, concern, desire, fear is simply distraction and noise.

�Art thou bound unto a wife? Seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? Seek not a wife.�

-- 1 Corinthians 7:27 (American Standard Version)

"It was most desirable, on account of the then perilous days, for people to sit very loose in this world. Considering the distress of those times, the unmarried state was considered best. Notwithstanding, the apostle does not condemn marriage. How opposite are those to the apostle Paul who forbid many to marry, and entangle them with vows to remain single, whether they ought to do so or not! He exhorts all Christians to holy indifference toward the world. As to marital relations; they must not set their hearts on the comforts of the state. As to afflictions; they must not indulge the sorrow of the world: even in sorrow the heart may be joyful. As to worldly enjoyments; here is not their rest. As to worldly employment; those that prosper in trade, and increase in wealth, should hold their possessions as though they held them not. As to all worldly concerns; they must keep the world out of their hearts, that they may not abuse it when they have it in their hands. All worldly things are show; nothing solid. All will be quickly gone. Wise concern about worldly interests is a duty; but to be full of care, to have anxious and perplexing care, is a sin. By this maxim the apostle solves the case whether it were advisable to marry. That condition of life is best for every man, which is best for his soul, and keeps him most clear of the cares and snares of the world. Let us reflect on the spiritual advantages and the physical, mental, and emotional snares of our own condition in life; that we may always strive to enhance and enrich the former and escape as far as possible all injury from the latter."

-- Matthew Henry's Concise Commentary on 1 Corinthians 7:27 in Bible Gateway

So, my joy is not given to me by the comforts of my marriage or the entertainments of my singlehood (just like it is not given to me by the comforts of my professional success or the freedoms of my unemployment). My joy is given to me by my Maker, on the inside of me, in the midst of any circumstance, and it is to be brought to my marriage or singlehood in a free-flowing manner, which might result in a changed condition some future day, and then again it might not. It�s all up to Him, which is always best. And when I try to alter or control my circumstances, driven by my worldly desires (for either more or less of this or that), manipulating people and things to my advantage, putting on a show to either create a result or escape one that I believe is inevitable, I am bound up in misery and despair, as a result of my obstinate refusal to allow and participate in my liberation from my desire and the world�s ways. Seeking circumstantial happiness in the world is crazy-making. Allowing and participating in His joy from within is liberating. Abdicating responsibility for any of it, claiming only victimhood and helplessness, is purely �Calvinesque.�

2010-03-29T05:14:00.005-05:00

Loving message from a real Buber goober

�Solitude is the place of purification.�

�Play is the exultation of the possible.�

�Through the 'Thou' a person becomes 'I'.�

�To be old can be glorious if one has not unlearned how to begin again.�

�The law is not thrust upon man; it rests deep within him, to waken when it�s time.�

�All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveler remains unaware for quite some time.�

�The world is not fully comprehensible, but it is fully embraceable through the embracing of just one of its beings.�

�The atheist staring from his attic window is often nearer to God than the believer caught up in his own false image and knowledge of God.�

�A person cannot approach the divine by reaching beyond the human. To become fully human and to know God from within is what each individual person has been created for.�

�There are three principles in a man's being and life - the principle of thought, the principle of speech, and the principle of action. The origin of all conflict between me and my fellow man is that I rarely say what I really mean, and I often do not do what I say.�

�The narrow ridge is the meeting place of the �We.� This is where man can meet another man in community. And only men who are capable of truly saying 'Thou' to one another can truly say 'We' with one another. If each one guards the narrow ridge within himself and keeps it intact, this meeting can take place.�

�The teacher experiences the pupil's being educated, but the pupil cannot experience the education of the educator. The educator stands at both ends of the common situation, the pupil at only one end. In the moment when the pupil is able to throw himself across and experience from over there, the educative relationship would burst asunder, or change into friendship.�

�I do not accept any absolute formulas for living. No preconceived code can see ahead to everything that can happen in a man's life. As we live, we grow, and our beliefs change. They must change. So I think we should live with this constant discovery. We should be open to this adventure in heightened awareness of living. We should stake our whole existence on our willingness to explore and experience in radical new ways.�

-- all from Martin Buber

First I was this guy - youthful, strong, and dramatic;

now I�m all gray and goofy � a �child-like� fanatic,

just like first I was this guy, all tough, strong, and savior-y,

and now I�m this guy, simply living unwaver-y.

What a life of bold exploring and amazing discovery � especially the learning about and growing awareness that I don�t have to get it right in order to save the day. I can simply let Him get me right, and live and love His way. I have learned to be alone and to enjoy the solitude. I have learned that I have a playful spirit, as does He. I have learned to really see, hear, and be with another. I have learned how to die and begin again, regularly. I have learned how to be with objective truth while honoring my subjectivity. I have learned how to journey without knowing, how to be with mystery and ambiguity, until clarity and divine order show up. I have learned how to embrace life and other people on my journey. I have learned how to respect each person�s journey toward God, and how to find my own access deep inside myself. I have learned the importance of my own integrity � it gives life and relationship and real substance to my life. I have learned how to co-create and hold the space for true community. I have learned how to teach by example, and to let go of needing to be teacher. I have learned to follow only where He leads, and to not need any human direction or intervention, but to welcome fellow sojourners.

2010-03-28T06:05:00.002-05:00

As it is in heaven ...

My therapist and dear friend for over 16 years recommended a movie to me lately, after having received about a dozen movie recommendations from me over the last several years, and I have this to say about that: what a great recommendation, Joan, and thank you so much! People, this is a great and very sweet little movie � especially if you find yourself hurting and longing to feel accepted and loved by God and other people exactly as you are (right, Michael?). Please find it and enjoy, and here�s a wonderful review to get you motivated:

http://thinking-christian.blogspot.com/2008/03/movie-review-as-it-is-in-heaven.html

�It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.�

-- Galatians 5:1(NIV)

�The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.�

-- Galatians 5:6 (NIV)

In the end, when we have had the courage to go completely down the rabbit hole that is our deepest, most hidden selves, and we come out the other side into our full and free destiny, it becomes clear that it is only through that process that we actually meet Christ (for he is the vorpal sword in the movie that sets Alice free), and there is no remaining burden or suffering from what we have learned (or been taught) about him in our youth and over the years, only him and his love, flowing within and through our full, flawed, favored, and fantastically fabulous humanity.

�A true man never frets about his place in the world, but just slides into it by the gravitation of his nature, and swings there as easily as a star.�

-- Edwin Hubbel Chapin

I am here to be a small part of helping people lay down their fear-based overcompensations, revisit their darkest recesses where this unconscious motivation lies, surrender all mental machinations to allow faith to express itself through love, slide into their destiny by the gravitation of their nature, and swing there as easily as a star.

While we�re enjoying ourselves being ourselves, check out these cool dudes singing this little ditty from the old Bruce Willis movie, �Hudson Hawk�:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=95PbVsS66mk&feature=related

2010-03-27T06:03:00.002-05:00

Opening up new possibility is packaged in a new choice.

�In situations where you feel stuck in a dark, spiraling malaise for some prolonged period of time, when you finally acknowledge that you know that you messed up (with no further attempts to avoid, blame, or deny), and you know how you messed up (clear about the nature and impact of your mistake, oversight, wrongdoing, or wrong thinking), and when you know why you messed up (clear about your fundamental �wrong belief� and/or your circumstantial �poor choice� in response to some situation), and you admit it all honestly, openly, without self-condemnation, but with very specific repentance, then anything and everything becomes possible again. Be aware that, as an adult, if you hadn�t messed up in some very specific way (which is never the same as being messed up), you could not and would not be stuck in your particularly unsavory situation. And if you insist that you haven�t, while being stuck, then you are compounding your dilemma by �choosing stuckness� again and again and again, and you will stop when you have suffered enough through your continuing choice, and you will free yourself to choose again, and God will be waiting patiently and cheering for you, inviting you back into His truth about you and about your inherent freedom.�

-- Yours Truly

�You are today where your previous beliefs, perceptions, and chosen feelings, thoughts, and actions have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your newly chosen beliefs, perceptions, feelings, thoughts, and actions take you. In the process, you will become as small as your controlling desire or habit; as great as you dominant aspiration.�

-- James Allen

So, we get to richly "feel" (a beautiful, delicious, earthly human experience), based on our natural human bodies and emotions, and we get to powerfully "create" (a detached, profound, heavenly spiritual experience), based on our supernatural commitments and dreams (having little to do with our bodies and emotions, and that are all about conscious, intelligent, co-creating with God), and we get to relish and savor all of it. What an extravagant feast, for which a little emotional and physical pain is an infinitesimal price. Here's to you dreaming and living your enchanted life to the fullest, where you are co-creating all of it with Him, while basking in His love and leaning on His ability to turn any "stones thrown at you by life or the world� or �inconsistent (with who you are) choices made by you� into rich food and fuel for transformation.

And for a beautiful example of this process, here�s an excerpt from The Shack, by William P. Young, with Mack talking to the �symbol� for the Holy Spirit - the character, Sarayu:

"'I am afraid of emotions,' Mack admitted, a bit perturbed that she seemed to make light of it. 'I don't like how they feel. I've hurt others with them, and I can't trust them at all, it seems. Did you create all of them or only the good ones?'

'Mackenzie.' Sarayu seemed to rise up into the air. He still had a difficult time looking right at her, but with the late afternoon sun reflecting off the water, it was even worse now. 'Emotions are the colors of the soul, its very language; they are all spectacular and incredible. When you don't feel, the world becomes dull and colorless. Just think how The Great Sadness (his 4-year 'stuck' response to his daughter's death, which is only shrinking his own life) reduced the range of color in your life down to monotones and flat grays and blacks.'

'So help me understand them,' pleaded Mack.

'Not much to understand, actually. They just are. They are neither bad nor good; they just exist. Here is something that will help you sort this out in your mind, Mackenzie. Paradigms power perceptions and perceptions power emotions. Most emotions are simply responses to perceptions - what you think is true about a given situation. If your perception is false or based on falsehood, then your emotional response to it will be false and misleading too. So check your perceptions, and beyond that keep checking the truthfulness of your paradigms - what you believe about yourself, other people, and the world. The more you live in the truth, the more your emotions will help you see clearly, vs. distract or impede you. But even then, you don't ever want to trust them more than you trust me.'

Mack allowed his oar to turn in his hands as he let it play in the water movements. 'It sure seems like living in relationship - you know, trusting and talking to you - is a bit more complicated than just following rules.'

'What rules are those, Mackenzie?'

'You know, all the things the Scriptures tell us we should do.'

'Okay ...' she said with some hesitation. 'And what might those be?'

'You know,' he answered sarcastically. 'About doing only good things and avoiding evil, being kind and giving to the poor, reading your Bible, praying, and going to church. Things like that.'

'I see. And how is that working for you?'

He laughed. 'Well, I've never done it very well. I have moments that aren't too bad, but there's always something I'm struggling with, or feeling guilty about. I just figured I needed to try harder, but I find it difficult to sustain that motivation for very long.'

'Mackenzie!' she chided, her words flowing with real affection. 'The Bible doesn't teach you to follow rules. It is a picture of Jesus - who he is and why he is. While words may tell you what God is like and even what He may want from you, you cannot do any of it on your own. Life and true living is in him. My goodness, you didn't think you could live the righteousness of God on your own, did you?'

'Well, I thought so, sorta ...' he said sheepishly. 'But you gotta admit, rules and principles are simpler than relationships.'

'It is true that relationships are a whole lot messier than rules, but rules will never give you answers to the deep questions of your heart, and they will never love you.'

Dipping his hand in the water, he played, watching the patterns his movements made. 'I'm realizing how few answers I have ... to anything, really. You know, you've turned me upside down and inside out or something.'

'Mackenzie, religion is about having the right answers, and some of their answers are right. But I am about the process that takes you to the living answer and once you get to him, he will change you from the inside, and nothing else will matter. There are a lot of smart people who are able to say a lot of right things from their brains because they have been told what the right answers are, but they don't know me at all. So really, how can their answers be right even if they are right, if you understand my drift?' She smiled at her pun. 'So even though they might be right, they could still be wrong.'

'I understand what you're saying. I did that for years in seminary. I had the right answers, sometimes, but I didn't know you. This weekend, sharing life with you has been far more illuminating than any of those answers.'

They continued to move lazily with the current. 'So, will I ever see you again?' he asked hesitantly.

'Of course. You might see me in a piece of art, or music, or silence, or through people, or in Creation, or in your joy and sorrow. My ability to communicate to you is limitless - living and transforming - and it will always be tuned to Papa's goodness and love. And you will hear and see me in the Bible in fresh new ways. Just don't look for rules and principles to be your guide; look for relationship - a way of coming to be with us in order to more effectively be with yourself and others.'

'It still won't be the same as having you sit on the bow of my boat.'

'No, but it will be far better than you've ever known, Mackenzie. And when you finally sleep in this world, we'll have an eternity together, face-to-face.'

And then she was gone. Although he knew that she was not really.

'So please, help me live in the truth every day, with all of my emotions, not getting stuck in any of them' he said out loud.

'Maybe that counts as prayer,' he wondered."

-- William P. Young, in The Shack

2010-03-26T05:08:00.004-05:00

Standing for marriage in the midst of the bloodshed, having already bled out.

A repeat for couples in crisis (whether right before � or so it might seem - or right after divorce), with a full-out call for reconciliation with Him and whatever that brings in our lives and relationships, trusting the reliable goodness of that. We don�t know what we�re doing (isn�t it so obvious). He does knows what He�s doing. And it�s so obvious, yet so often missed, Who should be in the middle of and running our relationships, all the time. Our efforts and knowledge are futile and worthless. Thank God that there�s so much more than technique and tactics available.

TUESDAY, JUNE 24, 2008

To remember, for when the sword flashes ...

"Couples are no longer together just for the re-generation and survival of our species through the bearing of and caring for children (or so it often seemed the case in previous generations), but we have developed and grown to where there are multiple beings being (re-)generated, not just children. Couples are now longing for ongoing interactions at a deeply emotional and spiritual level that supports the emotional healing and ongoing spiritual growth of each individual as well as the partnership as well as the family, where our partner is not there to be dominated, enslaved, navigated, or objectified, but is there to challenge, grow, and stretch our capacity to love, and children are not viewed as unruly little objects to be controlled, managed, or manipulated into compliance with our desires, or moral obligations to be patiently handled as a way of looking good, but are actually welcomed and included in the natural process of life experience and life-long learning and radical loving that their parents are going through, bringing their awareness, curiosity, exuberance, and intensity right into the mix as essential ingredients."

-- Gary Zukav, in Seat of the Soul

"There is, either hidden or flaunted, a sword between the sexes until an entire marriage, over a lifetime together, reconciles them. ... Marriage heals and grows us through great confusion and suffering. Jointly two become fully human, then fully ONE. 'In the image of God created He them.' Thus, by a bizarre paradox, this carnival of sexuality, marked by passionate desire and largely stereotypical roles, leads us out way beyond ourselves and our desires, beyond our respective sexes and gender roles, into a first challenging and then blissful spiritual union."

-- C.S. Lewis, in A Grief Observed

"The whole challenge and the greatest pleasure of marriage is that it is in a state of perpetual crisis that costs all that we are (and needs all that He is) to transcend."

-- "David Copperfield," Chesterton on Dickens, 1911

In spending time with so many couples in impossible crisis, in the midst of their melting down all over the place, or with individuals trying desperately to be in a couple in any way imaginable, it totally amazes and baffles me how many people still think that "relationship" is designed and meant to serve, please, and fulfill YOU as "the individual."

Relationship, especially marriage, which is the total commitment to surrendering to the emotional and spiritual needs of relationship, requires a "letting go" of all personal ego wants (as the driving force, at least) so that you are able to hold onto the rigorous process of being first crushed, then cultivated and grown as a lover, for your benefit and the benefit of another and possibly others (children and family). Relationship is more about you (the ego you) being broken and you (your spiritual self) being re-built than it is about you being rightly taken care of or treated fairly. It is not about fairness or justice at all, but is about unity and wholeness, which requires a breaking down of both you and your partner so that you can be put together and grown together in a particular way, His way, a way that has love and wholeness at the core of it, a way that bears rich spiritual fruit that affects generations, not just more needy bodies and minds caught in an endless spiral of selfishness, frustration, disappointment, and despair.

I am crystal clear that I never even had a glimpse of the meaning of marriage or the purpose of the pure love of God until after the total destruction of my marriage and the devastation of my divorce, and while now being in the process of being crushed again and re-formed every day as a remedial student of marriage, so who am I to get arrogant and haughty about this crazy-making dilemma. Forgive me for what might seem like self-righteousness - it is far from that, more like a deep cry from the depths of my soul. And after having just read C.S. Lewis' A Grief Observed for the 3rd time, I'm clear that he didn't really know love's purpose or fully experience God's design of things until after he lost his Joy to Cancer and completed his mourning. He was dead a few short years after.

This is a very, very short time here, folks. We are mostly just confused and don't know what we're doing. He has things to accomplish through us, for the primary benefit of us and ours. It's best that we lay down our petty complaints and desires and let Him do His thing, let Him have His way with us in our relationships with others. Everybody wins that way. We only know isolated and isolating self-destruction, even after fooling ourselves for decades, if not for an entire lifetime. Yes, we can do it our way. He lets us. We even can get the occasional fleeting illusion of victory, but it lasts about 30 seconds. Our way really sucks, and it bleeds all over the place, producing nothing of lasting value, if we're honest, and there's no reason not to be honest anymore, is there?

When we�ve suffered enough and have accepted our defeat, then and only then are we finally ready to listen and obey, which turns out to be for our own good.

A reading from a wedding I had the privilege to participate in a few weeks back:

Kahlil Gibran on Love

When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams
as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.

Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.

But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.

When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, "I am in the heart of God."
And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

2010-03-25T05:10:00.003-05:00

Cling to the illusion of busyness, or be an insult by dropping out.

�The man who has nothing of real substance to do often will appear the busiest.�

-- French Proverb

�When we get too caught up in busyness, we lose connection with one another - and ourselves.�

-- Jack Kornfield

�When the fire of contemplation, introspection, and prayer goes out, the barrenness of busyness often takes over.�

-- George Carey

�The feeling of being hurried and late all the time is not usually the result of living a full life and having no time. It is, on the contrary, born of a vague fear that we are wasting our life. When we do not do the one thing we know we ought to do, we have no time for anything else - we are the busiest and most desperately lost people in the world.�

-- Eric Hoffer

�It is one thing to decry the rat race...that is the good and honorable work of moralists. It is quite another thing to quit the rat race, to drop out, to refuse to run any further -- that is the work of the bold individualist, the inner revolutionary. It is offensive, because it is totally impolite; it makes the rebuke oddly personal; the individualist calls not just his or her own behavior into question, but mine as well, by the simple act of so radically changing it.�

-- Paul Gruchow

"So, it seems that life is best lived in totally appreciative and 'comfortably conscious disturbance mode' (a paradox - in the form of a creative tension between two seeming contradictions), where we proactively 'slow down and pay attention' - being fully awake and very thankful to be alive, being aware that we are busily and constantly at work destroying ourselves when left to our own unconscious devices, and being on the lookout for God's signals for growth and new life at every turn."

-- Yours Truly, from a journal entry in 2005

�If busyness is an emotional complex, then it's likely that when we are busiest, we are doing the least. We can be extremely active and quite connected and constructive without being busy and hurried - busy without accomplishing anything real - possibly even being destructive. It is possible to be feverishly engaged in some task and yet not be truly focused on the matter at hand at all. The job may be merely a means to accomplish some other unconscious goal: to make money to survive or appear successful, to impress others with our gravitas, or to prove oneself to others through our accomplishments. Our busyness may be a way to avoid difficult emotions, relationships, and thoughts, or we may simply believe that it's important never to waste time. And yet our distracted busyness IS a waste of time, when it distracts us from the most important thing, and this is so prevalent that when someone stops the craziness in their life to deeply genuinely tend to the most important thing, it can feel downright annoying, insulting, maybe even threatening, and therefore dead wrong.�

-- Thomas Moore, in The Re-Enchantment of Everyday Life

"What is the real basis of our security? When we start thinking about that question, we may give many different answers: success, money, friends, property, popularity, family, getting the big and good things done, useful connections, ample insurance, and so on - all about checking the right boxes and getting the right things done, on time and under budget. We may not always think that any of these forms the basis of our security, but our actions or feelings may regularly tell us otherwise, if we slow down enough and pay closer attention to them. When we start losing our money, our friends, or our popularity, or we feel totally out of time to get it all done, our anxiety level often reveals how deeply our sense of security is rooted in these things. A spiritual life is a life in which our security is based not in any created or man-made-up things, attractive and feel-good as they may be, but in God, who is everlasting love and true and lasting peace. We probably will never be completely free from our many attachments to the temporal world, but if we want to live in that world in a truly free and genuinely effective way, we'd better not belong or be a slave to it. "You cannot be the slave both of God and of money" (Luke 16:13). And if we choose such a life of real and true and total focus on Him (even within a church or religious setting), we must be prepared to face daunting resistance.�

-- Henri Nouwen Society, in "The Basis of Our Security"

Yes, folks, we are �sold� what is �good,� by a man-made �machine,� which can often include church and religion, and then we will be scorned, marginalized, or ignored when actually living it beyond what is �socially acceptable� or deemed practical and responsible (I really love that argument). Count on it, and don�t bother complaining about it. It�s wired in. Enjoy and celebrate it. He let us know in no uncertain terms that following him will cost us everything, and will not be deemed polite or popular. Believe it, and bank on it with your whole �payroll.� The return (true life) is certainly worth it.

�And why? Because of Christ himself. Yes, all the things I once thought were so important are gone from my life. Compared to the high privilege of knowing him as my Master, firsthand, everything I once thought I had going for me is insignificant�dog dung. I've dumped it all in the trash so that I could embrace him and be embraced by him. I didn't want some petty, inferior brand of righteousness that comes from keeping a list of (religious or societal) rules when I could get the robust kind that comes from trusting Christ himself�God's righteousness.�

-- Philippians 3:7-9 (The Message)

2010-03-24T04:36:00.003-05:00

The bridge that crosses from the land of naive, casual attraction to mature, committed connection crosses over a rollicking river of rejection.

Everything in life seems to go through three stages, and it is so interesting how totally consistent this is. This rule applies whether it is regarding the three stages of life itself (e.g.; dependence, independence, interdependence), the three stages of vision attainment (initial personally-held vision, personal vision dashed, vision restored and fulfilled by God bigger than could be originally imagined), the three stages of love and marriage (chemistry, the rocky road of self-discovery, blissful union), the three stages of parenthood (initial elation, joy destroyed by either calamity or exhaustion, joy restored and love fulfilled by God bigger than originally dreamed), and even the three stages of faith (na�ve, emotional faith, faith shattered by harsh circumstances, mature, obedient faith). And in each of these cases, there is a bridge that crosses from the second stage to the third that forces one to face, endure, and quite often fully express total rejection of what (and sometimes who) went before, in order to be made new and made even more complete than ever imagined. This was even true of the life of Jesus, as the gift from God he was, in that he came in innocent, fragile beauty, became a powerful teacher and miracle-worker, and was then brutally and completely rejected, before the great gift could be made complete and fully receivable. We don�t like to contemplate overt rejection as a necessary component of anything (given our cultural norms and rules within �polite� � yea right - society), but it so often is, as is further evidenced by the brilliant piece of writing below about the nature of the spiritual life, written by Robert Augustus Masters, and with which I wholeheartedly agree.

And remember, when you feel beat up, fed up, riled up, and ultimately used up, that is not the time to give up, but instead the time to stay and endure and commit to �wait on God with joyful expectancy,� because that is the time when He is about to do something really amazing. What this culture tends to see as the symptoms of the end of things, where it�s time to fix or leave a particular situation, usually only marks the beginning of Kingdom Life.

When Spiritual Life Really Begins

When your honeymoon with spirituality ends -- and it will end, marked by the arrival of STDs (spiritually-transmitted disappointments) -- and when your affair with being spiritually correct and spiritually in-style runs dry, you may say so long to spirituality, but it is a premature goodbye.

Disillusionment with spirituality is not only inevitable but also necessary, so that spirituality might be thoroughly deglamorized. When that disillusionment has had its say--cynicism's couch now being no more than a pain in the butt--and when your fear of re-entering the spiritual no longer frightens or disturbs you, your spiritual life really begins for real.

Most of the popular books will be gone; the ones that remain will feel like old friends you don't tire of revisiting, even if only for a page or two every couple of months. Most of the practices will also be gone; the ones that remain will feel as natural to slip into as your favorite jeans or T-shirt, at ease with both being worn and being worn out. Most of your aspirations to be spiritual will also be gone; the few that remain will feel less like aspirations and more like unforced inhalations...

Whatever disciplines we take on will result not from one aspect of us dominating the rest, but rather from a core recognition of what is needed...Instead of being at war with our weaknesses, we bring them into our heart. Instead of trying to get rid of what we don't like about ourselves, we develop a better relationship to it. Intimacy thus becomes more our path than transcendence.

Seeking will become supplanted by living a deeper life. Questions will still arise, but will ask for something more real than answers. Alignment with the Real will become the ground rather than the goal. Details will cease being just details. Focusing on might be will yield to focusing on what's here now; that is, hope (nostalgia for the future) will be replaced by faith (radical trust in the now)....

Your longing to be fully awakened will still be present, minus the desperation and ambition that once characterized it. Where once you were in a hurry to get it, now you are not rushing or pushing, having accepted the fact that you are in it for the long haul. Then, even when you are off track, you are on track.

Life after spirituality is the beginning of authentic spirituality. No fireworks, no applause, no pats on the back from the important ones, no need to present oneself as someone spiritual. This is the beginning of true nobody-ness. It is not annihilation, but revelation. It is at once bare yet sentient openness, and also the beginning of true individuality.

For every question that arises here, Silence is the answer. Put another way, everything supplies the answer. Nothing is explained, everything is revealed. Beyond knowledge, Wisdom; beyond paradox, Truth; beyond self, Being; beyond everything, Everything....

Life after Spirituality is committed apprenticeship to What-Really-Matters. All that happens is the practicum. Every situation offers the same fundamental opportunity. The teacher is everywhere. There is no freedom from our Freedom. No escape. The implications of this froth then still the mind, awaken and release the body, ground and expose the soul, unraveling all our dreams, breaking us open to what we were born to do and be....

Life after spirituality is a constant dying. Emerging from our own ashes becomes no big deal, but just the way things are in each new moment....

-- Robert Augustus Masters, in his May 2006 newsletter

Yes, a dying life vs. a living death � where one is �ruined forever for normal.�