The importance of receiving

"It takes great generosity to accept another’s generosity."

-- Merle Shain

"Nothing can be given to those who keep their arms crossed and hands closed."

-- African Proverb

"So I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours."

-- Matthew 21:22

"Everything in life is most fundamentally a gift. And you receive it best and you live it best by holding it with very open hands (vs. clenched fists)."

-- Leo O'Donovan

"Each day offers us the gift of being a special occasion if we can simply learn that, as well as giving, it is blessed to receive with grace and a grateful heart."

-- Sarah Ban Breathnach

“It is only through genuinely receiving Him that true giving of myself becomes possible. Otherwise I am only cleverly (and sometimes not so cleverly, but totally transparently) giving in order to get something.”

-- Yours Truly

"Gracious acceptance is an art - an art which most never bother to cultivate. We think that we have to learn how to give, but we forget about accepting things, which can be much harder than giving... Accepting other’s gifts is allowing them to express their deepest feelings for you."

-- Alexander McCall Smith

“Receiving often is much harder than giving. Giving is very important: giving insight, giving hope, giving courage, giving advice, giving support, giving money, and, most of all, giving ourselves. Without giving there is no brotherhood and sisterhood. But receiving is just as important, because by receiving we reveal to the givers that they have gifts to offer. When we say, ‘Thank you, you gave me hope; thank you, you gave me a reason to live; thank you, you allowed me to realize my dream," we make givers aware of their unique and precious gifts. Sometimes it is only in the eyes of the receivers that givers discover their giftedness.”

-- Henri Nouwen Society

I love to give. I’m not alone in this. It’s a wonderful feeling to see the positive impact of your caring effort, your enthusiastic encouragement, your physical gift of love and/or support. Yes, it’s a truly awesome thing. But I have never seen greater appreciation from another, or felt more humbled and in awe of the power of love, than when I fully and richly received another’s compassion, help, understanding, etc.. It is so beautiful, and so counterintuitive.

And no receiving could be bigger or more life-giving than the full receiving of His precious gift that these three days that we’re right in the middle of commemorate. And no giving on my part could ever be genuine for me without it. Happy Easter, all! What an amazing gift. Here’s hoping that you can fully receive His life-changing gift with great generosity and openness. If you can, it will fill your heart to the overflowing, from which giving becomes effortless and light, with no attachment to any expectations on your part or results “out there,” making both your generous and open receiving and your generous and open giving pure acts of worship.



Open hands can be just another form of prayer.

Song of emergence

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D_B8-oxUiAc&feature=related



What a breathtaking, stunning, simple little song and beautiful music video to share on Good Friday. It is written and sung during a time of death and resurrection for one stressed-out and struggling human being (her name is Gabriella in the movie), of the inspired (by her choir leader and friend, Daniel, in the background of the photo, who wrote the song just for her, through simply observing her as he was emerging from his own darkness, by listening and “pulling the music down”) and courageous emergence of her soul. It is a song of hope and the unlimited possibility of new life for everyone who faces sadness, hardship, and cruelty. Ultimately it is a song of victory over death, despair, and hopelessness, and it serves as the perfect theme song for the Swedish movie, “As It Is In Heaven” (http://www.amazon.com/Heaven-som-himmelen-Region-DVD/dp/B000ER31LE).

If you get a chance, please watch it over the Easter weekend. It will surely make you cry and celebrate, just like what we’re meant to do at this time of year.

Our Father, who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name.
Thy Kingdom come,
Thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
For Thine is the kingdom,
And the power and the glory,
forever and ever.

Amen

Prayerful shadow-dance

“It is not my ability, but my awareness of and response to God’s ability, that counts most.”

-- Corrie Ten Boom

“Without fully accepting my own flawed humanity, I can’t fully receive His perfect divinity. Prayer helps me accept me and receive Him.”

-- Yours Truly

“Pray as though everything depended on God. Work as though everything depended on you. As much as possible, do both at the same time.”

-- Saint Augustine

“God loves us the way we are, but way too much to leave us that way. Our prayer is the gateway to our freedom that comes through change and growth.”

-- Leighton Ford

“It is impossible to get exhausted in doing the real work of God. We get exhausted because we try to do what we consider God’s work in our own way, through our own awareness, effort, and power. If you’re getting tired doing it, and you genuinely want it to be of Him, stop and reassess.”

-- Oswald Chambers

“God waits eagerly to respond with new guidance and strength to each little act of our self-awareness, self-control, small disciplines of prayer, feeble searching after Him. And His children shall be filled to bursting if they will only humbly and sincerely hunger and thirst after what He offers freely.”

-- Richard Holloway

It is all available to us, if we simply realize that we can’t create it for ourselves. We live in a world of co-creativity, a dance of daring and delicious denouement, as His sometimes dizzy, often deranged, always totally unpredictable co-authors. We are the darkness of His Story, and the carriers of His Victory flag, but only truly visible as human as the shadow formed by His Light. We so often want to “be” the source of the light – sometimes out of fear of the full depravity of our own darkness, sometimes out of fear of the sheer intensity of His light, often just out of arrogance, ignorance, and neediness – but everything dims and becomes dull when we try. Through our obstinacy and refusal to participate, we are left hiding in the darkness, dying, and through acceptance of our role in His Story, we are brought into the light and included in Him, with full and eternal life. Simple deal, simply delivered. I accept, completely. Let’s dance, Papa and Pardner! Amen.



Shadow and Light Source – Let Them Dance

How does a part of the world leave the world? How does wetness leave water? Don’t try to put out fire by throwing on more fire! Don't wash a wound with blood. No matter how fast you run, your shadow keeps up. Sometimes it's even in front of you! Only full overhead sun diminishes your shadow. But that shadow has been serving you all along. What hurts you, blesses you. Darkness is your candle. Your boundaries are your quest. I could explain this, but it will break the glass cover on your heart, and there's no fixing that. You must have shadow and light source both. Listen, and lay your head under the tree of awe. When from that tree feathers and wings sprout on you, be quieter than a dove. Don't even open your mouth for even a coo.

-- Rumi

Upside down; inside out

“The Bible’s purpose is not so much to show you how to live a good life. The Bible’s purpose is to show you how God’s grace breaks into your life, sometimes even against your will, and saves you from the darkness and brokenness that otherwise you would never be able to overcome…. Cold religion is ‘if you obey, then you will be accepted’. But the Gospel is, ‘if you are absolutely accepted, and sure you’re accepted, only then will you ever begin to choose Him and obey’. And He has come to accept and invite. Those are two utterly different things.”

-- Timothy Keller

“… those who understand the Gospel cannot possibly look down on anyone, since they were saved by sheer grace, not by their perfect doctrine or strong moral character. Another mark of the moral-performance narrative is a constant need to find fault, win arguments, and prove that all opponents are not just mistaken but dishonest sellouts. However, when the Gospel is deeply grasped, our need to win arguments is removed, and our language becomes gracious and accepting. We don’t have to ridicule our opponents (in fact, they are no longer seen as opponents, because there is nothing to oppose), but instead we can engage them respectfully. People who live in the moral-performance narrative use sarcastic, self-righteous putdown humor, or have no sense of humor at all. Lewis speaks of ‘the unsmiling concentration upon self, which is the mark of hell.’ The Gospel, however, creates a gentle sense of irony. We find a lot to laugh at, starting with our own weaknesses. They don’t threaten us anymore because our ultimate worth is not based on our record or ego-based performance.”

-– Timothy Keller

I watch people attempt to destroy themselves every day. And I watch God intervene and save lives every day. And I see the truth of the above in action over a lot of days. It doesn’t fully happen in sound bites or discrete transactions, but in a different dimension altogether – much deeper, more substantial, than is visible on the surface of things or in a snapshot of a life. Just like you don’t really get the vastness of the mind-boggling Love Story that is the Bible in finding a cool verse or a favorite individual story, you don’t get the depth at which God operates in human lives by listening to a person’s struggle in one sitting, or reading an email from them, or even hearing their dramatic “testimony.” Sometimes the visible surface of things or a random time-slice of their lives is grossly misleading and misses the point entirely. You have to wait and watch it all play out, which helps you slow down and explore with eager anticipation and delight, which creates a safe place of acceptance for their own gradual choice of alignment with Him, when it’s time, and the harder choice of surrender and obedience.

When I look at the amazing unfolding story that is my life, and I see the dark and dreary places I had to go to flesh it all out, and to learn, and to cry, and to die, and to laugh, and to sing, I get the full power of the Gospel (because my life shows up in it, bringing it fully alive), and I get a full sense of my own immense value and worth, thanks to Him, and it frees me up to see the beauty and fragile unfolding of each human being, and the awesome tapestry that is “we.”

Be with what you are and have, with a holy indifference, not looking for comfort in or release from others or the world.

I talk with many single people who desperately want to be married. And I talk with many married people who desperately want out of their marriage or to be single. And all desperately want the condition they don’t have, and therein lies the rub. Our instructions are very simple in this area. We are invited to be content with what we have, to focus on finding the joy in it, in and through Him, knowing that this circumstance is perfectly designed for our spiritual growth, while also waiting with joyful expectancy for the next perfect condition for our ongoing character development and spiritual maturing. And we are not to be seduced into covetousness or desire or envy, believing that some perfect circumstantial condition is what we ultimately need to be happy in life. We are invited into joyful service in the midst of any condition or circumstance, into a holy indifference about the world and its ways and wiles, which are only designed to keep us enslaved to it. Our souls are put in circumstances in order to gain freedom from them in and through Him; all other annoyance, concern, desire, fear is simply distraction and noise.


“Art thou bound unto a wife? Seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? Seek not a wife.”

-- 1 Corinthians 7:27 (American Standard Version)


"It was most desirable, on account of the then perilous days, for people to sit very loose in this world. Considering the distress of those times, the unmarried state was considered best. Notwithstanding, the apostle does not condemn marriage. How opposite are those to the apostle Paul who forbid many to marry, and entangle them with vows to remain single, whether they ought to do so or not! He exhorts all Christians to holy indifference toward the world. As to marital relations; they must not set their hearts on the comforts of the state. As to afflictions; they must not indulge the sorrow of the world: even in sorrow the heart may be joyful. As to worldly enjoyments; here is not their rest. As to worldly employment; those that prosper in trade, and increase in wealth, should hold their possessions as though they held them not. As to all worldly concerns; they must keep the world out of their hearts, that they may not abuse it when they have it in their hands. All worldly things are show; nothing solid. All will be quickly gone. Wise concern about worldly interests is a duty; but to be full of care, to have anxious and perplexing care, is a sin. By this maxim the apostle solves the case whether it were advisable to marry. That condition of life is best for every man, which is best for his soul, and keeps him most clear of the cares and snares of the world. Let us reflect on the spiritual advantages and the physical, mental, and emotional snares of our own condition in life; that we may always strive to enhance and enrich the former and escape as far as possible all injury from the latter."

-- Matthew Henry's Concise Commentary on 1 Corinthians 7:27 in Bible Gateway


So, my joy is not given to me by the comforts of my marriage or the entertainments of my singlehood (just like it is not given to me by the comforts of my professional success or the freedoms of my unemployment). My joy is given to me by my Maker, on the inside of me, in the midst of any circumstance, and it is to be brought to my marriage or singlehood in a free-flowing manner, which might result in a changed condition some future day, and then again it might not. It’s all up to Him, which is always best. And when I try to alter or control my circumstances, driven by my worldly desires (for either more or less of this or that), manipulating people and things to my advantage, putting on a show to either create a result or escape one that I believe is inevitable, I am bound up in misery and despair, as a result of my obstinate refusal to allow and participate in my liberation from my desire and the world’s ways. Seeking circumstantial happiness in the world is crazy-making. Allowing and participating in His joy from within is liberating. Abdicating responsibility for any of it, claiming only victimhood and helplessness, is purely “Calvinesque.”

Loving message from a real Buber goober

“Solitude is the place of purification.”

“Play is the exultation of the possible.”

“Through the 'Thou' a person becomes 'I'.”

“To be old can be glorious if one has not unlearned how to begin again.”

“The law is not thrust upon man; it rests deep within him, to waken when it’s time.”

“All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveler remains unaware for quite some time.”

“The world is not fully comprehensible, but it is fully embraceable through the embracing of just one of its beings.”

“The atheist staring from his attic window is often nearer to God than the believer caught up in his own false image and knowledge of God.”

“A person cannot approach the divine by reaching beyond the human. To become fully human and to know God from within is what each individual person has been created for.”

“There are three principles in a man's being and life - the principle of thought, the principle of speech, and the principle of action. The origin of all conflict between me and my fellow man is that I rarely say what I really mean, and I often do not do what I say.”

“The narrow ridge is the meeting place of the ‘We.’ This is where man can meet another man in community. And only men who are capable of truly saying 'Thou' to one another can truly say 'We' with one another. If each one guards the narrow ridge within himself and keeps it intact, this meeting can take place.”

“The teacher experiences the pupil's being educated, but the pupil cannot experience the education of the educator. The educator stands at both ends of the common situation, the pupil at only one end. In the moment when the pupil is able to throw himself across and experience from over there, the educative relationship would burst asunder, or change into friendship.”

“I do not accept any absolute formulas for living. No preconceived code can see ahead to everything that can happen in a man's life. As we live, we grow, and our beliefs change. They must change. So I think we should live with this constant discovery. We should be open to this adventure in heightened awareness of living. We should stake our whole existence on our willingness to explore and experience in radical new ways.”

-- all from Martin Buber

First I was this guy - youthful, strong, and dramatic;



now I’m all gray and goofy – a “child-like” fanatic,



just like first I was this guy, all tough, strong, and savior-y,



and now I’m this guy, simply living unwaver-y.



What a life of bold exploring and amazing discovery – especially the learning about and growing awareness that I don’t have to get it right in order to save the day. I can simply let Him get me right, and live and love His way. I have learned to be alone and to enjoy the solitude. I have learned that I have a playful spirit, as does He. I have learned to really see, hear, and be with another. I have learned how to die and begin again, regularly. I have learned how to be with objective truth while honoring my subjectivity. I have learned how to journey without knowing, how to be with mystery and ambiguity, until clarity and divine order show up. I have learned how to embrace life and other people on my journey. I have learned how to respect each person’s journey toward God, and how to find my own access deep inside myself. I have learned the importance of my own integrity – it gives life and relationship and real substance to my life. I have learned how to co-create and hold the space for true community. I have learned how to teach by example, and to let go of needing to be teacher. I have learned to follow only where He leads, and to not need any human direction or intervention, but to welcome fellow sojourners.

As it is in heaven ...

My therapist and dear friend for over 16 years recommended a movie to me lately, after having received about a dozen movie recommendations from me over the last several years, and I have this to say about that: what a great recommendation, Joan, and thank you so much! People, this is a great and very sweet little movie – especially if you find yourself hurting and longing to feel accepted and loved by God and other people exactly as you are (right, Michael?). Please find it and enjoy, and here’s a wonderful review to get you motivated:

http://thinking-christian.blogspot.com/2008/03/movie-review-as-it-is-in-heaven.html

“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.”

-- Galatians 5:1(NIV)

“The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.”

-- Galatians 5:6 (NIV)

In the end, when we have had the courage to go completely down the rabbit hole that is our deepest, most hidden selves, and we come out the other side into our full and free destiny, it becomes clear that it is only through that process that we actually meet Christ (for he is the vorpal sword in the movie that sets Alice free), and there is no remaining burden or suffering from what we have learned (or been taught) about him in our youth and over the years, only him and his love, flowing within and through our full, flawed, favored, and fantastically fabulous humanity.

“A true man never frets about his place in the world, but just slides into it by the gravitation of his nature, and swings there as easily as a star.”

-- Edwin Hubbel Chapin



I am here to be a small part of helping people lay down their fear-based overcompensations, revisit their darkest recesses where this unconscious motivation lies, surrender all mental machinations to allow faith to express itself through love, slide into their destiny by the gravitation of their nature, and swing there as easily as a star.

While we’re enjoying ourselves being ourselves, check out these cool dudes singing this little ditty from the old Bruce Willis movie, “Hudson Hawk”:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=95PbVsS66mk&feature=related