Looking behind the curtain with Merton

Please read these carefully for their consistent, crystal clear message and unwavering, unified theme. They are not my words, but my heart is spoken through them - through the nature of the selection of these specific writings of Merton, for certain. I feel them as if they were mine.

We are living behind masks in our society - hiding from ourselves and each other while claiming (even exaggerating) the illusion of connection. It is mind-numbing, heart-wrenching, soul-murdering, spirit-draining. We are calmly, quietly, yet relentlessly invited deeper. It is very scary to go there, mind you. So few support it, and for obvious reasons. And yet deeper we must go to truly meet our Creator and each other.

"All men seek peace first of all with themselves. That is necessary, because we do not naturally find rest even in our own being. We have to learn to commune with ourselves before we can communicate with other men and with God. A man who is not at peace with himself necessarily projects his interior fighting into the society of those he lives with, and spreads a contagion of conflict all around him. Even when he tries to do good for and to others his efforts are hopeless, since he does not know how to do good for and to himself. In moments of wildest idealism he may take it into his head to make other people happy: and in doing so he will overwhelm them with his own unhappiness and need to be happy. He seeks to find himself somehow in the work of making others happy. Therefore he throws himself into the work. As a result he gets out of the work all that he puts into it: his own confusion, his own disintegration, his own unhappiness."

-- Thomas Merton, in No Man is an Island

"People who know nothing of God (even if they claim to know a lot about God) and whose lives are actually lived 'centered on themselves,' imagine that they can only find themselves by asserting their own desires and ambitions and appetites in a struggle with the rest of the world. They try to become real by imposing themselves or their beliefs on other people, and by appropriating for themselves some share of the limited supply of created goods and thus emphasizing the difference between themselves and the other men who have less than they, or nothing at all. They can only conceive one way of becoming real: cutting themselves off from other people and building a barrier of contrast and distinction between themselves and other men. They do not know that reality is to be sought not in division and separation but in unity and oneness, for we are ‘members one of another.’"

-- Thomas Merton, in New Seeds of Contemplation

"In our technological society, in which the means of communication and signification have become fabulously versatile, and are at the point of an even more prolific development, thanks to the computer with its inexhaustible memory and its capacity for immediate absorption and organization of facts, the very nature and use of communication itself becomes unconsciously symbolic. Though he now has the capacity to communicate anything, anywhere, instantly, man finds himself with nothing meaningful to say. Not that there are not many things he could communicate, or should attempt to communicate. He should, for instance, be able to meet with his fellow man and discuss ways of building a more peaceful world. He is incapable of this kind of confrontation, however. Instead of this, he has intercontinental ballistic missiles which can deliver nuclear death to tens of millions of people in a few moments. This is the most sophisticated message modern man has, apparently, to convey to his fellow man. It is, of course, a message about himself, his alienation from himself, and his inability to come to terms with life."

-- Thomas Merton, in Love and Living

If you'd like to experience the above quote more intimately and poignantly, check out the movie, "In the Valley Of Elah" (http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1809805319/info)

"Our vocation is not simply to be, but to work together with God in the creation of our own life, our own identity, our own destiny… This means to say that we should not passively exist, but actively participate in His creative freedom - in our own lives, and in the lives of others - by always choosing the truth. To put it better, we are even called to share with God the work of creating the truth of our identity. We can evade this responsibility by playing with masks and worldly obligations, and this pleases us because it can appear at times to be a free and creative way of living. It is quite easy, it seems, to please everyone. But in the long run the cost and the sorrow come very high. To work out our own identity in God, which the Bible calls 'working out our salvation,' is a labor that requires sacrifice and anguish, great risk and many tears. It demands close attention to His reality (vs. the world's) at every moment, and great fidelity to God as He reveals Himself, obscurely, in the mystery of each new situation."

-- Thomas Merton, in New Seeds of Contemplation

"There is a silent self within us whose presence is disturbing precisely because it is so silent: it can’t be spoken. It has to remain silent. To articulate it, to verbalize it, is to tamper with it, and in some ways to destroy it. Now let us frankly face the fact that our culture is one which is geared in many ways to help us evade any need to face this inner, silent self. We live in a state of constant semi-attention to the sound of voices, music, traffic, or the generalized noise of what goes on around us all the time. This keeps us immersed in a flood of racket and words, a diffuse medium in which our consciousness is half diluted: we are not quite ‘thinking,’ not entirely responding, but we are more or less there. We are not fully present and not entirely absent; not fully withdrawn, yet not completely available. It cannot be said that we are really participating in anything and we may, in fact, be half-conscious of our own alienation and resentment. Yet we derive a certain comfort from the vague sense that we are ‘part of’ something – although we are not quite able to define what that something is – and probably wouldn’t want to define it even if we could. We just float along in the general noise of it all, not willing to risk the vulnerability of true connection, so accepting a substitute. Resigned and indifferent, we share semiconsciously in the mindless mind of Muzak (and face of Facebook) and commercials which pass for ‘reality.’"

-- Thomas Merton, in Thomas Merton: Essential Writings

"This then is what it means to seek God perfectly: to withdraw from illusion and pleasure (and artificial connection), from worldly anxieties and frantic desires, from the works that God does not want, from a glory that is only human display (our so-called 'castles in the sand'); to keep my mind free from confusion in order that my liberty may be always at the disposal of His will; to entertain silence in my heart and listen for the voice of God; to cultivate both an intellectual and a spiritual freedom from the images of our created things in order to receive the secret contact of God in His obscure, yet overwhelming love; to luxuriate in the lavish riches of loving all men as myself..."

-- Thomas Merton, in New Seeds of Contemplation

"The Journey Within"

into and through the fog to the light of a new day

and as I saw this photo (above), I remembered this one (below):

Faith determines receptivity which determines availability.

"Are you listening to this? Really listening?"

When they were off by themselves, those who were close to him, along with the Twelve, asked about the stories. He told them, "You've been given insight into God's kingdom—you know how it works. But to those who can't see it yet, everything comes in stories, creating readiness, nudging them toward receptive insight. These are people—

Whose eyes are open but don't see a thing,

Whose ears are open but don't understand a word,

Who avoid making an about-face and getting forgiven."

-- Mark 4:9-12 (The Message)

"Have faith in God," Jesus answered. "I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins."

-- Mark 11:22-25 (NIV)

My faith in divine guidance has expanded and enhanced my receptivity to it, which seems to have expanded its availability to that of "on-request," anytime, anywhere, and it's flowing freely now, in the face of much human noise. I am hearing and speaking truth with passion and purpose, and it's not for my benefit at all (not for the Jim I made, in overcompensation out of fear), therefore it's not mine at all, and I need not feel any attachment to it. After all, He said: "Relax my child; stop chasing the work; I will bring it to you; speak the truth and let it go."

And I have become intimately and very personally aware that my experience of peace in the sharing of the truth is a direct result of my faith in Him and my total acceptance of and completion with others, including institutions, recognizing that it is truly well with my soul - that all is in perfect order, that nothing is missing, that everything is in its place, that there is no human, worldly justice needed to be imposed or inflicted anywhere, that no retribution or revenge needs to be carried out or delivered, that there is no victimhood anywhere for me, that He is in control of everything, and I totally accept His guidance.

Whether I am accepted and/or even understood or not in the human realm - loved or hated by people based on my good performance or lack thereof - I am living the life and experiencing the experiences I have chosen, based on listening for and obeying my simple instructions from Him, and I am learning again and again that He and our relationship are all that really matter, and that with that awareness I can walk through any treacherous acrimony or thunderous applause from human beings without making any of that noise matter or mean very much.

God made it clear to me that there are those who will use me and what I share for all kinds of things, whether misquoting me or taking things they think I said out of context when it suits their own purpose, or attempting to discredit me by attributing things to me that I did not do, mean, say, or even think for a moment, or giving me way too much credit and power in their lives, claiming that I have created or done or made possible things for them that they couldn't (or wouldn't) have done for themselves with their own direct and personal access to Him (which is nonsense), making me way too important in their lives (and Him and themselves not nearly important enough). In other words, people are going to be people, and the more I truly follow the lead of Jesus, the more I will experience how people treated him, remembering that he did not accept their brutality or their praise as right or warranted; he simply looked to His Father for all things, including forgiveness for those who either applauded or blamed, exalted or violated him.

So, there is nothing to deny about me or earn from others to compensate for my deficiencies or "too-much-ness" in their eyes. You simply love me, God, and have totally forgiven me for forgetting that from time to time (while trying to act like a god or pursue an alternate one), freeing me to love and forgive others, as You have instructed, no matter what they are doing to or for me, now and forevermore, and thank You.

Recalling my favorite poem once again -

"If," by Rudyard Kipling:

If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

But make allowance for their doubting too:

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,

Or being hated don't give way to hating,

And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;

If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim,

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

And treat those two impostors just the same:

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken

Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

And stoop and build'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings,

And never breathe a word about your loss:

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

To serve your turn long after they are gone,

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

If all men count with you, but none too much:

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,

Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,

And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

P.S. This poem, "If," written in 1895, at one point became so ever-present that it became like cliche - very much made fun of and "parodied." I once had a gift given to me (by a very proper Brit, mind you) of a paperweight with the words "Spivey Rubbish" engraved on it, and I've had people referred to as having been "Spivey'd" after meeting with me and starting to sound like me, and I realized, when you have something meaningful to say, and you find the courage to keep saying it repeatedly, you can expect all kinds of ridiculous treatment (whether adulation or adversitivity), and none of it means anything except that you've entered the public consciousness, wherein you will be chewed up and spit out, and so be it.

But true life is lived above the fray, anyway, up through the noise to the clear skies above, ... and when I image-searched on this phrase, "Above the Fray," here's what first showed up:

Beautiful!

"In life as in dance, grace glides on blistered feet."

-- Alice Abrams

Life-saving grace and being careful when seeking justice or revenge

Yesterday, I entered and fully enjoyed "a state of mind that sees God in everything," and in so doing felt touched by grace, especially in the form of two young women in their teens who seemed totally willing to be forgiven, and to forgive, and to be used as conduits of God's grace in their broken, heartsick families. It moved me deeply; it reminded me of this photograph called "Blistered Grace;" it inspired me to find more words to express my appreciation, awe, respect, and support of them.

Here's to you, A.J. & E.D.!

"He giveth more grace when the burdens grow greater,

He sendeth more strength when the labors increase;

To added affliction he addeth his mercy,

To multiplied trials, His multiplied peace."

-- Annie Johnson Flint

"The law and concerns about human justice detect sin; grace alone conquers sin."

(The "thermometer vs. thermostat" conversation, girls, remember?)

-- Saint Augustine of Hippo

"While demanding justice or seeking revenge, you might as well dig two graves - one for yourself."

-- Alane Fagin

"A state of mind that sees God in everything is evidence of growth in grace and a pure, thankful heart."

-- Charles G. Finney

"Grace is what God gives us when we don't deserve and mercy is when God doesn't give us what we do deserve."

-- Unknown

"Grace tried is sometimes even better, even more beautiful than grace mastered, for it is glory in its fragile infancy."

-- Samuel Rutherford

"Grace, the opposite of bitter, hurtful unforgiveness, is love that cares and stoops and rescues, beginning with the rescuer."

-- John R. W. Stott

"God appoints our graces to be nurses to other men's weaknesses, and fully realizing this reveals that both are necessary for the other."

-- Henry Ward Beecher

"To be able to live peaceably with hard and perverse persons, or with the disorderly and disoriented, or with such as go totally contrary to us, is a great grace and source of lasting peace."

-- Thomas À Kempis

"I know that to banish anger and bitterness and resentment altogether from one's breast is a most difficult task. It cannot be achieved through pure personal effort. It can only be done by the fully surrendered asking, receiving, and allowing to work of God's forgiveness and grace, making total forgiveness of others the richest blessing, primarily to the one who forgives."

-- Mohandes Gandhi

"Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: 'It is mine to avenge; I will repay,' says the Lord. On the contrary: 'If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.' Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."

-- Romans 12:14-21 (The Message)

Understanding the Baby Elephant Syndrome

"There is a story about elephants and their owners in Africa that goes something like this: Look at an adult elephant; it can easily uproot huge trees with its trunk; it can even knock down a house without much trouble. When an elephant living in captivity is still a baby, it is tied to a tree with a strong rope or chain every night. Because it is the nature of elephants to roam free, the baby elephant instinctively tries with all its might to break the rope or chain in order to do what it naturally does, but it can't. It isn't big or strong enough yet. Realizing its efforts are useless, it finally gives up and stops struggling. This process continues, as the baby elephant tries and fails many times until, at a certain point, it is totally exhausted and frustrated, and after that point it will never try again for the rest of its life. Later, when the elephant is fully grown, it can be tied to a small tree with a thin rope or even a ribbon. If it was aware of its size and strength, it could easily free itself by uprooting the tree or breaking the rope, but because its mind has been conditioned by its prior experiences, it doesn't make the slightest attempt to break free; it has lost its will or perception of its ability to do so. The powerfully gigantic elephant has limited its present abilities by the limitations of its past perception -- hence, the 'Baby Elephant Syndrome.' Human beings are exactly like the elephant except for one thing -- we can actually CHOOSE not to accept the false boundaries and limitations of our past perception."

-- The Baby Elephant Syndrome

"Don't let your past dictate who you are today,
but instead let it be a meaningful part of who
you become tomorrow." -- Anonymous

"The human mind's possibilities are limited by
its 'concept' of its power more than by its
'actual' power." -- Na'Im Akbar, Ph.D.

"Argue for your limitations, and sure enough,
they are yours." -- Richard Bach

It's absolutely amazing to me how many times I've heard people say, "No matter what I do or say, I can't seem to change anything (or even make my response to a person or situation different), because he (or she or the circumstances) won't let me." And the belief that this is so is rigid and rock solid, and the reason this is so is NOT that the statement is actually true, but that the person has had their perception of their fully-grown adult capacities for change, healing, transformation severely limited by old, calcified perceptions of their total powerlessness as children, but there is one bright spot here: as human beings (vs. elephants) THEY CAN LEARN THAT THIS IS SO, and they can CHOOSE DIFFERENTLY!

More is possible than you ever imagined,
and not just breaking free, ... but flying.

Avoiding the domination of lesser things

"The sound shivers through the walls, through the table, through the window frame, and into my finger. These distraction-oholics. These focus-ophobics. Old George Orwell got it backward. Big Brother isn't watching. He's singing and dancing. He's pulling rabbits out of a hat. Big Brother's holding your attention every moment you're awake. He's making sure you're always distracted. He's making sure you're fully absorbed... and this being fed, it's worse than being watched. With the world always filling you, no one has to worry about what's in your mind. With everyone's imagination atrophied, no one will ever be a threat to the world's domination of the human spirit."

-- Chuck Palahniuk, author of Fight Club

"If I distract your attention with something compellingly complex, dangerously dramatic, icky and intriguing, juicy, sexy, and spicy, then I can then slip around your guard and take you out of the game of true life and keep you totally dead. If I only notice what you are interested in and where your attention naturally goes, and then use this to distract you towards or away from things as necessary, making these distractions really interesting by focusing them on what you consider emotional needs and ego-driven goals, then I have you where I want you, wrapped around your own axle, going nowhere."

-- Devil's related wish, in cooperation with "Big Brother"

"If you're not playing a big or meaningful enough game, you'll screw up the game you're playing just to give yourself too much to do to even look."

-- Related human warning

"Father, please grant me the grace to behold Your beauty in all that You have made (including me) and Your guidance in every situation that challenges, confronts, includes, seduces, surrounds, or upsets me, and to not be distracted into a 'domination of lesser things' than the exploration, discovery, and execution of Your will in my life."

-- Relevant and useful prayer in the face of the above

With the economy and other shaky circumstances scaring more and more people every day, the notion of devotedly following instruction, obeying, slowing down to surrender to calling, deeper meaning, and purpose (vs. a fitfull, frenzied focus on mere survival) seems to be even more obscure and unfathomable (making it even more compelling) than when I started living this life over 11 years ago.

As job and money fears mount - and confidence in human structures and systems wanes - media and technology seems to be working overtime to dazzle, delude, and distract, leaving people feeling more communicated to and about than ever before, while less intimately connected than ever before. Our heads are being increasingly fed and filled with garbage in every institutional and technological setting we find ourselves engaged in, leaving little room for deep explorations and profound personal journeys. There seems little patience for mystery at times like these.

And yet the journey boldly continues - undeterred, unmitigated, unrelenting, unshakable, unstoppable, unwavering in its pursuit of love, simplicity, truth, wholeness among equal and deeply connected human beings, celebrating and suffering with each other as brothers and sisters, all over the world. It takes a ruthless, kick-ass determination to break free of this world's stranglehold on the human spirit. You have to dig deep to find that place inside where your defiant scream lives - not so you can use it against other people, but so that you can muster the energy to break free of your own poor choices."

For the only real enemy here is your own
jaded, resigned, thoughtless compliance
and your unconscious submissiveness
to"the domination of lesser things."

Zacchaeus, out on a limb

Faith includes a willingness to look foolish.

"When the storm began to sound, I lost no time in pushing out into the woods to more thoroughly enjoy it. For on such occasions nature always has something rare to show us, and the danger to life and limb is hardly greater than one would experience crouching deprocatingly beneath a roof."

-- John Muir (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Muir)

"It is a standing rebuke against becoming a mere spectator to life, preferring creature comfort to Creator confrontation."

-- Eugene Peterson, talking about John Muir hanging on to the top of a tree in a storm

Zacchaeus (story in Luke 19:1-10: http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke%2019:1-10;&version=65;) was another one of those crazy risk-takers who was willing to look like a fool for just a glimpse of Jesus, let alone having him as a house guest, but he knew his house needed a major cleaning and re-ordering. Not only was Zacchaeus willing to look foolish in his way, so was Jesus himself. After all, he ate and stayed with a tax collector, going against all religious political correctness and tradition of the time. I think God is looking for such courageous, risk-taking "tree-climbers" - people who are willing to do whatever it takes to experience Him - whether climbing trees, crashing parties, yelling out for Him like the blind beggar, sitting and talking with blind beggars, cutting holes in ceilings, jumping out of boats, following stars, loving like there's no tomorrow, especially where it's hard - no, make that impossible. Faith is a willingness to feel, look, and sound foolish attempting to see His face. It is believing in the invisible AND acting on that belief without supporting physical evidence spurring you on. And if you're not willing to look foolish, you're truly being foolish. I wonder if one act of total, faith-led foolishness might be the only thing that separates you from your dreams and your true life.

Isn't it time to go out on a limb for the life you seek - and to possibly get your house put in order? In this day and age, a life of calm, quiet desperation is certainly more dangerous and risky than risking it all to catch one stunning glimpse of what could be (and was promised for free), but you have to be willing to risk everything - including your feeling comfortable, right, safe, and strong - to have it all.

P.S. Could you imagine how many times collectively these three gentlemen (at link below) had to overcome their fear of looking or sounding foolish to get to this level of celebration and mastery of their God-given craft and gift?

http://vodpod.com/watch/1116988-ray-charles-jerry-lee-lewis-fats-domino

What a hilarious, hog-wild, honky-tonkin' hootenanny!!!

Picture loving like this, no matter what!

Paradox: If you are not in danger, then you might be in danger.

"When I am feeling accomplished, carefree, just fine, reasonably safe, secure, stress-free, somewhat successful, and my life feels pretty-well-managed by me, I am usually in gravest danger (in fact, it has been my experience that when there is no 'perceived' danger in my world, then I am unconsciously allowing or even bringing or creating the next 'real' danger, through my ignorance and oblivion), but when I am feeling totally obliterated, overrun, overwhelmed, stretched beyond my human capacity, threatened at every turn, totally lost and out of control, and I am on my knees in tears, asking for His forgiveness, grace, guidance, help, instruction, and protection, I am then and only then totally safe from any real danger."


-- a man's observations of himself - Yours Truly, from my real life experience over the years


"Dad, when there is 'enough' in your world, and you have things under your control, you tend to disappear from view, and when there's 'not enough' and you are really struggling, you tend to show up and be visible, ... and I prefer the latter."


-- a son's observation of his father - paraphrasing a statement from my oldest son, Jim, back in 2002, when he was only 22

My life used to be about striving and struggling to get to "manageability" and "success," which I achieved often once I hit my mid-twenties, when it was clear that I had outstanding "potential" for major success in the world, and I would focus my energies and sizable talents on problems and scenarios that were pint-sized, if not puny, in their complexity and importance (like, for example, the next bonus, or cool, exciting business deal, or promotion, or sexy, exotic vacation), compared to today's depth, type, and variety of issue. Today, my everyday choices, commitments, problems, and relationships obliterate and totally overwhelm me, and in that unsolvable overwhelm, I find the reserves of perseverance and stamina I didn't know I had, and the access to Him and His grace and guidance I didn't know I had, and this has turned out to be the only real, safe place to hang out - not where things are fine and OK, but at the end of my rope.

When I'm playing it cool, I act quite the fool,

and am soon to be knocked down and dragged back to school.
At the end of my rope, I'm no longer the dope,

and there's nothing but surrendering, while filled with hope.

It's hard to get myself in very
much trouble in this position.

But in this one - while cool,
calm, and totally collected
- I am just a freakin'
"disaster waiting to happen."

P.S. One last and very important point - there's a big difference between being at the end of your rope as a "choice" and being at the end of your rope as a "victim." The first, which involves seeing worldy reality (that we are all there in our flesh, really), is both empowering and liberating. The latter, which involves denying spiritual reality (that we are all equally capable and competent, due to our "equal access" to Him), can be both disempowering and enslaving.

"To seek safety outside of God's will puts us in danger;
to live in it makes us both safe and dangerous."

-- Erwin McManus