Power vs. Force

This is the last and longest piece of this incredible book that I'd like to share with you:

"On examination, we'll see that power arises from meaning. It has to do with motive, and it has to do with principle. Power is always associated with that which supports the significance of life itself. It appeals to that part of human nature that we call noble - in contrast to force, which appeals to that which we call crass. Power appeals to what uplifts, dignifies, and ennobles. Force must always be justified, whereas power requires no justification. Force is associated with the partial, power with the whole.

If we analyze the nature of force, it becomes readily apparent why it must always succumb to power; this is in accordance with one of the basic laws of physics. Because force automatically creates counter-force, its effect is limited by definition. We can say that force is a movement - it goes from here to there (or tries to) against opposition. Power, on the other hand, takes its position and is still. It's like a standing field that doesn't move. Gravity itself, for instance, doesn't move against anything. Its power moves all objects within its field, but the gravity field itself does not move.

Force always moves against something, whereas power doesn't move against anything at all. Force is incomplete and therefore has to be fed energy constantly. Power is total and complete in itself and requires nothing from outside. It makes no demands; it has no needs. Because force has an insatiable appetite, it constantly consumes. Power, in contrast, energizes, gives forth, supplies, and supports. Power gives life and energy - force takes these away. We notice that power is asociated with compassion and makes us feel positively about ourselves. Force is associated with judgment and makes us feel poorly about ourselves.

Force always creates counterforce; its effect is to polarize rather than unify. Polarization always implies conflict; its cost, therefore, is always high. Because force incites polarization, it inevitably produces a win/lose dichotomy; and because somebody always loses, enemies are created. Constantly faced with enemies, force requires constant defense. Defensiveness is invariably costly, whether in the marketplace, politics, church, or international affairs.

In looking for the source of power, we've noted that it's associated with meaning, and this meaning has to do with the significance of life itself. Force is concrete, literal, and arguable. It requires proof and support. The sources of power, however, are inarguable and aren't subject to proof. The self-evident isn't arguable. That instilling health is more important than curing disease, that creating life is more important than preventing death, that bestowing honor is preferable to dishonoring, that faith and trust are preferable to doubt and cynicism, that the constructive is preferable to the destructive - all are self-evident statements not subject to proof. Ultimately, the only thing we can say about a source of power is that it just is.

Every civilization is characterized by native principles. If the principles of a civilization are noble, it succeeds; if they turn selfish, it falls. As a term, principles may sound abstract, but the consequences of principle are quite concrete. If we examine principles, we'll see that they reside in an invisible realm within consciousness itself. Although we can point out examples of honesty in the world, honesty itself as an organizing principle central to civilization does not independently exist anywhere in the external world. True power, then, emanates from consciousness itself; what we see is a visible manifestation of the invisible."

Secrets to "the successful life"

"He who stops becoming better stops being good."
-- Oliver Cromwell

"Never complain about that which you allow to continue."
-- Mike Murdock

"We have a sacred responsibility to put our gifts to work."
-- Les Brown

"Remember, it's the reasonable people who work for the dreamers."
-- Darnell Self

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit."
-- Aristotle

"Being rich is having money for yourself; being wealthy is having time for others."
-- Stephen Swid

"There is only one true success: To be able to spend every day in your own way."
-- Christopher Morley

"Success is when you have what you want. Fulfillment is when you love what you have."
-- Michael S. Clouse

"Life is too short and too wonderful to waste time doing things you really don't want to be doing."
-- Bruce Isaacs

"You will never find time for anything. If you want time for something that really matters, you must make it."
-- Charles Bixton

"The man who does not shrink from self-crucifixion can never fail to accomplish the object upon which his heart is set."
-- James Allen

"If you're not playing a big enough game, you'll screw up the game you're playing just to give yourself something to do."
-- Anonymous

"Cherish your visions and your dreams, as they are the children of your soul; the blueprint of your ultimate achievements."
-- Napoleon Hill

A "baker's dozen" of amazing quotes - so fun to collect, so amazing to ponder, such powerful wisdom to live by. Please read carefully.

Real love

"Love until it hurts. Real love is always painful, because it involves surrendering one's ego for the benefit of another; then and only then is it real and pure. And I have discovered the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no more hurt, only more love."

-- Mother Teresa

This is a key in my life - loving until it hurts, and then loving some more. So, I came home last night, after a whole day of loving until it hurts, especially in my lower back, and I found a whole lotta loving waiting for me, in the form of this combined Father's Day and 50th birthday present - a top-of-the-line, brand-spanking-new, Panasonic EP3202 Real Pro Massage Chair. My baby just knew that I needed this particular gift RIGHT NOW, instead of waiting for either of the big occasions coming up over the next several weeks, and I am sooooooooo thankful. I walked in the door, and there were Anne, Jake, and Heather sitting in the chair with big smiles on their faces yelling "Surprise!" They quickly and very excitedly sat me down, pushed some buttons, and I spent a good solid hour "feeling the love" all over my body. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh........

We reap what we sow.

"Simple kindness to one's self and all that lives is the most powerful transformational force of all. It produces no backlash, has no downside, and never leads to loss or despair. It increases one's own true power without exacting any toll. But to reach maximum power, such kindness can permit no exceptions, nor can it be practiced with the expectation of any personal reward. In a world where 'like goes to like' and 'birds of a feather flock together,' we attract to us that which we emanate."

-- David Hawkins

“As you think in your heart, so are you.” -- Proverbs 23:7

“As you sow, so shall you reap.” -- Galatians 6:7

"Be it done unto you as you believe." -- Jesus

I spent the bulk of the day yesterday working on a Life Plan with a woman who gave me this last beautiful line above as her favorite Bible verse, and I built the whole message around it. And, interestingly enough, upon reflection together in yesterday's rainstorms, we came up with many examples of how following this principle works, and how ignoring it doesn't. So simple. What do you emanate and truly believe?You really do have a choice. Unless, of course, you believe otherwise.

On finding the stillness to be a mirror

"In the right light, at the right time, in the right frame of mind, everything and everyone is extraordinary."

– Aaron Rose

"Truly loving means letting go of all expectations. It means full acceptance, even celebration, of another’s 'personhood'."

-- Karen Casey

"Only in quiet waters do things mirror themselves undistorted. Only in a quiet mind is adequate perception of others and the world."

-- Hans Margolius

"Happiness consists not of having, but of being, not of possessing, but of enjoying. It is the soft, warm glow of a heart at peace with itself."

-- Norman Vincent Peale

"Once we begin to learn to accept the incredible goodness of life, we naturally want to share it as well, realizing that as we give of ourselves, we make space for more to flow into us."

-- Shakti Gawain

To be an effective Life Coach requires doing my work inside of my own life first - to handle whatever there is in the way of me being accepting, clear, inviting, loving, peaceful, present, quiet - so that I am fully able to see the magnificence of another and mirror it back to them without distortion. The mirror's job is to reflect what it sees with clarity and generosity; it is then up to the person standing before it to choose what to do with what is now clearly visible. Mirrors do not change, correct, criticize, fix, judge, measure, or mold; they just reflect. They're only as good as their Maker makes them, and are only effective as tools in the hands of a committed, disciplined, and honest user.

Let's truly "wake up" every day.

By the way, I forgot to offer this little P.S. after yesterday's message. If you "long-time married guys" out there would like to pick up a great little book on what "waking up" and "making the loving choice" looks like after years of marriage to a wife you really love, even if you've forgotten how to show it in ways that really matter to her, then be sure to pick up The Wedding, by Nicholas Sparks - a great and very quick read! But also be aware, the lead character sets the bar really high for us "mere mortals." :-) And speaking of "waking up":

"In many ways, the illness [Parkinson's disease] has been a blessing to me. It got me out of my own showbiz garbage and really made me realize that there are much bigger things in life."

Michael J. Fox

"We are often attached to our knowledge, habits, and prejudices, but so often 'what we know' is the greatest obstacle to our awakening."

Thich Nhat Hanh

"One of the most severely limiting beliefs that many of us have is that the person we were yesterday is the person we have to be today."

Richard Carlson

Rise and shine everyone!

Love is a choice; be generous, both in giving and receiving.

"Love is a choice you make from moment to moment. ... The more anger, hurt, or resentment towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present."

-- Barbara De Angelis

"Those who give you a serpent when you ask for a fish, may have nothing but serpents to give at this time. It is then you can consider it generosity on their part."

-- Kahlil Gibran

"Those whose perception of others is truly unconditionally loving generally receive unconditional love, enough for themselves and to give to others, and surely enough to overcome life's small hurts and disappointments. Everyone, at any given time, is doing the very best that they can with what they have. When people learn better, they do better. Be a teacher of love."

-- Unknown

I received an email from a client/friend yesterday expressing ongoing frustration with a husband that is demanding more of her than she is ready or willing to give right now. It is a common story in the midst of marital struggle and re-invention, and one not to panic over. I offer this message in honor of them both and as a reminder to us all. Love is NOT primarily a feeling or a response to other's actions; it is a moment-to-moment choice, and that choice we make in each moment does more to determine what we consistently receive than all of our lifetime's hopes and prayers for love combined. When we, or they, are reluctant to choose being loving, then we, or they, are usually stuck in an unresolved past. A committed, generous, healing heart, when confronted with another's choice not to be loving, will see it for what it is and love anyway, knowing that it is a crucial, teachable moment, and that it is indeed possible to love another even when they are being unlovable, which is the most powerful invitation possible for them to choose again. Trust the System. We will always reap what we sow.