Trip update

All:

I've gotten so many nice messages of encouragement and support from all of you. Thank you so much. This trip is going very well. I am doing everything there is for me to do here, and it is so wonderful to see everyone, especially my Dad and my boys. And Anne and Jake and our new baby in utero are doing great back in Houston, and I miss being with them. I am going to stay focused here over the next few days, knowing that all is well in my life and in my relationships everywhere. If you're waiting for something from me, I will be back in action on Monday. Otherwise, be well and have a great weekend.

Love,

Jim

A prayer for my trip

"In repentance and rest you shall be saved,
In quietness and trust is your strength."

---- Isaiah 30:15 (NASB)

I am leaving this morning for the East Coast to see my Dad and my boys. I am going alone, leaving behind my 8-month pregnant wife, and my almost 3-year-old little boy, both of whom need me right now. In this time of my father's illness and my new child's imminent birth, I fully realize my shortcomings, as a husband, as a father, as a son, and as a man, and I sincerely repent. Learning to love, especially those who love you, is a life-long journey, and I have still only just begun to scratch the surface. I am resting in my quietness now and on the plane, knowing at some level that I can't understand or verbalize that I am doing the right thing taking this trip right now, and I am counting on God's strength to get all of us through it. God, please bring me home safely on Sunday filled up with the love of my Dad, my family, and my sons, and ready to pour all of it and more into Anne, Jake, and our new little one as he or she enters this world. What an amazing blessing this is.

Amen.

“Occasionally in life there are moments of unutterable depth of meaning and purpose which cannot be completely explained by these symbols we call words. Their meanings can only be articulated by the inaudible language of the heart.”

-- Martin Luther King, Jr.

It's in your actions, not your words.

"Our true religion is the life we lead, not the creed we profess."

-- Louis Nizer

"Live your questions now, and perhaps without even knowing it, you will live into your answers."

-- Rainer Maria Rilke

I was working with a man last week who lives a life of profound service, and it's pretty clear to me what religion his life says he is. He moves through the world with a powerful faith and a great clarity of purpose. During the inquiry into his spiritual life, a profound question arose for both of us: "What fundamental questions is your life answering?" Isn't it true that the really big questions in life are so much bigger than words can possibly do justice? Many of us spend a lot of time professing our spiritual beliefs in words and then living something a little bit (or a whole lot) different, not realizing that our actions are what truly define us. So, as you go through your day today, ask yourself what your actions are saying about what matters most to you and what questions those actions are answering.

Don't be afraid to play with the dolphins.

"Great spirits always find violent opposition from mediocre minds. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices and conventional wisdom, but instead honestly and courageously uses his own innate intelligence."

-- Albert Einstein

Regardless of what "Big Al" really meant when he said this, I am not intending it as a blanket categorization or judgment of people; it is instead a real-time distinction between spirit (linking us to God's love) and mind (linking us to fear in the physical world). This "opposition" can occur between groups of people in a given time and place - those allowing their spirits to run the show vs. those allowing their brains (or egos) to control things - but more often it plays out inside each one of us in the internal conflict we all face every day, and in every moment. We get to choose our response, based on our spiritual awareness in that moment or our sometimes overwhelming habitual desire for safety, and the choice can be made more challenging when many in our community are choosing safety more often than not. Great spirits often reach out and find each other to neutralize or eliminate that fear dynamic and to support each other in forming new habits of healthy choice.

To reinforce the point on a lighter note:

"Man has always assumed that he is more intelligent than the dolphin, because he has achieved so much more throughout history... the wheel, New York, wars, and so on, whilst all the dolphins ever did was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely the dolphins know themselves to be more intelligent than man for precisely the same reason."

-- Douglas Adams, in The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy

In support of mothers

I work with a number of very busy Moms out there, and with plenty of husbands who really care about their wives-who-are-also-Moms, and I came across this piece of writing in a pile of reading material on my wife's desk that really captures our shared belief about how important it is for Moms to take care of themselves first. Consider this a powerful affirmation of all of you. Motherhood is the single most important and most difficult job in the world, and yet it is the least acknowledged, the least appreciated, and the most undervalued one in the marketplace, and the image of home-bound, self-sacrificing, "slave-Mom" is one that many of us grew up with, and it is not healthy for anyone. So, for all you great Moms out there, who also know that you are great women first, this is for you, and this includes you, Anne. It is especially for you, because I know how much all of this means to you, especially with our new little baby almost here. And to all you men out there who live with these women, let's stand up and salute them, and thank them for all that they do, and support them in doing more for themselves.

MOTHERING MYSELF (by Nancy McBrine Sheehan)

In a society preoccupied with how to best raise a child
I'm finding a need to mesh what's best for my children with what's necessary to be a well-balanced mother.
I'm recognizing that ceaseless giving translates into giving yourself away.
And, when you give yourself away, you're not a healthy mother, and you're not a healthy self.

So, now I'm learning to be a woman first and a mother second.
I'm learning to experience my own emotions
Without robbing my children of their individual dignity by feeling their emotions too.
I'm learning that a healthy child will have his own set of emotions and characteristics that are his alone.
And very different from mine.
I'm learning the importance of honest exchanges of feelings, because pretenses don't fool children,
They know their mother better than she knows herself.

I'm learning that no one overcomes her past unless she confronts it.
Otherwise, her children will absorb exactly what she's attempting to overcome.
I'm learning that words of wisdom fall on deaf ears if my actions contradict them.
Children tend to be better impersonators than listeners.
I'm learning that life is often filled with just as much sadness and pain as happiness and pleasure.
And allowing ourselves to feel everything life has to offer is an indication of fulfillment.
I'm learning that fulfillment can't be attained through giving myself away,
But through giving to myself and sharing with others.

I'm learning that the best way to teach my children to live a fulfilling life is not by sacrificing my life.
It's through living a fulfilling life myself.
I'm trying to teach my children that I have a lot to learn,
Because I'm learning that letting go of them
Is the best way of holding on.