The lifelong process of maturing

“The rate at which a person matures is directly proportional to the embarrassment he can tolerate.”

-- Doug Engelbart

I heard from a dear friend and enthusiastic client yesterday that he really appreciates my helping him through some important discoveries in his life - discoveries that are having him feel more like a man every day. These discoveries tend to be so significant and startling at first that one might be easily lured into thinking that on the other side of them all is peaceful and calm. But they tend to only open a door to a lifelong process of discovery, where the more we learn, the more we discover there is to learn. It is a humbling process, and if reaching some finish line is what you seek, you might as well not bother. Einstein was clear that when he followed a path of discovery to its furthest reaches, he discovered God every time. Therefore, it only makes sense to seek such ongoing discovery if God is what you seek. In S.C.'s case, I know that this is so, so I invited him to strap in and enjoy the ride.

A perfectly timed repeat

"To live for results would be to sentence myself to continuous frustration.
My only sure reward is in my actions and not from them."

-- Hugh Prather

On Wednesday, while on the golf course with three great men, we drifted into a marvelous conversation about doing things out of "need" vs. "want," on commitment without attachment to results, on doing God's work with joy vs. stress, and this quote from a few years ago showed up to hit the mark perfectly, especially as S.D. kicks off his Life Plan on Sunday. My best to all three of you, and I hope you'll "tolerate" my golf game in the future for other similar chats.

And for those of you wondering about life on the farm, it is both idyllic and tranquil. I just did a sunrise run that put me over the top at 87 miles, against my May commitment of 85. I will break 90 easily tomorrow, and I get to do it while looking out on the most beautiful pasture land imaginable. I have often visualized this particular running venue while running in much less inviting ones all over the country over the last several years. This is the best. My love to you all.

Replenishment

"The more faithfully you listen to the voice within you, the better you will hear what is sounding outside you. Only he who listens can speak (with any impact)."

-- Dag Hammarskold

I'm off to replenish with Anne and Jake to our dear friends' farm in Florida, Forever Spring, for the next 5 days. This is the single place where, more than anywhere else on Earth, I go to listen to the voice within me, which improves my hearing of all things, which improves both my listening and my speaking when I return. It is very quiet down on the farm, and the only noises tend to be natural and soft. When I am still - surrounded only by nature - I hear, feel, see, smell, and experience life's beautiful simplicity much deeper than usual, revelling in the feeling of being alive, and then I can return to the noisy world feeling refreshed and invigorated. I am so ready for this trip. And I am so thankful for everything, both for those of you with whom I work in the front-line trenches of life's toughest struggles, often amidst deafening noise, and for those of you who help me prepare and take care of myself such that I am able to do such work (especially to you right now, B. & C., for our very timely invitation). It's all really good.

P.S. Jake has been so excited about going on a BIIIIIIIIIIIIG aiplane, and it's a connecting flight to Jacksonville, so that adds a little extra excitement. It's been almost exactly a year now, so he probably won't remember the place, but the coolest thing with Jake is that he acts like it's brand new even if he had been there yesterday. I get that experience with our "bagelatte" at our local coffee shop almost every day now for over two years, and we'll have it again this morning before we head to the airport. But this - when he sees the ducks and geese scattering as we pull into the long drive leading up to the house, and the dogs running up to the car as we park, and the horses lined up to inspect us at the fences - is going to be a special treat.

The awakening of a powerhouse

I met with a powerhouse woman yesterday who has chosen to come fully alive, to fully blossom into God's plan for her life, because she knows it is now her time to do so. We spent the day together capturing her "mental blueprint" for the design of that "blossoming," and we spoke of the clear reasons for having it written down and then practiced through relevant and meaningful assignments, and then these three quotes showed up in perfect harmony and synchronicity:

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."

-- Anais Nin

"Visualize the life you know is yours. See it, feel it, believe in it. Make your mental blueprint, and begin to build."

-- Robert Collier

"I hear and I forget.

I see and I believe.

I do and I understand."

—Confucius (551-479 BC)

For good measure, and out of my deep respect for her as a faithful Christian woman, I also did a search of the Bible for "awakenings" and for "vision" and there was the following perfect insight and context from Romans and from Proverbs:

Romans 13:11 And that, knowing the time, that now it is high time to awake out of our sleep: for now is our salvation nearer than when we believed.

(Paul encourages us to wake up, our salvation being nearer than we could possibly imagine.)

Proverbs 29:18 Where there is no "vision," the people perish; but he that keepeth the law, happy is he.

(King Solomon was speaking from a deep spiritual level in this verse. What does this word "vision" mean? In this case, it means Divine light, an anointed revelation from God. It means a special God-given vision as to a drive and purpose for one's life. We are given the wisdom on how to achieve it as we go through the various trials of our lives. They are required to help us grow and understand.)

It all just fits, wouldn't you agree, M.M.? The pieces fit together like the beautiful puzzle that is your life. And what an honor it is to support you in your awakening to your full purpose here. And it is not an awakening so as to "become" this powerhouse. It is an awakening to the powerhouse you already are - that you were born and perfectly prepared to be.

To be present and authentic

"We are students of words: we are shut up in schools and colleges and recitation-rooms for decades, and come out at last with a bag of wind, a memory of words, and do not know a thing. Men grind and grind in the mill of truism, and nothing comes out but what was put in. But the moment they desert that tradition for a spontaneous thought or an authentic feeling, then poetry, wit, hope, virtue, learning, anecdote, all flower within them."

-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

None of the stuff I "remember" about how to do it in this life serves me in this moment. The books I've read, the courses I've taken, the speeches I've heard were all very interesting at the time, but they're of no use to me now. What serves me now is "showing up" in each present moment - feeling what I feel, thinking what I "choose" to think, acting out of that choice. I have created a way to experience each day from the inside out - starting with prayer, then with reviewing my "vision," then with reading and writing (both for me and to you), then with my Jake time (to see the world through the eyes of my child), then with whatever else shows up. By the time I kiss Anne good morning, I have set the tone for how it "might be" for that day. Then I do battle against all that I "remember," so that I might keep my feet set firmly on the path - to keep "poetry, wit, hope, virtue, learning, and anecdote flowering within me." Thank God I have the best coaches in my wife, sons, and special friends to help me stay true to myself. To be present and authentic is all there is, and I don't know how to do it alone.

Love me, please.

"Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you. Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I will not forget you. Love me and I may be forced to love you."

- William Arthur Ward

My wife sent this one to me a few days ago, and it seemed appropriate for today, a holiday in which to reflect upon our relationships. A few additions to this list that come to mind from my recent coaching experiences are: "Accept me as I am, and I will seek your counsel on how to improve.", and "Risk yourself to contribute to and serve me, and I will deeply appreciate you for the rest of my life (at least eventually).":-)This is the deepest form of love, being unconditionally accepted by another, who at the same time stands ready to risk themselves to make a difference, and we all desparately seek this form of love and support. And, as the accompanying message indicates, it all starts with me.

"One of the primary principles of miracles in relationships is: We are to look first to ourselves - our own lessons, thoughts, and behaviors - in order to find true peace with another person. The sole responsibility of the miracle worker is to accept the Atonement for himself first."

More truth about truth.

"The truth is often cruel, but it can be loved, and it makes free those who have learned to love it."

-- George Santayana

For example, one truth for me that can sometimes seem cruel is that I can make life so hard, even at its best, when there's so much to be thankful for. Yesterday was a down day for me, and not because anything was wrong, just because I do this to myself at times. I sabotage myself and make myself a burden to be around, for no apparent reason. When I get this way, I often add insult to injury by feeling guilty for feeling this way. Some of you have been nice enough to encourage me to lighten up on myself, and I am going to choose to do that today - to let myself be human and to feel all of what I'm feeling and to trust that the people who love me will still love me, even as I be ALL of Jim.