Strength is for service.

"Cultivate your own relationship with God, but don't impose it on others. You're fortunate if your behavior and your beliefs are coherent. But if you're not sure, if you notice that you are acting in ways inconsistent with what you believe - some days trying to impose your opinions on others, other days just trying to please them - then you know that you're out of line. If the way you live isn't consistent with what you believe, then it's wrong. ... Those of us who are strong and able in the faith need to step in and lend a hand to those who falter, and not just do what is most convenient for us. Strength is for service, not status. Each one of us needs to look after the good of the people around us, asking ourselves, 'How can I help?'"

-- Eugene H. Peterson, from The Message; The Bible in Contemporary Language, translation of Romans 14 & 15

I had several people call me today and ask for help in trying to sort out and understand certain other people's behavior. And in my response - which had to do with being sure that "your behavior and your belief are coherent" before focusing on anyone else's actions, and then if and when you do to make sure it is in contribution, not condemnation - I had one of these individuals suggest that the conversation reminded him of Romans in the Bible, especially the translation from The Message, which he had just read on an airplane home from a business meeting, so I pulled out my copy (which he had gifted me a while back), turned to pages 2058 & 2059, and there it was, the very advice he was seeking and already knew. Thank you, D.M., for passing along this wonderful lesson, and for using me to serve you in this powerful way.

Just be you.

"Be exactly who you are. This is the first step toward becoming better than you are."

-- Julius Charles Hare

For my new friend, D.G., as a commemoration of our amazing day yesterday. You took the plunge, hopped on an airplane, and crossed the country to visit a total stranger, and then spent a whole day with me, letting me in on the most intimate details of your life, and I am moved beyond words. Soon you will have "who you are" clearly described on a single piece of paper, in your own words, straight from your heart, and all that will ever be required to achieve dramatic improvement in your experience of your life in any given moment is to read it and be it. Thank you for your wonderful visit and for coming into my life in such a courageous, real, and meaningful way. And I know you struggle with the notion of how difficult it will be to change - change habits, change your self-image and the perception you have of certain others, change your thought and speech patterns. Well, the following is a simple reminder of what you already know:

"Our belief (and the bold declaration of it) at the beginning of (and all during) any doubtful undertaking is the one thing that insures the successul outcome of the venture."

-- William James

You will have the "bold declaration" by the end of the weekend. The "belief" part is up to you.

The importance of choice in action and keeping it conscious

"There is a tendency among many shallow thinkers of our day to teach that every human act is a reflex (based on something fixed and predictable, like personality type), over which we have limited ability to exercise human control. They would rate a generous deed as no more praiseworthy than a wink, a crime as no more voluntary than a sneeze ... such a philosophy undercuts all human dignity ... all of us have the power of choice in action at every moment of our lives."

-- Fulton J. Sheen

My experience has been that we make these choices whether or not we even consciously know we have choice in action. Our actions in any given moment tend to be a response to immediately surrounding circumstances, determined by our relationship with two powerful forces in our lives: 1) our unconscious emotions, which can often be fear-based and, if so, tend to elicit unconscious fear-based responses from others, or 2) our conscious commitments, which are usually love-based (love for God, for ourselves, for the world and our fellow man) and tend to attract either unconsciously harmonious or consciously loving responses from others. Either way, we're choosing - if only choosing whether or not to be responsible for our choice.

When our fears are triggered and then are left unspoken, they tend to control us and eliminate our perception that there is choice in action. However, when both our fears and our commitments are spoken openly, thereby consciously acknowledging the existence of both forces, then choice remains consciously present, by definition. From this place of choice, we can often help each other make more "effective" choices (choices that optimize the well-being of all concerned) by reminding each other of our shared higher commitments, while fully respecting our humanity ("our feelings," as distinguished from "the truth"). We are "strengthened" or made "more fit" to do this when our personal integrity - the degree to which we are "being who we say we are, doing what we say we'll do" - is intact and operational as a driver of our behavior.

The key is not to always be "in integrity," because that is an impossible, unreachable goal as a human being (and we can really destroy ourselves by being too harsh in our self-assessment), but rather to always be in conscious pursuit of it, always seeking higher levels of attainment of this elusive ideal.

Giving the gift of your best, and how and why to do so

"The greatest gift you can give to someone you care about is your own personal development. I used to say, "If you will take care of me, I will take care of you." Now I say, "I will gladly take care of me ... for both of us."

-- Jim Rohn

"Be not a slave of your own past - plunge into the sublime seas, dive deep, and swim far, so you shall come back with renewed self-respect, new power, and the wisdom that comes from an advanced experience, one that shall both explain and move beyond the old way."

-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that others won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. And as we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

-- Nelson Mandela, quoting Marianne Williamson in his 1994 Inauguration Speech

This message was inspired by my conversation last night with one very special woman out there, and you know exactly who you are, right? The brief conversation we had was in direct response to her reading the first draft of her personal vision that we worked on together, and it was about her discomfort with the brilliance and magnificence suggested by her own thoughts and words, and a concern that others might see her as overly "pious" (once again, her word). Well, what a beautiful opportunity to express my loving support of another human being, so here goes. I took a minute to look up "pious" in the dictionary, and there were 3 definitions offered: 1) having or showing reverence for God (check), 2) of or pertaining to religious devotion (check), and 3) characterized by a hypocritical concern for the presentation of virtue or devotion (ah, here seems to be the rub). So, I know she can't be concerned with #1 or #2, because she is a devoted Christian woman. So, that brought me to #3, which is where I believe her problem lies, so I looked up the word, "hypocritical," and found the following: "based on a pretense of having desirable or publicly approved attitudes, beliefs, principles, etc., that one does not actually possess." Aha, there's the concern - the fear of being seen as a hypocrite. Well, the way to avoid being seen as a hypocrite is not to deny your most beautiful traits, but rather to live into them to your and God's full satisfaction. So, I offer this to you as a resounding affirmation - a bold calling forth of your inherent greatness, which can't be denied or hidden. This is a request that you simply own it, that you be eternally grateful for it (knowing exactly where it comes from), and that you be totally responsible with it in putting it to effective use in living your God-given purpose. Yes, there will certainly be fear, hardship, and obstacles, just as there will be great joy, but oh yeah, I think yesterday's message covered that.

It's all good.

"My brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of any kind, consider it nothing but joy, because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance; and let endurance have its full effect, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking in nothing."

-- James 1: 2 - 4, from The New Revised Standard Version Bible

I met with a wonderful couple yesterday who spend every moment of every day serving others, and we spoke of human trials and tribulation and how our faith can often be severely tested in the pursuit of our purpose and vision. I can really relate to this after last year, a very long year of feeling tested to the max. In the middle of the conversation, I heard the woman softly reference the above Bible verse under her breath, and I went home and looked it up, and I felt perfectly heard and served once again. Clearly this is a challenging time for so many of us all over the world who are working to serve humanity, and we question whether God is really paying attention to our efforts, until we hear these little signals on the wind, sprinkled throughout our day, lifting us up once again to our highest selves, reminding us that we are loved and lack nothing, even in our darkest hours. Thank you again, K.T. & R.T., for being God's messengers on this particular Monday afternoon. It is an honor and a privilege to work with you on staying true to this message. And just to reinforce that message, here is another taste.

"Trials are medicines which our gracious and wise Physician prescribes because we need them, and he proportions the frequency and weight of them to what each individual case requires. Let us trust his skill and thank him for his prescription."

-- Sir Isaac Newton

Understanding and transcending fear

"Fear is the tax that conscience pays to guilt."

-- George Sewell

"Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without ... and know that we cannot live within."

-- James Baldwin

"You see what real power is - holding someone else's fear in your hands and (with deep compassion) showing it to them."

-- Amy Tan

Many of us have gotten beyond the primal fear of external things, fear for our own physical security or survival, and we now "generate" fear from places deep inside ourselves. One such place that hides out and wreaks havoc inside many of us is the fear of negative repercussions for our own base human nature and self-destructive actions. We first became painfully aware of this nature and these actions when we started climbing out of our mode of functioning as nothing more than "reactions" to those earlier, more tangible fears of our youth. We started to get some "control" of things. We let our control go to our heads, and we compromised ourselves, a little or a lot, making some painful mistakes and unconsciously hurting others. Most senior executives out there can relate to this. The associated guilt and shame that comes from this new self-awareness tends to seriously aggravate our conscience, but by now our egos have formed around and over everything as an impenetrable, self-protective mask. When we get emotionally triggered, we quickly become competitive, defensive, distant, hidden, judgmental, tough, on the outside, ... leaving us feeling very alone on the inside. I once had a very wise man say to me that he saw his own "overachievement" as a natural "overcompensation" for his underlying feelings of insecurity. This so-called "excellence," as judged by society, which also was such hard work to sustain, was actually a pure fear response, further fueled by guilt and/or shame, rather than a celebration of true excellence as God defines it. So, how do we achieve excellence in ways that are truly joyful and self-sustaining? The answer to this age-old dilemma can be found in our total surrender to loving action. When we find the courage to lower our masks in the face of our own worst nightmares of self-doubt, to come out from behind our fears and be totally naked before God and our fellow man, knowing that we simply cannot live behind them anymore, and we stop projecting our fears and insecurities on others, we find access to the purest form of love and the most self-sustaining form of power there is - the ability to connect deeply and spiritually with other human beings.

The price of complete fulfillment

"Effort only fully releases its reward after a person refuses to quit (when conventional wisdom says you should)."

-- Napoleon Hill

I heard from my dear friend, P.D., this morning. He wrote something over the last few days that he wanted to share with me, and it was a first piece of a touching story of his journey to discover and be himself, full out, and a very scary journey it is. It is really hard work to put down the tools, toys, and weapons associated with man's addiction to achievement, money, and power as "drugs" to feel better about ourselves, and to simply say "I choose us" (referring to his wife and daughters, after he watched the movie, "The Family Man"), and it goes against everything we know, except the deeper Truth we Know, ... that we are here to love and serve one another. Well, I can't help my buddy at this particular stage of his journey, other than to love him and honor his process, because this is the part he must pass through alone, like the "Castle of Silence" in the book, The Knight in Rusty Armor. He has hit that zone where thoughts of your own insanity set in, where you feel isolated and scared to death that you're going to die a failure, where you think everyone in the world thinks you're crazy. This is that place where you feel so abandoned and bereft you want to die. It is here where most quit. My prayer for you this morning, P.D. is that you refuse to quit, no matter what. It is in the cold, empty, silent darkness of these very moments when God's voice shows up and stirs your soul, showing you the way, the way He's chosen for you, on the other side of the door He's asked you to open. Follow that voice.