Words to inspire a leadership stretch in all of us

On Thursday I met with a relatively new coaching client, S.D., at a church up north where he is a minister, and we talked about management philosophy and leadership greatness in the area of ministry. I mentioned to him that I once had an amazing airplane conversation with a gentleman named Bill O'Brien, the former CEO of Hanover Insurance, who Peter Senge quoted often in his great book, The Fifth Discipline, especially in the wonderful section about "Personal Mastery." It was an inspiring conversation about leadership, and I felt so honored to have two uninterrupted hours of learning from an experienced master in organizational transformation. The memory of this, triggered by my conversation with S.D., led me to pull The Fifth Discipline off the bookshelf last night, and when I opened it, here's where my eyes landed:

"O'Brien argues that managers must redefine their jobs in the 21st century. They must 'give up the old dogma of planning, organizing, and controlling and realize the sacredness of their responsibility in the lives of so many people.' Managers fundamental task, according to O'Brien, is 'providing the enabling conditions for people to lead the most enriching lives they can.' ...

No less a source of business acumen than Henry Ford once observed:

'The smallest indivisible reality is, to my mind, intelligent and is waiting there to be used by human spirits if we reach out and call them in. We rush around too much with nervous hands and worried minds. We are impatient for perfect results from perfect people. What we need ... is reinforcement of the soul by the invisible power waiting to be used ... I know there are reservoirs of spiritual strength from which we human beings thoughtlessly cut ourselves off ... I believe we shall someday be able to know enough about that source of power, and the entire realm of spirit, to create something that is truly magnificent (and with very little strain and stress) ...'"

Well, Henry, as Bill suggests above, that time is upon us, right now. And S.D., is there any better place than in a church to experiment with unleashing this untapped leadership resource within us all? After all, isn't this the place where you definitively name what that resource is and where you bring people together to appreciate, praise, and worship Him? And yes, R.L., D.M., and P.C., we got to experience this phenomenon firsthand on a recent business conference call not too long ago, didn't we? And what an instantly accessible, freely available, completely reliable, and perfectly timed resource He proved Himself to be, as always.

The price of true greatness

"Before the beginning of great brilliance, there must be chaos.
Before a brilliant person begins something great,
they must look foolish to the crowd."

-- I Ching

If you're up to something truly great in your life; if you want to achieve lasting success in all of its dimensions, you have to be willing to risk it all in the process. There are no short cuts to true greatness (or great truth); you must pay the price. To risk everything to first discover and then "be" your whole self, to take on the passionate pursuit of a grand vision much bigger than you, to embrace the mystical powers that really run things (vs. the illusion that we do), is surely to open yourself up to others' nervous questioning, ridicule, and even rejection. When you stand tall and weather this storm, trusting in God and yourself that you are doing what you are meant to do, the truth reveals itself in its own time, and in glorious fashion, and you will have no interest in getting any of the credit, because you will have earned the distinction of not needing it. You will have gained something much more valuable - a real experience of God at work. If you prefer a more modern, or more western, version of the same message, consider Einstein's (or Schopenhauer's, depending on who you believe) quote on the same subject:

"All great and new truth passes through 3 stages.
First, it is ridiculed.
Second, it is violently opposed.
Third, it is accepted as being self-evident."

And then it was Peter Drucker who said,

"The better a man is, the more mistakes he will make, for
the more new things he will try in the pursuit of his vision."

In honor of C.S.

"To see beyond the surface is to see in the everyday moments of life something of eternal worth. ... There is no time, no place, no event so earthly that God cannot be there, speaking through them. They are all perfect moments where earth is crammed with heaven."

-- Ken Gire

I am so intrigued by how God puts just the right words in my hands at just the right times to serve other human beings in the midst of their Life Planning work with me. This is the theme quote for a Life Plan I started working on yesterday with a very committed woman, who is also a very devoted wife and partner, and who also happens to be a very busy mother of 4. Having spent some time in her home with her and her husband and family, it is clear that she relates to these special moments when we get to see "beyond the surface" of things in the middle of our "everyday moments" and, largely due to her efforts, theirs is clearly a home "crammed with heaven."

On a more serious note, I awoke this morning to read about the first strikes in Iraq, and it made me very sad. I started to question whether I should make it the main theme of this morning's message, and after my morning prayer, the answer was "No." It is the counterbalance, not the overwhelming truth. It is only in a world where this brutal invasion is occurring, in fearful response to other horrible atrocities, that I have been able to fully see and experience the true beauty of God's creation. Each requires the other to be fully seen and understood, and I can hear God speaking to us in the gap. The only way for us to make the important choices about our own lives is to be crystal clear about the contrast between these choices. Therefore, I leave them together here.

An affirmation in the face of human struggle

"Never to tire, never to grow cold; to be patient, sympathetic, tender; to look for the budding flower and the opening heart; to hope always; ... to love always - this is my duty."

-- Amiel, Henry

Whether at the level of my own most important personal relationships, or in the personal and relationship coaching work I do, or within my chosen communities, or as a global citizen in the face of seemingly endless chaos and despair, this is my daily prayer - asking God to help me always know my duty and to live it relentlessly.

The power of the inner world

"Utopia must spring in the private bosom before it can flower in civic virtue, inner reforms leading naturally to outer ones. A man who has reformed himself will reform thousands."

-- Paramhansa Yogananda

Ah, the most important work there is to do ... inside ourselves. I had the most wonderful Life Planning day yesterday with a new friend here in town who is committed to integrating her life's several "ministries" and becoming her highest and truest self in the pursuit of the clear purpose God is now revealing to her, without being either reduced or shackled by "conventional wisdom." And then I had an equally great Yahoo Messenger chat last night with a new friend in India who had an interest in exploring the notion of creating a "Revolution Consulting" in India. That inquiry told me all I needed to know about how committed he was to his own "reform," and to sharing that process with others. I realized afterwards that these two were really the same conversation, further reinforcing the lessons I'm learning every day in my own life. Both of these conversations brought to life the true significance of sharing my own personal work with other individuals who seek me out. While staying focused on the delicate inner workings of these two beautifully complex human beings it was obvious that thousands more would be touched in profound ways through them, just as I am finding myself touching thousands. What an extreme honor and privilege to share learning and life in this way. Thank you for being so open with me yesterday, M.C. and A.P.. I really appreciate and marvel at the incredible journey we are on together. Isn't it the most amazing thing to be able to continually focus on clarifying, cleaning up, living, and then sharing our own lives as the best way for us to serve God, our families, and the world?

Be the perfect love you seek.

"The bottom line is that (a) people are never perfect, but love can be, (b) that is the one and only way that the mediocre and vile can be transformed, and (c) doing that makes it that. We waste time complaining that we are not loved enough and then looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love."

-- Tom Robbins, from Still Life With Woodpecker


We expect so much from each other; we "need" so much, to fill the many holes we have in the places where we didn't get "perfect love" as children, that it makes us blind to the fact that only we ourselves hold the key to the quality and quantity of love we receive in our lives as adults. The only way to ever get the love we want is to stop complaining about it, or demanding it, and start giving it - freely, passionately, unconditionally, knowing that it, and we, can be crushed at any time in the process. This is especially relevant now, at the early hours of a particularly dangerous week in the world. No single one of us can change world events, but we can change our own lives, and the lives of our families, and our communities, and our companies, if we act with courage and faith. And enough of us doing that will change the world.

As I finished the above message this morning and checked my email before sending it out, I received a regular mailing from another coach I admire, another Tom. And as I scanned his writing, this paragraph jumped out at me:

"If we want meaning in our lives, we need to confront and transform, within and outside of ourselves, those things that harm and destroy our spirits and our relationships with ourselves, others, and the natural world. As people in Alcoholics Anonymous say, 'it is time to grow or die'."

-- Tom Heuerman

The work of community - always and forever

"Hear me, four quarters of the world - a relative I am! Give me the strength to walk the soft earth, a relative to all that is! Give me the eyes to see and the strength to understand, that I may be like you. With your power only can I face the winds."

-- Black Elk (1863 - 1950), Oglala Sioux holy man

"We were born to unite with our fellow men, and to join in community with the human race."

-- Cicero (106 - 43 BC), famous Roman orator, lawyer, politician, and philosopher

"Years ago I recognized my kinship with all living things, and I made up my mind that I was not one bit better than the meanest on the earth. I said then and I say now, that while there is a lower class, I am in it; while there is a criminal element, I am of it; while there is a soul in prison, I am not free."

-- Eugene V. Debs (1855 - 1926), U.S. labor organizer and politician

"The first duty of a human being is to assume the right functional relationship to society -- more briefly, to find your real job, and do it."

-- Charlotte Perkins Gilman (1860 - 1935), U.S. feminist theorist, writer, and lecturer

"This is the duty of our generation as we enter the twenty-first century -- solidarity with the weak, the persecuted, the lonely, the sick, and those in despair. It is expressed by the desire to give a noble and humanizing meaning to a community in which all members will define themselves not by their own identity but by that of others."

-- Elie Wiesel (1928 - ), Holocaust survivor, awarded the Nobel Prize for Peace in 1986

Whether it be in our family, our community, our company, our nation, our race, or our religion, this is our real work, and it has always been the same - to learn to reach out and connect, in compassion and love, to our fellow human beings throughout the world in our continuing efforts to make it a better place for all to live. At any given point in time, we're either doing our real work (and/or expanding our capacity to do so) or suffering the consequences of not doing it (thereby learning that it's all there ever is to do). There is no avoiding this simple truth.