The power in a slight shift of focus

"A life of reaction is a life of slavery, intellectually and spiritually. One must fight for a life of intentional, positive action instead of blind reaction."

-- Rita Mae Brown

"Suffering isn't ennobling; recovery is."

-- Christian Barnard

What a minute shift of energy, that from suffering to recovery, and what a powerful difference that subtle shift can make in a person's life and relationships. Suffering is an ongoing negative reaction to a perception of fearful external circumstance. It is a total surrender to fear, and to the past. It is "the effect of habitual wrong thought in a backward direction, an indication that the individual is out of harmony with himself," says James Allen. It tends to be addictive and self-perpetuating. Recovery, on the other hand, is a positive choice to move forward in the direction of God and of healing. It is a surrender to faith, and to possibility. It is also self-perpetuating, fueled by life-giving thought and action. It is a very fine line that separates these two "ways of being," and yet the impact on a person and their quality of life is immense. I walked that fine line, like a tightrope in the darkness, with several different clients/friends over this last week. Some moved forward resolutely, albeit toward some great unknown; some moved backward in resignation and despair, albeit toward "safety;" and some stood still, staring at their feet, frozen in the moment. The "circumstance" of "being on the rope" was the same for each of them; only each unique individual experience of it differed. In every case, I did my best to hold their hand with one hand, point the flashlight forward into the darkness with the other, and pray for God to support our steps.

It starts inside and emanates from there.

My coaching work yesterday had a very consistent theme that I would state as follows:

"Our relationship with ourselves dictates the nature of our relationships with others."

In the middle of my day, and totally consistent with this theme, I received a beautiful message from A.P., who wanted to share a powerful thought that had crystallized in her mind. Thank you, A., for these beautiful words:

"I realize that the only true thing to do is to love me, appreciate me, nurture me, build me, expand me, so that as I am higher and deeper in love, then from this love I can expand into loving others without depleting me."

This is not "selfishness," as many of us have learned it, but rather "capacity-building." It is only through building and expanding our human capacity that we can truly serve God and the world.

A coach's dream call

"The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your riches, but to reveal to him his own."

-- Benjamin Disraeli

I received a voice mail yesterday from D.M., letting me know that he had tried to reach me in the midst of a breakdown, and that in my unavailability he had the conversation he was expecting to have with me with himself, and then he immediately put it to good use, and now he was simply thanking me for being that stand for him and helping him rediscover himself. The message was short and sweet: "Jim, thanks for the conversation we surely would have had if I had connected with you earlier. It worked great." This strikes me as what it means to be powerfully present for another human being. Thank you, D., for sharing such a wonderful experience and acknowledgement. What an honor to be "used" in this way and to serve you by simply being me in your life. And how awesome that you were able to do this - find access to your own inner wisdom in the midst of chaos by simply picking up a phone.

Quality of life

"The quality of your life is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way you use your mind to look at what happens."

-- John Homer Miller

The really effective, powerful, and successful people I've met in my life have not been the ones who have "had things easy." Instead they are the ones who make their biggest difficulties look easy through the way they approach them. They reframe what others see as insurmountable problems into exciting learning and growth opportunities. They claim full responsibility for their life experience. They don't whine or complain. They deal straight with tough issues. They challenge and confront their fears. They put themselves at risk to truly live.

The relationship between vision and action

"Only he who keeps his eye fixed on the far horizon will find his right road."

-- Dag Hammarskjold

"Those who love a cause or purpose are those who love the life which must be led in order to serve it."

-- Simone Weil

Yesterday was a "visioning" day for a woman who is boldly creating a new future for herself, unlimited by the past. An image is slowly emerging of a beautifully inspired life which I now get to capture and reflect with her own words, thoughts, and feelings. The key here, A.B., is to keep your eye on that compelling portrait, once it's fully transferred onto canvas, while living a daily life that is worthy of such a masterpiece. Thank you for sharing yourself so courageously and for the privilege of reflecting your powerful and unique personal vision back to you.

Choose your attitude through your actions

"We can choose to be happy by giving joy rather than mourning its absence or waiting to receive it. This is not denial, but affirmation of the power inside us. Embracing joy by proactively giving it to others heals depression."

-- A Course in Miracles

I have had more than a few coaching clients complain of severe depression lately - feelings of deep despair and helplessness. God knows we all have an ample supply of readily available reasons to feel that way these days. But if you seriously want to do something about it in the moment you feel most lost, there is nothing better than to reach out to someone, anyone, and make a profound difference in their lives, without any self-concern. It is by far the best thing you can do...for yourself. And it makes a big difference that you create it rather than receive it.

"You have not lived a perfect day, even if you have earned your money, unless you have done something for someone who will never be able to repay you."

-- Ruth Smeltzer

Using your mind vs. being your mind

"Your mind cannot possibly understand God, no matter how hard it tries. Your heart already knows. Minds were actually designed for carrying out the orders of the heart."

-- Emmanuel


This quote drives home the point that, as we continues to awaken, our lives begin to work in the most effective, fulfilling, and harmonious way when our hearts (our spiritual connection to God) "move into the driver's seat," when all of our other "internal systems" are allowed to function in support of our God-given sense of purpose, and when we trust deep down that we really do know what's best for us. When operating from the heart, we rarely choose the easiest path, but rather the one that feels right and true, and we are never let down by this choice. Oh, yeah, and along these lines, my most sincere congratulations, F.F., for your courageous choice.