My heart out for a walk

"Choosing to have a child - how momentous. It is to choose forever to have your heart walking around outside your body."

-- Elizabeth Stone

Even though they're on my daily mailing list, I don't get too many emails from my older boys, Jim and Mark. They're very normal college guys with active social lives and busy work schedules. When I do, however, it's usually a deep heart connection - something resonates with one of us that touches each of us, and we reach out. After the Jake & Timo photo/story and The Mexican Fisherman story went out last week, I received these emails from them, one right after the other. This phenomenon brought it home to me once again that my heart is walking around the campus of Rutgers University in New Jersey, as well as right under my feet here in Houston. I love all three of you guys so much, and I get the message.

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"I remember reading this story a few years ago and thinking it was one of the greatest things I'd ever read. I can almost see the look of bewilderment cross the face of that american guy when he realizes that all that stuff was
what he already has to begin with. I feel kinda lucky that i already know how little happiness and money have to do with each other.

love mark"

"Hey Dad,

Just going through my emails before class, and I saw this picture of Jake and Timo. What a great picture. Jake looks like a really happy kid. Did you give a copy to Timo? Sorry I haven't been around for your calls, I've had work and exams and everything. I got to see the 4th quarter of the Monday night game (we're Eagles fans). Pretty sweet. This could be the year!
Hope to talk to you soon.

Love, Jim"

The wisdom in searching for the lesson in a fall

"To learn the greatest lesson, don't look where your fall landed (or at your possessions that lie broken on the floor underneath you), but where you first slipped."

-- Liberian proverb

"All events are filled with signs, and it is a wise man who can learn about one thing from another."

-- Plotinus

So often when we experience painful disappointments or setbacks, we tend to only look at the immediate circumstances surrounding our plight. Then, out of our emotional (and often irrational) response to the pain of it, we look for quick fixes to clean up the mess and alleviate the pain as soon as possible. However, the greatest lesson can often be found when we calmly re-trace our steps leading up to the fall and assess where we lost our footing, where we first slipped in our own blindness or inattention. There are often valuable hidden lessons and opportunities for dramatic ongoing improvements in looking back and seeing what wasn't seen before, rather than just cursing the obvious and finding someone or something to blame, missing the important lesson in it for us, thereby dooming ourselves to repeating the entire process.

Souls taking flight

Courage is the price that life exacts for granting peace.
The soul that knows it not, knows no release from little things;
Knows not the livid loneliness of fear;
Nor mountain heights where bitter joy can hear
The sound of wings.

--Amelia Earhart

I found myself in support of several people yesterday who clearly are finding their courage amidst the "livid loneliness of fear." I asked them this question, "Do you wish for a life of manageability (and minimal suffering) or magic (and maximum service), and do you know the price of each?" When we reached the conclusion together that the price of the former is joy and of the latter is courage, I could hear the sound of their wings unfolding and taking flight - an awesome sound, indeed.

Soul Portrait

"The aim of art is to represent not the outward appearance of things, but their inward significance."

-- Aristotle

"Art is that gift which reveals to us the state of our own perfection."

-Ku-kai


I had two of the most amazing women collaborate to give me the most beautiful gift yesterday. A dear friend, A.P., who I have been supporting on her journey into "being known" in the world, set me up with an artist named Celeste for a sitting. Celeste is a "visionary artist" who creates colored drawings she calls "soul portraits." She was visiting Houston on her once-a-year stop here, and my friend scheduled and paid for an appointment for me. Over a period of about an hour Celeste gave me several amazing gifts. First, she gave me a rich feeling of being deeply and sincerely acknowledged and appreciated for who I am and for the work I do in the world, which felt absolutely wonderful. Second, she honored me by capturing and communicating her vision of me through her art. And third, by doing so, she gave me the most incredible and personal experience of who she is. It was a fabulous exercise that I will treasure for a lifetime, and the portrait moves me beyond words. Someday, when I get over my shyness about what just occurred, I will scan it in and share it with all of you. For now, forgive me while I just stare at it in wonder for awhile. I now have a sense of what it might be like for those 150 or so of you with whom I have collaborated to create a personal vision for your life. It's both challenging and intoxicating to sit with another person's artistic representation of the awesome beauty of your soul. Wow, A.P.!

In honor of Timo, the most powerful man I know

"The test of the morality of a society (and the quality of its people) is how it treats its children."

-- Dietrich Bonhoeffer

In my past life I would not have even noticed Timo. He would not have shown up on my radar as a human being of any special significance whatsoever. Timo is a quiet little Mexican man who cleans up around the grounds of my coffee shop, and he is the most amazing and most powerful man I know. When Timo sees Jake coming, out on one of his daily morning adventures, he stops everything. He listens and watches for what Jake is up to on this particular day, and then he slips himself into Jake's day like a hand in a glove. And he always gets down on one knee and approaches Jake on his level, speaking to him with great respect and warmth. Whether it's letting Jake sweep leaves into his dustpan, or letting Jake water the potted plants (on which occasion he often waters Timo as well), or lifting Jake up onto his ladder, he always comes up with just the right thing to make my buddy smile. Timo notices Jake and climbs into his world like a playmate, and he has become one of Jake's favorite characters in life, which makes him one of my favorite characters. A week before Jake's birthday, after noticing how much Jake loves police cars after a local policeman let Jake sit in the front seat of his car and sound the siren, Timo surprised Jake with an early birthday present, wrapped beautifully and with tender loving care. It was a toy police car, with lights and a siren, and Jake fell in love with it, and with Timo, all over again. There are all kinds of power in this world, and all kinds of ways to get access to it. I've had my fill of people searching for power through controlling others, pursuing fame, or securing money. Timo reminds me that the sweetest and most true form of power, the kind that rocks my world these days, is the kind that gives people loving, respectful attention when nobody else is around or noticing. And in my world these days, nothing is more powerful than a man's ability to make a child's face light up, and when it's my child, then what can I say. YOU THE MAN, Timo!

The most effective order of things

"Business is a game. The minute you begin to think of it any differently it ceases to be fun and immediately begins to control your life, ultimately driving you crazy with wild obsessions, eventually ruining your family life. Keep things in perspective. First family, second friends, and third your business. Practice this and you'll be much happier for it. And your business will be much happier as well."

-- Josh S. Hinds

I don't usually say this exactly the way Josh does above, but we're essentially on the same wavelength. I have discovered an amazing secret (and yes, as usual, the hard way) about the quality of life that comes from the order in which we focus our energy. And many of you have either already learned this or are in the painful process of doing so. If we first put our energy into those things that give us our lives, the most important things - our spiritual relationship with God, our physical and emotional health & well-being, our marriage or primary relationship, our children, our parents & siblings, our friendships - it actually increases our energy for service and for the "game of work" in our lives, leading to more effective and pleasant relationships everywhere. And if we first put our energy into our work's "wild obsessions", it drains us of energy for all of the important things, damaging our relationships everywhere. The only way to "have it all" is to focus our energy in the right order.

Inviting you to hear your heart's truth when you speak it

"It was a puzzling thing. The truth knocks on the door and you say, 'Go away, I'm looking for the truth.' and so it goes away. Puzzling. We were both looking at the same thing, seeing the same thing, talking about the same thing, except he was looking, seeing, talking, and thinking from a completely different dimension."

-Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
-Robert M. Pirsig

This quote makes me smile, as I know it will several others of you out there this morning. For the rest of you, I met with several people last week (and they know exactly who they are), and as they know I have a tendency to ask very straight, pointed questions that go to the heart of one's truth, and then I will often write down the answer that comes out first and in a gush. And I will operate on the premise that this is often what's true for that person, because the truth often leaks (or explodes) out this way before we have a chance to filter, package, or squelch it. And then when I begin going to work in supporting that person operating out of their stated truth, I'll often hear them say , "I didn't say that!" "I wish you wouldn't hear everything I say." "I really meant to say something else." It's really very amusing. I am happy and honored to stand in that wacky dimension of dreams and possibilities for them (and anyone who seeks me out) until they are more able, committed, and ready to do so.