Clarity of Vision

"Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart."

-- Carl Jung

Life Planning is the means by which I get to accompany and support individuals as they look deeply into their own heart and find their deepest truth, that place from which they "surrender" to living their life's intended "masterpiece." The view is usually so breathtakingly beautiful that it causes both of us to cry in the presence of such unabashed magnificence. It is an extreme honor and privilege to share this sacred place with another human being, and I want to thank N.P. and D.L. for yesterday, in which they so graciously allowed me to continue playing the role of "camera" for their mind's "photographer," capturing their heart's "subject" and recording it for them exactly as we both saw it through the lens. The "prints" (personal vision statements) will be developed very soon, and they are awesome.

Honoring Friendship

Last night I happened across a web site entitled "Annie's Favorite Quotations," and I couldn't resist checking it out. I had just finished meeting with one wonderful Annie and, of course, I'm married to another. The first quote that I randomly called up out of hundreds available captured the essence of my day, which was about "discovering" friendship. Thanks to some great coaching on the subject from my dear friend, P.V., I have learned to distinguish how and when true friendship shows up, and it is a beautiful thing to behold.

"How rare and wonderful is that brilliant flash of a moment when we realize we have discovered a true friend."

-- William Rotsler

I offer this message today in appreciation of K.K., S.F., R.L., and A.P., for giving me 4 brilliant flashes in a row. You are such amazing human beings and you blessed me so richly, by being who you are for me and reflecting who I am for you.

The price of bliss

"I know that every good and excellent thing in the world stands moment by moment on the razor-edge of danger and must be fought for, at the risk of death ..."

--Thornton Wilder

Ah, that sweet razor's edge. It's where all the good stuff grows. Being willing to die every day, fighting one's own fears of death, is where life shows up in all of its magnificence. Whereas our bodies must first die in order to find heaven, it is our egos that must first die in order to find true bliss in life. And it is a worthwhile exchange.

An inspired vision of the world (celebrated on my son Jim's birthday)

"It is only when we are ready to embrace the possibility that we might be tomorrow who we were not capable of being today that true intimacy becomes attractive."

-- A Course in Miracles

I want to take this opportunity to leverage one powerful message (above) to set the stage for another one (below). I watched a special TV broadcast last night on the events leading up to September 11th of last year, and once again I cried my eyes out. God, the agony of it is still so fresh. I now choose to look beyond the pain and tears to share one person's compelling "world vision," in an effort to help us embrace each other intimately on this very special day, a day made even more special for me because it is my first son Jim's 23rd birthday. Jim, the greatest gift I can give you is to do my part in creating this world Robert speaks of and to invite you to fully participate and celebrate who you are in it. To say "Happy Birthday" on this particular day is too small and trite a wish for you this year. Instead, I wish you a deeply meaningful day where you really get a sense of how important you are to your family, friends, and the world. Thank you for having a heart big enough to love me as your Dad, in all of my flawed and self-imporant humanity. And thank you, Robert, for having a selfless vision big enough for us all to fit into. Here's to "a world that works!"

DECLARATIONS FOR A WORLD THAT WORKS FOR EVERYONE

TODAY AND FOR ALL TIME,

The world works for every person on the planet.


TODAY AND FOR ALL TIME,

Every child and parent is loved, taken care of, supported, and nurtured for their entire lives.

The world is living in peace.

Every human being on the planet has enough to eat and be nurtured.

Everyone has access to medical care and attention.


TODAY AND FOR ALL TIME,

Every human being has a safe home.

Every person has plenty of clean water to drink.

Every person knows how to read and finds joy in learning.

The earth is using all energy effectively and imaginatively.


TODAY AND FOR ALL TIME,

There is plenty of energy available for everyone.

Every country is debt free and prosperous.

The world’s population is stable and perfectly aligned with its resources.

Crops are thriving and soil is stable throughout the world.


TODAY AND FOR ALL TIME,

The world’s forests are thriving and regenerating.

The ozone layer is healthy and protected.

Our worldwide air and skies are clean.

The temperatures of the planet are stable and perfect.


TODAY AND FOR ALL TIME,

The earth is clear of all land mines.

Every citizen of the world belongs to a community where they are valued.

Weapons of mass destruction and radioactive waste have been permanently disposed of.

Every person lives in freedom with respect for speech and law.


Copyright by Robert Adler, 2001. www.AWorldThatWorks.com

The challenge of "choosing what matters"

Lily speaking to August on "bee patrol" together in The Secret Life of Bees, by Sue Monk Kidd:

"There is one thing I don't get," I said.

"What's that?"

"How come if your favorite color is blue, you painted your house so pink?"

She laughed. "That was May's doing (August's sister). She was with me the day I went to the paint store to pick out the color. I had a nice tan color in mind, but May latched on to this sample called Caribbean Pink. She said it made her feel like dancing a Spanish flamenco. I thought, 'Well, this is the tackiest color I've ever seen, and we'll have half the town talking about us, but if it can lift May's heart like that, I guess she ought to live inside it.' "

"All this time I just figured you liked pink," I said.

She laughed again. "You know, some things don't matter much, Lily. Like the color of a house. How big is that in the overall scheme of life? But lifting a person's heart - now that matters. The whole problem with people is -"

"They don't know what matters and what doesn't," I said, filling in her sentence and feeling proud of myself for doing so.

"I was gonna say, The problem is they know what matters, but they don't choose it. You know how hard that is, Lily? I love May, but it was still so hard to choose Caribbean Pink. The hardest thing in life is choosing what matters."

In our personal and business relationships, it always seems easier to do "other things," where we can sustain the illusion of effectiveness, happiness, and success, than it is to expose ourselves to the raw emotions and vulnerability required to be a truly loving partner, family member, and caring leader. Why this is so I have no idea, but stories like the above give me courage and model for me what it is to continually choose what matters. Thanks, T.C. for originally suggesting this book title. It has proven to be a great gift for both Anne and me.

In honor of this special week, let's take a little extra time to examine how often in our lives we choose to do the expedient thing, that thing designed to let us have our own way, oblivious to others, or to sidestep responsibility when things go wrong, or to treat others callously or offhandedly, rather than "choosing what matters," and then let's put in a little extra effort when we actually know what matters, to choose it. During this week when we're so vividly reminded of what really matters in life, let's not miss out on the gift of our own humanity. Give yourself.

Love & Partnership

"Love does not attach conditions... Genuine love is always a free gift. Love realizes and accepts that there will be disagreements and disturbing emotions... There may be times when miles lay between, but love is a commitment to the constant creation of being loving. It believes in itself and endures all things. Love encourages full freedom of expression. Love shares positives and negatives, reactions to warm and cold feelings. Love -- intimate love -- will never reject others. It is the first to encourage and the last to condemn. Love is a commitment to the growth, happiness, and fulfillment of one another."

-- Barb Upham

I've been working with a large number of couples lately, and it is sacred work in the hardest area of many of our lives - the single relationship where we are most naked and vulnerable. I thought this might be a positive message of encouragement and support for those of us who are working really hard to make marriage work.

Thankfulness

"... when we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that's present--love, health, family, friends, work, the joys of nature, and personal pursuits that bring us pleasure--the wasteland of illusion falls away and we experience heaven on earth."

--Sarah Ban Brethnach

"No longer forward nor behind
I look in hope or fear;
But, grateful, take the good I find,
The best of now and here."

--John Greenleaf Whittier

I want to take this day to be thankful for my many present blessings. I love abundantly and am richly and deeply loved; I am healthy and strong; I have a magnificent family and many wonderful friends; my work is my calling and it lifts me up and fulfills me and serves others; our neighborhood is a beautiful place, especially when I can see it through the eyes of little Jake (yesterday we spent an hour marching through rain puddles - and he "discovered" Daddy puddles, Mommy puddles, and baby puddles). Like Jake, I have people all over the world who I get to help see the beauty of their lives, even in the midst of life's "puddles." Thank you, God, for all of it.