The way it's meant to be

For any of you who have been wondering what conclusion I might have reached on the subject of requesting payment for this service, I think God answered the question quite nicely with this message from India below:
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Your messages have been special for me. Though you have chosen not to require payment, I intend keeping this $3 per month for someone who needs it as much as I need your messages. At this point of time there is an elderly lady who comes to me for buying college books/fees for her grand daughter. She is poor but her grand daughter scores rich marks. She is in her second year of college now and I have paid for her first and second year books. This $3 per month (concept created out of our interaction) will go for such purposes henceforth, in addition to whatever I have been doing already.

thanks again.

warmly
v

p.s. If our community is so inspired as to keep aside $3 a month for such purposes then I feel your dilemma (of requiring a fee or not) has been answered in the most appropriate manner by Him!! How wonderful His ways are to such a sincere question.

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Thank you, v, for the beautiful demonstration of the flow of life's abundance, which is available to all of us.

Life ... and sticking to the plan

I have a coaching client and friend here in town who is a true hero to me, in that she is learning the power of forgiveness in a situation where most could not possibly see their way to it over 10 lifetimes. I had given her two "assignments" in her Life Plan that I felt I might never see completed, because I sensed the first called for a superhuman stand of unbelievable compassion, forgiveness, and self-empowerment, which led to a second that required her to be completely "free of it all," and this is what I got from her at the end of what used to be a defining (and severely limiting) week in her life:
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"Life is too short" is not really a cliché, it is reality, as Jim's friend, J.C., and all of his friends and family are recently experiencing, and as I experienced 12 years ago. "Time will heal" - now that's a cliché! Time does not really heal, but it helps. This week is the anniversary of the disappearance of my son, "AJ," and first husband, my discovery of them, and their funeral (which also happened to be my grandparent's 50th wedding anniversary). This is a painful week for me, a painstaking holiday and a reminder that sometimes life just sucks.
Life can never be planned, because something will interrupt it. A while back Jim wrote a quote about living life as though today is your last. Enjoy every day and every person because they are God's gift! God does have a
master plan; we are all part of it. I was blessed with a beautiful son and daughter (in 1987 and 1989, respectively). My son passed away in 1990, but what a gift he is to this day and forever. The message that he is for me is that life on earth is very precious, cherish the relationships that you build here, create bonds that will last eternity, and forgive those who have hurt us. For the first time in years, I am taking steps to forgive the person who I made up created such ingrained pain for me, but in reality lead me to a much better life. Thank you. For all of those in Heaven, our paths will cross again and we will celebrate! For all of those on Earth, as our paths cross, let us celebrate right now!

tap...tap tap tap...tap :) - Dance is on Thursday evening :)
Thanks Jim, Love Ya! M :)
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Dear M.:

This is especially for you, with great love and admiration:

Forgiveness is not the misguided act of condoning irresponsible, hurtful behavior. Nor is it a superficial turning of the other cheek that leaves us feeling victimized and martyred. Rather it is the finishing of old business that allows us to experience the present, free of contamination from the past.
- Joan Borysenko, Ph.D., Fire In The Soul

Welcome to your fabulous and unlimited present.

Love,

Jim

Happy Anniversary, Mom & Dad!

"Marriage is not a static state between two unchanging people. Marriage is a psychological and spiritual journey that begins in the ecstasy of attraction, meanders through a rocky stretch of self-discovery, and culminates in the creation of an intimate, joyful, lifelong union."

-- Harville Hendrix

This has been a week to honor marriage at its finest. First, I "celebrated" an awesome 47-year marriage at a funeral. I knew how great it was from the way the family talked about it. It was an unbelievably sad and beautiful celebration at the same time. Then I worked with some committed guys yesterday (that's you, J.C., C.H., and K.K.) who asked me to support them in creating great marriages for themselves and their families - a chance for me to teach what I most want to learn. And now, on September 5th, 2002, I tip my hat to my wonderful parents on their 49th wedding anniversary, offering a very heartfelt congratulations from an admiring and grateful son.

Thanks for showing me how it's done, Mom & Dad, and have a wonderful day!

There's no avoiding your life's integrity rules.

"The part can never be well unless the whole is well."

-- Plato

I was speaking with a friend yesterday morning about Plato and the difficulty of "getting" some of his writings, and sure enough this quote showed up soon after that. This one I think I get, along with its "chicken or the egg" complexity, and I even have a picture that helps me get it. I offer it as a gift to you in the attached. This is a general representation of "the whole" that I must hold together every day such that each of my "parts" can be well. And, when I forget or ignore one part, "the whole" loses something, which diminishes every other part.

Get to it right now.

Yesterday was her viewing. Today is her funeral. As Anne and I hugged our friend and wept, remembering him and his wife at our wedding like it was yesterday, it struck us with profound force. Life is so short. I came home, grabbed the inspirational calendar on my desk and randomly flung it open. It landed on September 27th and this message. How perfect.

Life is short.
Be swift to love!
Make haste to be kind!

-- Henri F. Amiel

God bless our sanctuary.

"Find those little islands of grace in which you can interiorize your peace and reverence for life. Become an emmissary for peace, reverence, and compassion by your own example. In sanctuary it is much easier to get in touch with these soulful qualities, and thereby share them as gifts with others. Let your own commitment to find sacred time and space be the spiritual beacon that draws others to the safe harbor of their own unique form of sanctuary."
-- Christopher Forrest McDowell

I had a full day alone yesterday. I was just back from a busy week in Austin. Anne and Jake were not home yet. I had a full day to invest in me - to be in my own form of sanctuary. I do not always proactively create these opportunities for myself. And my life suffers when I wait too long. This one happened upon me, and I am happy to say that I took full advantage of it. I got up early, while it was still cool, and went over to Memorial Park and did my exercises and had a nice long run. I drove with the top down in the early morning air to my coffee shop and enjoyed my leisurely morning, chatting with my good friend and fellow regular, S.W.. I wrote in my 10-year journal and saw the entry from this day in 1997 expressing the joy of doing just this. I took an extra long shower. I cleared out my emotional closets, apologizing to anyone I might have effected with my "clutter." I wrote, having started a book with my partner, K.L., a month ago. I went for a nice leisurely lunch by myself. I came home and read for awhile in my comfortable leather club chair. I luxuriated, and it felt very, very good. I feel refreshed now, just as it's time to go pick up Anne and Jake at the airport. I am so ready to welcome my family home and to re-engage my life. Later this morning I will be back to my regular morning routine with Jake, and it too will be heaven. I love my life's little rituals. In the past, I didn't know how to be with just me. I am learning. I am learning that I am good company for me, and that when I take care of myself completely I am better company for others.

An interesting barometer

Last week, while on the subject of "our shared purpose on this earth, which is to learn how to love and serve others," I posted the following message on the experimental blog site (a shared journal) I'm exploring with about 20 of you:


"This is my favorite quote on love: 'Love always finds itself.' Learn to read what you are 'experiencing' from others as an indicator of how loving you are being in the world."

Then I just recently had a rather stark experience of "not that" for myself, where I reacted to someone harshly and judgmentally, when what I was really experiencing was my hurt feelings from not feeling important enough to this person for them to include me in their short-term schedule, and I got back an understandably negative response. My "experience" of this was a clear indicator to me that I missed an opportunity to love and serve another, and for that I am deeply sorry, B.R. I looked back at the blog message I wrote and had a little chuckle at how blind and silly I can be at times. All I really wanted to say was, "I miss you." That's not quite what came out, is it? :-) Please forgive me.

Deep sobs

Deep sobs -
That start beneath my heart
and hold my body in a grip that hurts.
The lump that swells inside my throat
brings pain that tries to choke.
Then tears course down my cheeks -
I drop my head in my so empty hands
abandoning myself to deep dark grief
and know that with the passing time
will come relief.
That though the pain may stay
There soon will come a day
When I can say her name
and be at peace.

-Norah Leney

I spoke to a dear friend who I love deeply yesterday as he tried to come to grips with the sudden, unexpected loss of his dear wife. There are so many emotions running through me, especially on the heels of my note to my wife yesterday. I can't imagine the pain of this, J.C., I only know that you have so many people out here who love you and are here to support you in your unspeakable grief, and that time will pass to lighten your burden. Please feel it all, dear friend, and know our arms and hearts are wrapped around you and your family.