It's time to open our eyes.

"The great teachings throughout history unanimously emphasize that all of the peace, wisdom, and joy in the universe are already within us; we don't have to gain, develop, or attain them. We're like a child standing in a beautiful park with his eyes shut tight. We don't need to imagine trees, flowers, deer, birds, and sky; we merely need to open our eyes and realize what is already here, who we already are--as soon as we quit pretending we're small or unholy."

Bagger Vance on Golf ... and Life

"The swing is never learned. It's remembered. ... You can't make the ball go in the cup; you allow it to."

Bagger Vance, The Legend of Bagger Vance: A Novel of Golf and the Game of Life, by Steven Pressfield

Reflecting on the bigger game of life, I am slowly learning the art of remembering and allowing in life - remembering why I'm here and allowing myself the reward for acting true to what I remember. I am here to feel and express love; my reward is to experience being loved. The path demands pain and healing. There are many obstacles, the biggest being my own fears. The only competition that matters is the one inside me. The only winning that matters is the joy that comes with the growing mastery of my self. It is all good.

The gift of stillness

"We can make our minds so like still water that beings gather about us, that they may see their own images and so live for a moment with a clearer, perhaps even with a fiercer, life because of our quiet."

--W.B. Yeats

I experienced the gift of stillness today, meeting with and deeply listening to a few clients and dear friends who shared their recent dreams, stories, visitations, and voices with me. What I noticed in their eyes was the beautiful impact and awesome power of being able to see their own magnificence reflected clearly, knowing that they were both seen and loved for who they are.

My relationship with anger

"Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to a deeper understanding of ourselves."

-- Carl Jung

In the midst of my own "re-parenting" process, I am learning four concurrent and somewhat paradoxical lessons about my relationship with anger. And, interestingly enough, they are overlayed fairly closely by Don Miguel Ruiz's "Four Agreements" from his book by the same name. First, I am learning that I am fully "entitled" to my anger when I feel it and can honor it as a part of who I am that I had previously locked away as "bad" (this is part of the underlying premise of The Four Agreements, and the "re-parenting" process spoken of earlier, and much of Jung's work, having to do with learning to love yourself completely and unconditionally). Second, and more importantly, it is my choice how I express my anger when it shows up. My choice to express it clearly and in words, rather than in disguised, misleading, and/or overblown actions, determines my effectiveness in processing it and relating with others (First Agreement - Be Impeccable With Your Word). Third, I am learning that I don't necessarily "deserve" another person's anger when it is expressed toward me, and I really don't "know" what it means (Second and Third Agreements - Don't Take Things Personally, and Don't Assume). And finally, I am learning that I have a tendency to literally "invite" or trigger my experience of another person's anger when I allow my "fear" of it to control my thoughts and run my mouth. Being aware of this and being willing to look at the possibility that this is "what's going on" is an ongoing process in which I will improve as I practice and "stay in the conversation." And if I screw it up totally on occasion, I can forgive myself and simply let it be until I feel stronger. (Fourth Agreement - Always Do Your Best). These are things we all have to figure out for ourselves through constant trial and error, and the answers surely won't be found in a book, but if you haven't read this one you might find it supportive of your own journey. I find myself looking back to it often for insight and support.

Being alive

During our drive home from Austin today, with Anne driving and me alternating between: 1) admiring the many wildflowers along the highway, 2) daydreaming about our visit, 3) sleeping with my head bouncing off the window, and 4) blissfully staring at my sleeping little boy in his car seat next to me, I felt my spirit soar all over the planet. I visited a small jungle village at dawn in Cambodia. I drifted spellbound through refugee camps in Afghanistan, Pakistan, India, Israel, and the West Bank. I hustled through the busy, noisy city streets of Athens, Istanbul, London, Paris, and Rome. I walked along the beach, looking up at Positano along the Amalfi Coast in southern Italy. I rode a bicycle along the winding, windswept roads of Santorini, looking out over the sea. I stopped for a coffee in Sausalito and watched the rolling fog engulf San Francisco across the bay. I flew down the slopes of Banff overlooking glaciers and Chateau Lake Louise. I listened to my voice echoing through the ages in an ancient amphitheater in Ephesus. I jogged along a dirt trail at 9,000 feet in Crested Butte. I stepped gingerly over the newest lava flows of Kilauea, on the Big Island of Hawaii, with my shoe bottoms melting on my feet. I sat on a concrete embankment and watched the sunset over Galveston Bay with a friend. I dropped anchor in a little lagoon off Grenada and watched the moonrise with Anne over a glass of wine. I ran up the Art Museum stairs in Philadelphia, with my arms raised high and my feet bouncing up and down off the bronze footprints of Rocky. I felt present to all of you wherever you are, and I felt all of you with me in the car. It was a blissful experience of being a fully alive human being, aware of my entire life force and its global presence and responsibility.

Living richly

"When you live richly, when you accept and appreciate the abundance that is yours, much more of it naturally comes your way."

-- Ralph Marston

I experienced this today in Austin, in meeting a new friend. If I were "rich beyond my wildest dreams" (which I know I aready am in all ways that matter most to me) I would spend all of my time visiting cool places and meeting interesting people and finding ways in which we can serve and support each other in making the world a better place. Well, thanks to the "richness" of my relationships and network, I get introduced to such fascinating people all the time. I met B.M.S. today. What a treat! From the minute he grabbed the handle of the Starbuck's front door, I pointed at him from across the crowded store, knowing it was him, and he just smiled a smile of recognition, as if we had known each other all our lives. We met with the friend who connected us, we spent the entire afternoon learning about each other and planning our future interactions, and we parted knowing that we will be with each other always. He will be meeting one of my friends in his trip to New York this week, and then he will come stay with me, Anne, and Jake in the next month or so. Where it will go we just don't know, and yet we know exactly where it's going, don't we, B.? :-)

Embracing appreciation



"When appreciation for who you are shows up, run to it with open arms to greet it."

I'm driving up to Austin this afternoon, so that tomorrow I can visit with a man who called me out of the blue about a month ago to thank me for something I wrote a while back (the piece called "Transcending our Animal Instincts"). I have never met this guy, and he wasn't even on my distribution list at the time (but you can be sure he is now). I so trust the person who shared the piece with him, and I've so enjoyed our few phone conversations, that I'm absolutely convinced we are going to have a wonderful time together. This reminds me of the way I've met so many of the wonderful people who are now part of my community - my chosen family. I will see another one of them on Tuesday in Austin, right K.L.? And then we'll be visiting our dear friends in Florida, who we met this way, over the Memorial Day weekend. We can't wait, B.P. & C.P. I am filled with awe, curiosity, and faith that this is going to be another joyful ride in the world of intentional relationship, and it started with someone showing appreciation. Thank you, B.M.S., and see you tomorrow.

Spiritual work

"Spiritual work is not easy. It calls forth the willingness to surrender feelings that seem, while we're in them, like our defense against a greater pain. It requires that we surrender to God our perception of all things."

-- Marianne Williamson

Sometimes life is just tough. We can be in a prolonged period of what we think is effective, honorable living, and then a few things go haywire, and we are left wondering. I often find when this happens - like when an unexpected big expense shows up, or I get a speeding ticket while driving home from doing a "good deed," or I get a surprisingly critical response from someone about something I asked or suggested - that I get filled with a momentary self-righteousness, like, "Why me, God, and why now?", as if I deserved so much better. Well, says who? If I truly choose to claim my own sovereignty, and to consciously create my own experience of things, then I am bumping up against what I think is a prerequisite condition - that of giving up the notion that I have a clue about what's really going on. It's clear today that I don't. I think I'll just go take Jake for a bike ride and hang out with "cluelessness" for a while.