Keeping your personal integrity intact

"Our ability to truly hear another person 'file their complaint' about us is one very useful measure of our personal integrity in the moment.

When you are acting consistent with who you are, and feeling healthy and whole, you are able to 'hear through' others' comments (critical or otherwise) to the possibility that there might be some level of truth in what they are saying, for you - not that the tone or language they used was effective in communicating it (and it's definitely not when it's in blame or fault mode), but underneath that where there might be a golden nugget in their message for you to discover for your own good. You are at least willing to explore it.

When we are feeling broken and/or disconnected with ourselves, down-in-the-dumps, off-kilter, sick and tired, and not wanting to be found out, we typically cannot hear anything but annoying negativity in others' critical words - we are not able to really hear the message underneath their comments and often snap back in defense or withdraw in anger or hurt.

The key here is simply to notice what your response to these occurrences reflects about you and to consider how you might catch yourself - either to avoid doing defensive harm to someone you don't know very well (regardless of what they might have intended or how offended you might feel), or to proactively enrich the relationship with someone very important to you (who most likely had something meaningful to contribute to you and meant you no harm)?

Getting present to this question, remaining willing to explore it openly, especially if your integrity feels lazy or worn out as it's being 'zapped,' might just instantaneously refresh you and bring you back into alignment with yourself and the world."

Storytelling

"Storytelling provides a way of experiencing the beauty and grandeur of language."

- Leah Wilcox

Last night three men got together for dinner and an evening of storytelling. You knew when the story was especially personal and true when tears showed up in all three of us, and we each had such interesting stories to tell. There were different ages, histories, religions, and upbringings in the mix, and yet we worshipped life and praised God together, fully experiencing the joy of brotherhood, language, and true communion. I noticed today in my coaching conversations that stories kept showing up as the most enjoyable and meaningful learning tool. Remember to use your life's stories as currency in connecting and exchanging lessons with other people. That way we all get infinitely richer.

Thanks for the great evening, Bill & Sid. I look forward to the next time.

Awaken to the miracle that is your life.

"If we could actually see the explosion of miraculous events that get triggered inside our bodies by every breath we take, we would be left speechless, marvelling at the beauty and magnificence of the gift that is every moment of our lives. Everything else that we suffer or worry about would melt away. But these miracles are hidden from our naked eye, and therefore we just accept their occurrence at a very superficial and intellectual level, and largely take them all for granted (when we're healthy). Our brains are designed and programmed to be on the lookout for 'what's wrong' that might threaten our physical existence in the present moment, while doing nothing to insure our actual experience of the miracle of that same moment as it's passing. The 'existence' of human life is up to our brains to protect, but the 'gift' of life is up to our souls to unwrap and savor. Take a moment to step outside your mind's survival machinations to see the incredible miracle that is you, ... and celebrate."

Only "be" what you love.

"Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love your life and who you are, you will be successful in all measures that matter to you."

-- Herman Cain

I love the simplicity of this quote. For me, it asserts that if I take the time to be crystal clear about the life I love, then shift into "being" an expression of that life (being responsible for the discipline it takes to keep it present, regardless of external pressures), then the life I dream of is immediately available to me in the present moment (and isn't that really all there is anyway). I can often derail myself when I first get clear on what I "would love life to be like if I could have it that way someday," but then get stuck in the fear of what I make up it will take to produce it. Out of the fear of my own inadequacy, I will naturally see myself as "not being capable of that," so I will be tempted to give up on my dream and settle for struggle and survival, under those circumstances. It's so amazing how I can temporarily lose sight of my dream while claiming to be in pursuit of it, and then unconsciously sabotage it so that it remains unattainable. Having, and loving, my life requires changing how I think about it, choosing it in every conscious moment, and it is soooooo unnatural ... and wonderful.

Life's battle cry

"You cannot hope to build a better world without improving individuals. To that end each of us must work for our own improvement, and at the same time share a general responsibility for all humanity, our particular duty being to aid those to whom we think we can be most useful."

--Marie Curie

The battle cry for today, to reach out and give ourselves to those we feel called to help - thankful to God for the work, aware of and responsible for our own fragile humanity, respectful of others and theirs, moved by the magic of our unfolding awareness of what is and what is to be, trusting both the Source and the direction of its flow, letting go of the expectation or need for specific outcomes, and savoring the journey.

Today's focus is on our teenagers, those adventurous young adults who have now grown articulate enough, bold enough, disillusioned enough, strong enough enough to remind us, not so subtly, of the many ways in which we've failed them as stewards of the world. We have a sacred choice ahead - do we cling to our own need to be right in the matter, striving to produce a specific outcome in their lives (if only their forgiveness of us), or do we apply all that we know, while calling on the All-Knowing for guidance and support to give what we have to give. There is more going on here than we can even begin to understand, and yet we know we are being called to help, and for our own benefit as well as theirs.

Listening

"A good listener will always hear you, even in your absence or your silence."

I had a friend share a particular expression of this the other day when she credited her husband for "listening her soul into existence," back when she was going through a particularly hard time in her life. Listening and love - what an awesome combination!

Friendship

"Hold a true friend with both your hands."

-- Nigerian Proverb

I had several friends reach out today - some offering and some seeking friendship. Regardless of which, I hold them with both hands.

Thanks for the timely quote and, more importantly, your friendship, C.P.