"The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen."
-- Elizabeth Kubler Ross

Metaphorically speaking, here's my own personal version of the same message:

"As seedlings buried in dirt, we can't actually see the dirt we're in. When we poke through the surface and start reaching for the sun, we get to clearly see the dirt we've sprung from for the first time. At first glance, in contrast with the clean fresh air and sunlight, it might appear disgusting and gross and something to get out of. The fact is that struggling through it gave us new life, and it will always feed us part of what we need to thrive - a reminder of where we came from, in which we remain fundamentally rooted. Rather than curse the dirt, why not reach back into it and offer our support to others as they find their way through their life's dirt and into their own sunlight."

"The foundation and initial goal of transformation is avoiding doing harm to others. Whether alone or with others, we must strive to avoid doing harm either directly with our words or deeds or indirectly with our thoughts and intentions. We may injure others with abuse, slander, sarcasm, and deceit, or by acts of omission due to insensitivity and thoughtlessness. The most subtle way of harming others is indirectly by means of our thoughts, judgments, and attitudes. When the mind is dominated by hostility, we may be viciously attacking others with our thoughts. Although no apparent injury may be inflicted, these thoughts affect us internally and influence our way of interacting with others, and the long-term effect is invariable harmful. So the initial theme of Dharma practice is a nonviolent approach to our own lives, to other living beings, and to our environment. This is a foundation for spiritual practice, and can provide well-being for both ourselves and others. On this basis of non violence we can look for ways to serve others keeping in mind that any work will be altruistic if our motivation is one of kindness and friendliness."
-- B. Alan Wallace, Tibetan Buddhism from the Ground Up

Combining these wonderful Buddhist thoughts I received from a dear friend with my own Christian beliefs, and offered within the context of self-crucifixion described in the James Allen quote of a few days ago, I use this message to cleanse, purge, and surrender my "self." There have been and will continue to be times in the future when my intention of helping someone will contain unconscious elements of my human arrogance, blindness, dishonesty, ego defense, ignorance, pain, or shame, and what better opportunity than Good Friday to surrender those parts of me - my human weakness - to God. I ask others who have been harmed in any way by these occurrences to forgive me, as I ask God to continue to remove my blinders, show me His way, and set my spirit free.

Excessive worrying about, or rehashing of, the past is like digging holes in the road right under your feet and then throwing the clumps of dirt and rocks out ahead of you. It makes the present moment harder work than it needs to be, places unnecessary obstacles out ahead of you, and leaves an ugly mess to look back on when you're out there. Why tear up the road you're on, when you can just walk and let the path be?

I love finding the places where our belief systems / religions intersect and honor each other. Here is one such place where I believe Buddhists, Christians, Jews, Hindus, Muslims, etc. find common ground amidst powerful truth:

AND WISDOM BRINGS JOY
"Here then is the Jewish problem --- how to define strength and power, not only how to use it. To know the answer is to know wisdom --- chochmah. The Sefarim (Prayer books) teach us that the letters of chochmah also spell ma koach, 'What is strength?' and koach ma, 'What is strength's purpose?' Indeed, what is true strength, and to what avail is strength of man and his arsenals? In Koheles (2:26) (Hebrew - a book of the Torah), which we read for excellent and valid reasons on Succos (Feast of Tabernacles, upon which Thanksgiving is based), Shlomo HaMelech states: 'For to the man that is good in His sight He gives wisdom and knowledge and joy, but to the sinner He gives the task to gather and accumulate.'
A sinner is one who has missed the mark. He labors under the delusion that amassing and accumulating, be it wealth or weapons, will grant him safety and security. The man favored by G-d, who places his faith and trust in the Almighty, is granted three precious gifts --- wisdom, knowledge, and happiness. The man who knows where strength lies possesses true chochmah and is therefore blessed with simchah (happy occurences - good children, births, marriages, respect, etc.).

-- Rabbi Ralph Pelcowitz, in Security, Illusion, and Reality

"We have the power to notice the feelings of anger, frustration, pain, and stress in the moment, investigate the full story behind them, and realize that it may not actually be true for us right now, and clearly may not be what best serves us or the present situation. And through this simple realization, we can set ourselves free."

-- Byron Katie

When we are hurting, it is so powerfully seductive to exert our energy on complaining, securing others' sympathy or validation for the pain we're experiencing, attempting to prove someone else wrong or to make someone else pay, but isn't it strange that there is just never enough of these drugs to do the job. Relief never comes through these habitual pathways. Getting that we have the power over our own experience of now is a startling revelation. We can really see it any way we choose to if we open our minds to new ways of thinking.

I recently witnessed a handful of young teenaged boys in a locker room, one of whom was wincing in pain and complaining loudly about his leg cramps to anyone who would listen. One of the other boys mentioned that his Mom had told him that his cramps were a result of rapid growth - "growing pains" - and that they signified the acceleration of his "becoming a man." While the hurting boy first heard and then processed this new information I watched in amazement as his entire being shifted. What he was experiencing could now be seen as "cool." He gave up his fear of "inexplicably painful body sensations" in the moment and embraced the possibility that this was simply about him becoming a man. As he left the locker room there was no complaining, no limping, no wincing, and laughter showed up as he joked with his friends. Isn't it possible that many, if not all, of the most stressful problems we are currently wrestling with in our blindness and ignorance are merely "growing pains," and that by embracing this "cool" possibility we can actually learn and grow faster? And isn't there a gentler, higher, more empowering voice inside all of us - our ultimate Friend and Guide - that is there to remind us?

"Love always finds itself."

"Men are anxious to improve their circumstances, but are unwilling to improve themselves; they therefore remain bound. The man who does not shrink from self-crucifixion can never fail to accomplish the object upon which his heart is set. This is true of earthly as well as heavenly things. It is especially true for he who would create and realize a strong and well-poised life."
-- James Allen

I am a big James Allen fan. He sets the standard for self-responsibility for me. While writing this I remembered that a few weeks ago a good friend reminded me of God's words when it comes to this "boundedness" described above. He sent it in response to the message entitled "If you want both ..." Thanks, Tim, for these powerfully reinforcing words.

Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain. In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat - for He always grants what is needed to those He loves. (Psalm 127:1-2)

God is telling us there is a way of working without striving for results. There is a way to conduct business without sweating and toiling for a particular outcome. His warning to each of us is to avoid thinking that outcome is based on our sweat and toil. Outcome is based on our obedience. That outcome is sometimes more than we deserve. Sometimes it is less than we hoped for. His desire for each of us is to see Him working in our daily work life. He wants us to avoid looking to our own effort to gain an outcome and instead focus our effort inward.

"Men are what their mothers made them."

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I'm proud of the man I've become and thankful to you, Mom, for all of your love and support along the way. Have a great day tomorrow.